Portsmouth News Archives

Saying goodbye to the football season is very much like giving birth to a ginger child: after nine months of optimism, hope and anguish, you’re left with a genuine feeling of disappointment.

The final day is often emotional. Who could forget Arsenal pipping Liverpool to the title in 1989? Well sadly, my old man. In fact, if you see a small befuddled pensioner roaming the streets, you’ll be better off avoiding football trivia altogether; senility is no picnic.

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So, what’s going on in the world of transfer rumors today? As always, chime in and chip in with opinions - and with rumors!

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All Premier League highlights from Saturday’s matches:

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Tubby Brazilian Ronaldo may be one of the greatest players to ever grace a football pitch, but he’s definitely a poor role model. The AC Milan man let himself down when he invited three members of the late-night entertainment industry back to a motel. It wasn’t just the fact that they turned out to be ladyboys; he shamefully offered to pay them for doing nothing. If I pay a builder to construct a conservatory, and he brings along a few superfluous tools, I’d expect him to keep his head down and finish the job.

This sorry tale was not the only case of mistaken identity this week; Rio Ferdinand kicked a female Chelsea steward after mistaking her for a wall. It sounds like a tall story, but I once kicked the wife by accident; I thought she was her mother.

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Sunday 27 April 2008, Premier League highlights:

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It’s that time of the season when the player of the season awards start being handed out. It’s also the time of the season when us fans argue about who has been the best player in each of the positions. It is unlikely that any two fans would select an identical ‘team of the year’ but for the purposes of debate and ‘friendly’ discussion I thought I’d have a go at putting my ideas on paper.

I have selected a squad of twenty-two from which I will select my final Premier League eleven. I just know that the players I select will be hugely proud to be recognised by me, a man who all the top players listen to. Mmm.

I’m going for a good old fashioned 4-4-2. Not because it is the only way to play but because it makes it easier to put down on paper!
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Saturday’s Premier League game highlights:

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Like last season, Ronaldo is a strong favourite for winning the Professional Footballers’ Association players’ player of the year and the PFA young player of the year awards.

Here’s the full list of nominations:

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Soccerlens welcomes odds man Gerry McDonnell for another round of playing offside, general debauchery and betting scams…although there is no evidence to suggest that Gerry McDonnell was involved in a scam, or in fact a scam actually took place, or that he’s actually paying for exclusive access to Lindsay Lohan.

I do enjoy a moral dilemma. An intellectual friend asked if I would kill a chicken to save a chicken’s life. I honestly replied that I’d happily slaughter a chicken if I missed breakfast.

He went on to ask if I would ever use inside information to profit from gambling. I once again answered in all honesty that I have never been involved in such a practice; but then again, I don’t know Harry Redknapp.

There is still uproar amongst the betting community whenever the controversial ‘next Portsmouth manager’ market is discussed. I must point out that there is no evidence to suggest that Harry Redknapp was involved in a scam, or in fact that a scam actually took place. I will just say that the 11/4 for a Newcastle win over Portsmouth should be investigated further.

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The inimitable (we’re running out of adjectives) betting expert Gerry McDonnell gives his take on this weekend’s FA Cup action, Premier League action and all the other action he loves watching on the telly.

The adult film industry has many knockers, but I remain a fully-fledged supporter. My only possible critique would be that the storylines occasionally lack realism. I can’t begin to tell you how disappointed I was with my job as a photocopier repair man.

My wife is a fierce critic of the genre as she incorrectly believes that the art form demeans women. Personally, I think it’s a positive when a hobby becomes an occupation; I would love to get paid for sending nude photographs of myself to Cheryl Tweedy. I’ll have to finance my pastime by backing Portsmouth at 10/11 to beat West Brom in their FA Cup semi-final.

My favourite sub-genre of the adult entertainment industry is the one when two ladies take a spiritual road to self-discovery. There are things I’d rather not see though, and watching Barnsley play Cardiff is the equivalent of watching Lisa Riley tinker with Jade Goody. Cardiff will probably win their semi at 11/8, but I’d rather watch something a little more uplifting.

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Why did Harry buy David Nugent, and why did he then not use him like a mid-table club would use a 6m striker (that is, frequently)?

Surely they tried before buying, gave him the ball and checked if he could shoot and run with it. A medical is standard procedure, right? If he’s not good enough for Portsmouth, then why buy him in the firsts place? How did he dupe Harry into signing him then?

So what’s wrong? Did Nugent shag Harry’s mistress on the first day? Did he refuse to give Campbell a backrub? Does he smoke and is thus in David James’s bad books? Did he develop a rash that stops him from wearing shorts? Does he really like shopping so much that he misses training?

Why is Nugent at Portsmouth? And more importantly, why isn’t he playing?

A points difference of 9, with 6 games to go, is hardly something to make you quiver in your boots. In fact, such chances are excellent opportunities for fighting talk - just now Southgate is talking about derailing Manchester United’s title march this weekend and recently Keegan talked about overtaking Tottenham in the league standings.

West Ham have a different approach to it - they’re going to stick their heads in the sand and hope that their opponents are too tired to beat them. The team in question are Portsmouth, who take on Championship side West Brom in the semi-finals at Wembley on Saturday before returning to Premier League action on Tuesday.

West Ham’s Lucas Neill on Portsmouth:

“Obviously all their focus will be on that FA Cup game. Maybe we can catch them off guard, on an off day where their focus is elsewhere.”

Home game Neill, HOME GAME. Middlesbrough are talking about beating United (a difference of 32 points) while West Ham are talking about hoping to catch Portsmouth on an off-day (difference of 9 points). I wonder where Middlesbrough would be with the money West Ham have.

For all I know West Ham could be feigning incompetence in order to stun Portsmouth when they travel to Upton Park, but some part of me doesn’t believe that. West Ham, like Tottenham, seem to have given up on their season which is a shame considering that they’ve done a lot better this season and keeping that momentum going would have helped them for next season as well.

Cristiano Ronaldo. Straight up, straight in. No time to react, no time to even breathe. Perhaps not the best player, but definitely one of the best free kicks ever taken by CR.

There have been better goals than this, surely - I remember a Leighton Baines free kick against United that was a rocket into the top corner, beat van der Sar even though he tried to stop it.

If you’ve seen a better free kick, feel free to drop the link in the comments.

Gerry McDonnell returns with his weekly betting column on the English Premier League.

Marriage is like a chicken vindaloo, it’s something you have to try at least once, even though you know you’ll later regret it.

I experienced my seven-year itch quite early, it was on the honeymoon. Fortunately, my wandering eye didn’t lead to an act of betrayal, although I put that down to the fact that the barmaid was almost certainly a button-flicker.

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Gerry McDonnell returns with his weekly betting column on the English Premier League.

Even though I was brought up as a Catholic, I have never followed a spiritual path. I blame an over-zealous Priest for my descent into heresy; he was constantly on my back when I was young.

If my memory serves me correctly, Easter is a time to reflect upon the resurrection of Christ. It’s believed that after three days, He rose again. I don’t want to diminish the significance, but I’d fancy Pele to beat that. The Geordies believe that King Keegan is the one true Messiah; it would be sacrilegious not to back Newcastle at 10/11 against Fulham.

Jesus may have forgiven Robbie Keane for his petulant reaction to being substituted last weekend, but Juande Ramos was apoplectic. I have a lot of sympathy for Keane in this case; it’s an emotional time when you’re being pulled off. I’ll happily play with the even money for a Tottenham win over Portsmouth.

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Gerry McDonnell returns with his weekly betting column on the English Premier League.

There’s life in the old dog…unfortunately

Like Wayne Rooney, I’m a lover of the old. I’m never happier than when some wrinkled old seaside-bungalow hogger is regaling me with tales of a bygone age.

If my old man is to be believed, and he’s not, football was completely different in the old days. Goals were celebrated by a handshake, an assault on a goalkeeper was practically encouraged and heading the ball led to a short stay in hospital, which was basically a shed with a sponge.

I’m unsure of the best way of handling the elderly when they reach such a constant state of dull reflection, but only a fool should rule out euthanasia. It looks like Avram Grant will soon be put out of his misery; Sunderland can lend a helping hand at 7/1.

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Like Martin Luther King and Gandhi, I’m a fan of passive resistance; but there are some things in life that we have to fight for. For me, it’s a baby’s smile, the love of a mute woman or more affordable prices at the petrol pump.

It’s to my deep and lasting regret that a serious injury prevented me from joining the military. I’ve been plagued with recurring back pain since childhood - it’s never easy growing up in Jersey.

Fortunately for the army, Prince Harry was able to stand up and fight for possible Grandmother and Country. His willingness to get his hands dirty shows real character; he’s stuck two fingers up to those who question Germany’s poor war record. Fulham’s recent record is at an equally unhealthy level; they’ve only one won of their last eighteen battles. Blackburn will take no prisoners at 11/20.

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Manchester United 0 v 1 Portsmouth
FA Cup, Old Trafford, 12:45 GMT, Saturday 08 March 2008

Manchester United’s dream of a second treble was ended by Harry Redknapp’s Portsmouth at Old Trafford this afternoon. A Muntari penalty was enough to beat ten man United who lost two goalkeepers during the game.

As expected, Sir Alex Ferguson rotated his squad for this FA Cup Quarter Final and Portsmouth must have been delighted to see they only had a midfield of Scholes and Hargreaves to worry about. Also Tevez was brought back in to partner Wayne Rooney up front.

In a first half basically dominated by United, Portsmouth grew in confidence and looked more and more comfortable. United were a little guilty of the old Arsenal disease of trying to walk the ball into the net.

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Well, that was a surprise. No, not Real Madrid losing at home to Roma (bye bye Schuster, hello Jose?), although Roma must be commended for their excellent efforts (for full coverage, read Chris’s live blog / report).

No, the surprise was seeing Liverpool fans searching on Google for information on the 2nd leg game against Inter (easily outstripping the search efforts of Chelsea fans, so there’s one debate settled about which club has more fans) - apparently a large contingent of Reds thought that Liverpool were playing this Wednesday. What, Hicks and Gillett are too busy dragging the club through mud to send you guys a memo?

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Steven Taylor, the much-hyped (and promising) Newcastle United defender:

“The longer I hear nothing from the club the more I fear they want to sell me. If there is no offer on the table by the summer then I will have no choice but to look at my options.”

So, assuming that Newcastle United get relegated / Taylor is not offered a new contract / Taylor is sold, where will he go?

Let’s find out:

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I won’t mention anything about what happened to Arsenal’s Eduardo over the weekend, since it’s been talked about plenty already, but I send my get well wishes towards him, and hope he’s back scoring goals (but not against Manchester United) again as soon as possible.

It was a pretty important weekend of football in the Premier League, with the race for the title and for European places getting ever tighter as we edge towards the home stretch.

At the other end, the relegation battle is ongoing, and though it’s almost a given that Derby will be playing Championship football next term, several other sides are fighting to not join the Rams in the second level.

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All bets were off two weeks ago but since returning from Portugal’s friendly defeat to Italy Cristiano Ronaldo has looked a pale shadow of the world-beating uber-confident star that lit up the Premiership’s last six months. After a frustrating Manchester derby and an insipid display in Lyon (he missed the 4-0 Arsenal wrecking) – could randy Ron be overtaken in the sprint finish for the personal accolades this season ?

Contenders……..ready!

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It’s not been a good 10 days for the Premier League, for Richard Scudamore or for their grand plan to take the league to the world. Flak has come in from all comers, from the media hacks working for the reactionary red-tops, all the way up to the top of the tree, where Sepp Blatter has joined Michel Platini and Mohammed Bin Hassan in dismissing the concept of Premiership matches being played abroad in the bid for lucrative sponsorship deals to make the rich richer.

Chief Executive Richard Scudamore is a wanted man for putting forward the proposal, with the press having a field day in pointing out the disregard for the common fan in order to please the masses abroad and the corporate bodies willing to splash the cash to get their product involved. All things told, the masses have voted and the idea, as John Madjeski put it earlier, is “in tatters”. It’s a black mark the head honchos within the committee will have to work damn hard at to remove any time soon.

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We’re down to the last four games of the FA Cup and with smart money on Manchester United or Chelsea to win the Cup. While a United-Chelsea final still possible after they were drawn apart in the quarter-finals, fans would be hoping to avoid a repeat of last season’s tactical deadlock that was decided on one moment of brilliance (and the lack of video replays).

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See, I knew I shouldn’t have said anything about consecutive replay-less rounds.

There were only two FA Cup fifth-round ties to be played on Sunday, and one of them just had to go to a replay.

Sunday’s ties offered up the opportunity for two struggling Championship sides to get a big boost at the expense of top-flight sides, as Preston welcomed Portsmouth to Deepdale, and Sheffield United hosted Middlesbrough at Bramall Lane.

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In today’s football videos roundup we look a some of today’s and yesterday’s