Everton News Archives

Saying goodbye to the football season is very much like giving birth to a ginger child: after nine months of optimism, hope and anguish, you’re left with a genuine feeling of disappointment.

The final day is often emotional. Who could forget Arsenal pipping Liverpool to the title in 1989? Well sadly, my old man. In fact, if you see a small befuddled pensioner roaming the streets, you’ll be better off avoiding football trivia altogether; senility is no picnic.

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Today’s transfer roundup starts up as the last one did, so Arsenal fans, feel free to jump a couple of paragraphs.

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Tubby Brazilian Ronaldo may be one of the greatest players to ever grace a football pitch, but he’s definitely a poor role model. The AC Milan man let himself down when he invited three members of the late-night entertainment industry back to a motel. It wasn’t just the fact that they turned out to be ladyboys; he shamefully offered to pay them for doing nothing. If I pay a builder to construct a conservatory, and he brings along a few superfluous tools, I’d expect him to keep his head down and finish the job.

This sorry tale was not the only case of mistaken identity this week; Rio Ferdinand kicked a female Chelsea steward after mistaking her for a wall. It sounds like a tall story, but I once kicked the wife by accident; I thought she was her mother.

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According to Forbes.com Manchester United have been valued at $1.8 billion, ahead of the club traditionally known as the richest club in football (Real Madrid, $1.285 billion) and their chief domestic rivals Arsenal ($1.2 billion), Liverpool ($1.05 billion) and Chelsea ($764 million).

Have fun sorting the lists according to different criteria. Here are some highlights:

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Sunday 27 April 2008, Premier League highlights:

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Everton 0-1 Chelsea

Everton hopes of qualifying of the Champions League is all but over after Essien gave Chelsea the winning goal

Visit goalcentre.com for more football videos.

It’s that time of the season when the player of the season awards start being handed out. It’s also the time of the season when us fans argue about who has been the best player in each of the positions. It is unlikely that any two fans would select an identical ‘team of the year’ but for the purposes of debate and ‘friendly’ discussion I thought I’d have a go at putting my ideas on paper.

I have selected a squad of twenty-two from which I will select my final Premier League eleven. I just know that the players I select will be hugely proud to be recognised by me, a man who all the top players listen to. Mmm.

I’m going for a good old fashioned 4-4-2. Not because it is the only way to play but because it makes it easier to put down on paper!
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Saturday’s Premier League game highlights:

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Soccerlens welcomes odds man Gerry McDonnell for another round of playing offside, general debauchery and betting scams…although there is no evidence to suggest that Gerry McDonnell was involved in a scam, or in fact a scam actually took place, or that he’s actually paying for exclusive access to Lindsay Lohan.

I do enjoy a moral dilemma. An intellectual friend asked if I would kill a chicken to save a chicken’s life. I honestly replied that I’d happily slaughter a chicken if I missed breakfast.

He went on to ask if I would ever use inside information to profit from gambling. I once again answered in all honesty that I have never been involved in such a practice; but then again, I don’t know Harry Redknapp.

There is still uproar amongst the betting community whenever the controversial ‘next Portsmouth manager’ market is discussed. I must point out that there is no evidence to suggest that Harry Redknapp was involved in a scam, or in fact that a scam actually took place. I will just say that the 11/4 for a Newcastle win over Portsmouth should be investigated further.

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On one hand, he’s a good looking chap (when he can keep a straight face) and an ‘effective’ striker (when he can find his bearings, is motivated and doesn’t have to jump).

On the other hand, he’s woefully underused at Liverpool, even though he’s had more than a handful of substitute appearances. As he himself says, he needs to be playing regularly, but the irony is that if he plays for a smaller club (say, Everton) he’s not going to be as noticed as he would be at Liverpool (even if he plays regularly) and if he stays at Liverpool, he won’t get enough chances to stake a claim for an England berth.

All this points to one thing only - that he’s not good enough to be starting for a Big Four club, and he’s probably not good enough to start for England either. Mind you Crouch lovers, I’m saying this based on the ambitions of clubs and country as opposed to any slight on his playing talents.

But Crouch is unlikely to move away from Anfield this summer. We know why Rafa signed him, and I think I know now why Rafa is so keen to keep Peter Crouch at Liverpool:

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3 points behind (4 if you factor in the goal difference) and 5 games to go - can Everton catch Liverpool?

David Moyes seems to think so:

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All the goals from 5-6 April 08 English Premier League games:

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The inimitable (we’re running out of adjectives) betting expert Gerry McDonnell gives his take on this weekend’s FA Cup action, Premier League action and all the other action he loves watching on the telly.

The adult film industry has many knockers, but I remain a fully-fledged supporter. My only possible critique would be that the storylines occasionally lack realism. I can’t begin to tell you how disappointed I was with my job as a photocopier repair man.

My wife is a fierce critic of the genre as she incorrectly believes that the art form demeans women. Personally, I think it’s a positive when a hobby becomes an occupation; I would love to get paid for sending nude photographs of myself to Cheryl Tweedy. I’ll have to finance my pastime by backing Portsmouth at 10/11 to beat West Brom in their FA Cup semi-final.

My favourite sub-genre of the adult entertainment industry is the one when two ladies take a spiritual road to self-discovery. There are things I’d rather not see though, and watching Barnsley play Cardiff is the equivalent of watching Lisa Riley tinker with Jade Goody. Cardiff will probably win their semi at 11/8, but I’d rather watch something a little more uplifting.

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Everton have complained to the police in order to draw attention to the abuse targeted at their players during the Merseyside derby on Sunday.

Liverpool manager Rafa Benitez had already made his feelings known in the post-match conference with his disgust towards the treatment of Steven Gerrard by a section of the visiting fans.

Phil Neville, the Everton captain, was spat at and punched by Liverpool supporters as he prepared to take a throw-in. Liverpool skipper Steven Gerrard was forced to endure abusive chants about his daughter. I’m not overly bothered by most chanting (it’s harmless and sometimes funny banter) but there’s always been a segment that’s crude, offensive and inappropriate.

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All Premier League highlights for Sunday 30 March 2008:

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People said this season that the Premier League had a ‘Big 3′, not a Big 4′, what with Liverpool’s inconsistent performances in the domestic league. Much of that was banter, but if there was any genuine doubt it should have been cleared today with Liverpool’s win over Everton.

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The Merseyside derby in recent years has been little more than a match between two local rivals. But this year there is more at stake as Liverpool and Everton are fighting each other for the fourth and final Champions League spot. What more can you ask for, to spice up the local rivalry?

Both teams go into Sunday’s game on the back of bad news. Everton have confirmed that their inspirational midfielder, Tim Cahill, is out for the rest of the season with a broken metat meturta metertars, toe.

Liverpool on the other hand are still having behind the scenes problems as George Gillett has declared his relationship with Tom Hicks as totally broken down. What a mess those two have made of things.

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Gerry McDonnell returns with his weekly betting column on the English Premier League.

Marriage is like a chicken vindaloo, it’s something you have to try at least once, even though you know you’ll later regret it.

I experienced my seven-year itch quite early, it was on the honeymoon. Fortunately, my wandering eye didn’t lead to an act of betrayal, although I put that down to the fact that the barmaid was almost certainly a button-flicker.

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Everton have beaten off competition from Manchester United and Liverpool to secure the signing of a seven-year-old goalkeeper. Harry Yates will join up with Everton after being spotted playing for his junior side.

After much interest from a number of teams, including Manchester United and Liverpool, his parents decided the young goalkeeper from Heaton Mersey in Stockport, will be given the best care at Everton.

Harry’s father Phil, himself a former goalie, reckons it was only a matter of time.

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Gerry McDonnell returns with his weekly betting column on the English Premier League.

Even though I was brought up as a Catholic, I have never followed a spiritual path. I blame an over-zealous Priest for my descent into heresy; he was constantly on my back when I was young.

If my memory serves me correctly, Easter is a time to reflect upon the resurrection of Christ. It’s believed that after three days, He rose again. I don’t want to diminish the significance, but I’d fancy Pele to beat that. The Geordies believe that King Keegan is the one true Messiah; it would be sacrilegious not to back Newcastle at 10/11 against Fulham.

Jesus may have forgiven Robbie Keane for his petulant reaction to being substituted last weekend, but Juande Ramos was apoplectic. I have a lot of sympathy for Keane in this case; it’s an emotional time when you’re being pulled off. I’ll happily play with the even money for a Tottenham win over Portsmouth.

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Uefa’s Control and Disciplinary Committee has imposed a fine of £2,520 on Lyon for “incidents of an unsporting nature”.

This comes after an incident at the Stade Gerland during the first leg of the Lyon-Manchester United Champions League 2nd round last month where a fan behind the Lyon goal targeted Cristiano Ronaldo with a laser pen. However, Uefa made it a point to clarify that “there was no suggestion Ronaldo’s health could have been affected by this incident” - how thoughtful of them.

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Frankie from the SL forum pops the question:

4 Successive draws against Birmingham, Wigan, Aston Villa and Middlesborough. 8 points dropped in just 4 games. Six points dropped against teams battling against relegation. Two very lucky draws in the last 2 home games; equalisers with 5 seconds left against Villa, and with 4 minutes to go against Middlesborough.

Have Arsenal run out of steam?

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Gerry McDonnell returns with his weekly betting column on the English Premier League.

There’s life in the old dog…unfortunately

Like Wayne Rooney, I’m a lover of the old. I’m never happier than when some wrinkled old seaside-bungalow hogger is regaling me with tales of a bygone age.

If my old man is to be believed, and he’s not, football was completely different in the old days. Goals were celebrated by a handshake, an assault on a goalkeeper was practically encouraged and heading the ball led to a short stay in hospital, which was basically a shed with a sponge.

I’m unsure of the best way of handling the elderly when they reach such a constant state of dull reflection, but only a fool should rule out euthanasia. It looks like Avram Grant will soon be put out of his misery; Sunderland can lend a helping hand at 7/1.

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Like Martin Luther King and Gandhi, I’m a fan of passive resistance; but there are some things in life that we have to fight for. For me, it’s a baby’s smile, the love of a mute woman or more affordable prices at the petrol pump.

It’s to my deep and lasting regret that a serious injury prevented me from joining the military. I’ve been plagued with recurring back pain since childhood - it’s never easy growing up in Jersey.

Fortunately for the army, Prince Harry was able to stand up and fight for possible Grandmother and Country. His willingness to get his hands dirty shows real character; he’s stuck two fingers up to those who question Germany’s poor war record. Fulham’s recent record is at an equally unhealthy level; they’ve only one won of their last eighteen battles. Blackburn will take no prisoners at 11/20.

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A few questions that have been asked - some in the past 24 hours, others in the past year or so. Surprisingly (or not) they involve the big four (and their two closest challengers), so let’s look at them one by one:

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Steven Taylor, the much-hyped (and promising) Newcastle United defender:

“The longer I hear nothing from the club the more I fear they want to sell me. If there is no offer on the table by the summer then I will have no choice but to look at my options.”

So, assuming that Newcastle United get relegated / Taylor is not offered a new contract / Taylor is sold, where will he go?

Let’s find out:

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Since Graham’s been going on and on about predictions, here are a few I’ve made in the past (1, 2, 3, 4). I got a few specific ones wrong (David Jones was sold, Alan Smith was sold, Rossi was sold) but in hindsight, that was wishful thinking. I got a few key ones right as well - Makelele’s decline, Scholesy and Giggsy decline and Arsenal’s problems last season.

In any case, I hope you guys enjoy Gerry’s and Graham’s weekend previews - on to the rest of today’s news:

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