West Ham News Archives

Saying goodbye to the football season is very much like giving birth to a ginger child: after nine months of optimism, hope and anguish, you’re left with a genuine feeling of disappointment.

The final day is often emotional. Who could forget Arsenal pipping Liverpool to the title in 1989? Well sadly, my old man. In fact, if you see a small befuddled pensioner roaming the streets, you’ll be better off avoiding football trivia altogether; senility is no picnic.

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The North East of England is often described as a ‘football hotbed’ – an area that is widely accepted to be rich in the culture, tradition and passion of the beautiful game. Three big clubs, hundreds of thousands of loyal supporters and a breeding ground for talent through the eras, there can’t be many parts of the world that top Tyneside, Wearside and the Tees on the hotbed thermometer ?

Well of course there are. Bobby Charlton, Alan Shearer and Paul Gascoigne apart, how many world class players has the ‘hotbed’ produced ? And how many trophies have their teams won on a national or international stage ?

I know it’s not all about glory and home grown talent, but I can make a case for ten diverse areas on this planet all being bigger hotbeds than the North East (population: 2,515,442):

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All Premier League highlights from Saturday’s matches:

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The press should be ashamed of themselves. Their suspicion and fueling of non-issues forces players and managers in the game to lie, to think 10 times before they say something, to spout carefully prepared statements or just hide from the spotlight.

Honesty and friendship, it seems, isn’t allowed in football.

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Tubby Brazilian Ronaldo may be one of the greatest players to ever grace a football pitch, but he’s definitely a poor role model. The AC Milan man let himself down when he invited three members of the late-night entertainment industry back to a motel. It wasn’t just the fact that they turned out to be ladyboys; he shamefully offered to pay them for doing nothing. If I pay a builder to construct a conservatory, and he brings along a few superfluous tools, I’d expect him to keep his head down and finish the job.

This sorry tale was not the only case of mistaken identity this week; Rio Ferdinand kicked a female Chelsea steward after mistaking her for a wall. It sounds like a tall story, but I once kicked the wife by accident; I thought she was her mother.

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According to Forbes.com Manchester United have been valued at $1.8 billion, ahead of the club traditionally known as the richest club in football (Real Madrid, $1.285 billion) and their chief domestic rivals Arsenal ($1.2 billion), Liverpool ($1.05 billion) and Chelsea ($764 million).

Have fun sorting the lists according to different criteria. Here are some highlights:

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Saturday 26 April 2008 - English Premier League highlights:

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Saturday’s Premier League game highlights:

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Soccerlens welcomes odds man Gerry McDonnell for another round of playing offside, general debauchery and betting scams…although there is no evidence to suggest that Gerry McDonnell was involved in a scam, or in fact a scam actually took place, or that he’s actually paying for exclusive access to Lindsay Lohan.

I do enjoy a moral dilemma. An intellectual friend asked if I would kill a chicken to save a chicken’s life. I honestly replied that I’d happily slaughter a chicken if I missed breakfast.

He went on to ask if I would ever use inside information to profit from gambling. I once again answered in all honesty that I have never been involved in such a practice; but then again, I don’t know Harry Redknapp.

There is still uproar amongst the betting community whenever the controversial ‘next Portsmouth manager’ market is discussed. I must point out that there is no evidence to suggest that Harry Redknapp was involved in a scam, or in fact that a scam actually took place. I will just say that the 11/4 for a Newcastle win over Portsmouth should be investigated further.

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The inimitable (we’re running out of adjectives) betting expert Gerry McDonnell gives his take on this weekend’s FA Cup action, Premier League action and all the other action he loves watching on the telly.

The adult film industry has many knockers, but I remain a fully-fledged supporter. My only possible critique would be that the storylines occasionally lack realism. I can’t begin to tell you how disappointed I was with my job as a photocopier repair man.

My wife is a fierce critic of the genre as she incorrectly believes that the art form demeans women. Personally, I think it’s a positive when a hobby becomes an occupation; I would love to get paid for sending nude photographs of myself to Cheryl Tweedy. I’ll have to finance my pastime by backing Portsmouth at 10/11 to beat West Brom in their FA Cup semi-final.

My favourite sub-genre of the adult entertainment industry is the one when two ladies take a spiritual road to self-discovery. There are things I’d rather not see though, and watching Barnsley play Cardiff is the equivalent of watching Lisa Riley tinker with Jade Goody. Cardiff will probably win their semi at 11/8, but I’d rather watch something a little more uplifting.

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A points difference of 9, with 6 games to go, is hardly something to make you quiver in your boots. In fact, such chances are excellent opportunities for fighting talk - just now Southgate is talking about derailing Manchester United’s title march this weekend and recently Keegan talked about overtaking Tottenham in the league standings.

West Ham have a different approach to it - they’re going to stick their heads in the sand and hope that their opponents are too tired to beat them. The team in question are Portsmouth, who take on Championship side West Brom in the semi-finals at Wembley on Saturday before returning to Premier League action on Tuesday.

West Ham’s Lucas Neill on Portsmouth:

“Obviously all their focus will be on that FA Cup game. Maybe we can catch them off guard, on an off day where their focus is elsewhere.”

Home game Neill, HOME GAME. Middlesbrough are talking about beating United (a difference of 32 points) while West Ham are talking about hoping to catch Portsmouth on an off-day (difference of 9 points). I wonder where Middlesbrough would be with the money West Ham have.

For all I know West Ham could be feigning incompetence in order to stun Portsmouth when they travel to Upton Park, but some part of me doesn’t believe that. West Ham, like Tottenham, seem to have given up on their season which is a shame considering that they’ve done a lot better this season and keeping that momentum going would have helped them for next season as well.

Kevin Keegan, in the heady aftermath of Newcastle’s 4-1 win away to Tottenham, has said that if Newcastle keep up their momentum they have a chance to finish in the top 10. Newcastle are 4 points behind Tottenham and 9 behind West Ham, and with 6 games to go (and with Newcastle still to play West Ham, albeit at Upton Park).

Keegan:

“We’re starting to look up now. There is a chance we can catch Spurs and one or two others who get stuck in that middle area where there is not a lot to play for other than pride.”

In some ways this is a smart move by Keegan - he knows his players have failed this season and he knows that they are better than the points table suggests - and if he can get them to play for pride and build up momentum, there’s a chance that they might just overtake Tottenham, if not West Ham.

On the other hand, it’s optimistic and Keegan is bound to get some flak for it.

Let’s look at the fixtures and see what’s possible:

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Gerry McDonnell returns with his weekly betting column on the English Premier League.

Marriage is like a chicken vindaloo, it’s something you have to try at least once, even though you know you’ll later regret it.

I experienced my seven-year itch quite early, it was on the honeymoon. Fortunately, my wandering eye didn’t lead to an act of betrayal, although I put that down to the fact that the barmaid was almost certainly a button-flicker.

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Gerry McDonnell returns with his weekly betting column on the English Premier League.

Even though I was brought up as a Catholic, I have never followed a spiritual path. I blame an over-zealous Priest for my descent into heresy; he was constantly on my back when I was young.

If my memory serves me correctly, Easter is a time to reflect upon the resurrection of Christ. It’s believed that after three days, He rose again. I don’t want to diminish the significance, but I’d fancy Pele to beat that. The Geordies believe that King Keegan is the one true Messiah; it would be sacrilegious not to back Newcastle at 10/11 against Fulham.

Jesus may have forgiven Robbie Keane for his petulant reaction to being substituted last weekend, but Juande Ramos was apoplectic. I have a lot of sympathy for Keane in this case; it’s an emotional time when you’re being pulled off. I’ll happily play with the even money for a Tottenham win over Portsmouth.

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Gerry McDonnell returns with his weekly betting column on the English Premier League.

There’s life in the old dog…unfortunately

Like Wayne Rooney, I’m a lover of the old. I’m never happier than when some wrinkled old seaside-bungalow hogger is regaling me with tales of a bygone age.

If my old man is to be believed, and he’s not, football was completely different in the old days. Goals were celebrated by a handshake, an assault on a goalkeeper was practically encouraged and heading the ball led to a short stay in hospital, which was basically a shed with a sponge.

I’m unsure of the best way of handling the elderly when they reach such a constant state of dull reflection, but only a fool should rule out euthanasia. It looks like Avram Grant will soon be put out of his misery; Sunderland can lend a helping hand at 7/1.

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Like Martin Luther King and Gandhi, I’m a fan of passive resistance; but there are some things in life that we have to fight for. For me, it’s a baby’s smile, the love of a mute woman or more affordable prices at the petrol pump.

It’s to my deep and lasting regret that a serious injury prevented me from joining the military. I’ve been plagued with recurring back pain since childhood - it’s never easy growing up in Jersey.

Fortunately for the army, Prince Harry was able to stand up and fight for possible Grandmother and Country. His willingness to get his hands dirty shows real character; he’s stuck two fingers up to those who question Germany’s poor war record. Fulham’s recent record is at an equally unhealthy level; they’ve only one won of their last eighteen battles. Blackburn will take no prisoners at 11/20.

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Tottenham Hotspur 4 v 0 West Ham United
Premier League, White Hart Lane, 15:00 GMT, Sunday 9 March 2008

West Ham achieved the unwelcome feat of losing three games in a row 4-0 today at White Hart Lane as Tottenham emphatically returned to winning ways.

Two goals by Dimitar Berbatov, one by Gilberto going some way to make up for his nightmarish debut and one from Darren Bent saw off a West Ham side who also had Luis Boa Morte sent off for two yellow cards.

After five minutes Paul Robinson continued his run of unusual goalkeeping by failing to deal with a Ljungberg 25 yarder, although he reacted quickly enough to deny Dean Ashton.

Just three minutes later Tom Huddlestone delivered a perfect free kick for Berbatov to head Tottenham in front.

Only a few seconds later Tottenham were awarded another free kick on the other side of the pitch and the Huddlestone Berbatov routine was repeated to double Tottenham’s lead and leave West Ham looking shell shocked.

Tottenham dominated the game and Huddlestone and Malbranque went close. A series of fouls by West Ham as they became frustrated by Tottenham’s dominance saw Boa Morte receive two yellow cards and get sent from the field. That really was game over for the Hammers.

In the second half neither team created much as Tottenham comfortably held on to their lead against a West Ham side looking short of ideas and confidence.

In the final five minutes substitutes Gilberto and Bent added a third and fourth goal for the hosts and completed a miserable day for West Ham.

Some Sunday papers suggested today that Alan Curbishley will be looking for a new job in the summer and this third consecutive 4-0 defeat will do nothing to bring an end to those rumours.

Tottenham: Robinson, Hutton, Dawson, Woodgate (Tainio 77), Chimbonda, Lennon, Zokora, Huddlestone, Malbranque (Gilberto 58), Berbatov, Keane (Bent 69).
Subs Not Used: Cerny, Boateng.

West Ham: Green, Neill, Ferdinand, Spector, McCartney, Ljungberg (Pantsil 71), Parker (Noble 76), Mullins, Boa Morte, Ashton (Cole 77), Zamora.
Subs Not Used: Wright, Solano.

My profuse apologies to Tottenham and West Ham fans for the title of this article, but with Arsenal and Chelsea flying high in the Premier League and in Europe, it’s hard to make a case for either of these two teams at the moment.

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Well, that was a surprise. No, not Real Madrid losing at home to Roma (bye bye Schuster, hello Jose?), although Roma must be commended for their excellent efforts (for full coverage, read Chris’s live blog / report).

No, the surprise was seeing Liverpool fans searching on Google for information on the 2nd leg game against Inter (easily outstripping the search efforts of Chelsea fans, so there’s one debate settled about which club has more fans) - apparently a large contingent of Reds thought that Liverpool were playing this Wednesday. What, Hicks and Gillett are too busy dragging the club through mud to send you guys a memo?

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Steven Taylor, the much-hyped (and promising) Newcastle United defender:

“The longer I hear nothing from the club the more I fear they want to sell me. If there is no offer on the table by the summer then I will have no choice but to look at my options.”

So, assuming that Newcastle United get relegated / Taylor is not offered a new contract / Taylor is sold, where will he go?

Let’s find out:

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I won’t mention anything about what happened to Arsenal’s Eduardo over the weekend, since it’s been talked about plenty already, but I send my get well wishes towards him, and hope he’s back scoring goals (but not against Manchester United) again as soon as possible.

It was a pretty important weekend of football in the Premier League, with the race for the title and for European places getting ever tighter as we edge towards the home stretch.

At the other end, the relegation battle is ongoing, and though it’s almost a given that Derby will be playing Championship football next term, several other sides are fighting to not join the Rams in the second level.

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In today’s football videos roundup we look a some of today’s and yesterday’s Premier League matches.

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Call me old-fashioned, but i believe that fidelity remains the cornerstone of a successful relationship. I would never cheat on my wife, unless the opportunity arose.

I have serious doubts over my wife’s respect for monogamy. The word on the street is that Ashley Cole was physically sick while performing the horizontal 64-second jig, which fits in perfectly with the wife’s M.O.

I can’t condemn Cole too strongly, as he’s not the first man to hurl after munching on a late-night kebab. On reflection, he probably should have stuck with a sausage sandwich. A Chelsea draw against Pompey ticks all the right boxes at 5/2, and then cleans them with disinfectant.

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Just a single win in the last six Premier League games for politician-turned business tycoon Thakshin Sinawatra’s Manchester City and already there are talks that Sven Goran Ericsson would be provided a look at the transfer market at the fag end of January to bring in extra recruits, possibly a high-profile striker, to restore an increasingly frustrating Champions League qualification march. City controversially earned a point against an energetic West Ham side to keep the unbeaten home run going at the City of Manchester Stadium which saw them go fifth in the Premiership table.

The point here is, can Sven Goran Ericsson keep up his promise to the Eastlands fans of qualifying for the UEFA Cup next season?

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