Newcastle United News Archives

Saying goodbye to the football season is very much like giving birth to a ginger child: after nine months of optimism, hope and anguish, you’re left with a genuine feeling of disappointment.

The final day is often emotional. Who could forget Arsenal pipping Liverpool to the title in 1989? Well sadly, my old man. In fact, if you see a small befuddled pensioner roaming the streets, you’ll be better off avoiding football trivia altogether; senility is no picnic.

Read the rest of this entry »

The North East of England is often described as a ‘football hotbed’ – an area that is widely accepted to be rich in the culture, tradition and passion of the beautiful game. Three big clubs, hundreds of thousands of loyal supporters and a breeding ground for talent through the eras, there can’t be many parts of the world that top Tyneside, Wearside and the Tees on the hotbed thermometer ?

Well of course there are. Bobby Charlton, Alan Shearer and Paul Gascoigne apart, how many world class players has the ‘hotbed’ produced ? And how many trophies have their teams won on a national or international stage ?

I know it’s not all about glory and home grown talent, but I can make a case for ten diverse areas on this planet all being bigger hotbeds than the North East (population: 2,515,442):

Read the rest of this entry »

Guess who’s back? That’s right, me and the transfer roundup.

The season’s winding down and the rumors are heating up, so you’ll be seeing me in this space regularly.

Anyway, on to the good stuff!

Read the rest of this entry »

Tubby Brazilian Ronaldo may be one of the greatest players to ever grace a football pitch, but he’s definitely a poor role model. The AC Milan man let himself down when he invited three members of the late-night entertainment industry back to a motel. It wasn’t just the fact that they turned out to be ladyboys; he shamefully offered to pay them for doing nothing. If I pay a builder to construct a conservatory, and he brings along a few superfluous tools, I’d expect him to keep his head down and finish the job.

This sorry tale was not the only case of mistaken identity this week; Rio Ferdinand kicked a female Chelsea steward after mistaking her for a wall. It sounds like a tall story, but I once kicked the wife by accident; I thought she was her mother.

Read the rest of this entry »

According to Forbes.com Manchester United have been valued at $1.8 billion, ahead of the club traditionally known as the richest club in football (Real Madrid, $1.285 billion) and their chief domestic rivals Arsenal ($1.2 billion), Liverpool ($1.05 billion) and Chelsea ($764 million).

Have fun sorting the lists according to different criteria. Here are some highlights:

Read the rest of this entry »

Saturday 26 April 2008 - English Premier League highlights:

Read the rest of this entry »

Saturday’s Premier League game highlights:

Read the rest of this entry »

Soccerlens welcomes odds man Gerry McDonnell for another round of playing offside, general debauchery and betting scams…although there is no evidence to suggest that Gerry McDonnell was involved in a scam, or in fact a scam actually took place, or that he’s actually paying for exclusive access to Lindsay Lohan.

I do enjoy a moral dilemma. An intellectual friend asked if I would kill a chicken to save a chicken’s life. I honestly replied that I’d happily slaughter a chicken if I missed breakfast.

He went on to ask if I would ever use inside information to profit from gambling. I once again answered in all honesty that I have never been involved in such a practice; but then again, I don’t know Harry Redknapp.

There is still uproar amongst the betting community whenever the controversial ‘next Portsmouth manager’ market is discussed. I must point out that there is no evidence to suggest that Harry Redknapp was involved in a scam, or in fact that a scam actually took place. I will just say that the 11/4 for a Newcastle win over Portsmouth should be investigated further.

Read the rest of this entry »

Heard a rumour the other day that Thierry Henry might be moving away from Barcelona after just one season. Henry’s name may not be synonymous with loyalty for most fans but why would he pack up and leave so quickly when he’s taken so much time to get settled in?

And then I heard that he would be coming back to England. Not to Arsenal, because that story has ended, but perhaps to Chelsea or some other big club. But the rumours didn’t stop there. Now we’re hearing that Henry could move to another London club, namely Tottenham, to be close to his daughter. Not far behind are the rumours linking Henry to Newcastle United and Manchester City, the former getting over-excited whenever their club strings a couple of wins in a row and the later already dreaming about next season and that big big big signing that Shinawatra has promised them.

Speculation can be fun, but this one is absurd.

Read the rest of this entry »

All the goals from 5-6 April 08 English Premier League games:

Read the rest of this entry »

Sunderland effectively ensured they will be playing Premier League football again next season with an impressive 3-1 win at Fulham, who will now need a most unlikely turnaround in their form and fortunes to avoid relegation.

Sunderland (13th) are now 10 points clear of Bolton (18th) and with 5 games to go, it’s hard to see Sunderland fall behind either Bolton or Fulham (19th and 12 points behind).

Read the rest of this entry »

What will it take to fix the mess at Newcastle United? 100m? 50m? 200m?

Unless Ashley pulls an Abramovich and Keegan turns into a pleasant version of Jose Mourinho, things aren’t going to change overnight at St James’ Park. Keegan will first have to convince players to come play for Newcastle United, which, to be fair to all sides, doesn’t automatically offer a chance to win titles. This holds Newcastle back in the sense that they can’t bring the likes of David Villa to the club - someone who will score 30 goals each season and give them some sort of hope.

Read the rest of this entry »

The inimitable (we’re running out of adjectives) betting expert Gerry McDonnell gives his take on this weekend’s FA Cup action, Premier League action and all the other action he loves watching on the telly.

The adult film industry has many knockers, but I remain a fully-fledged supporter. My only possible critique would be that the storylines occasionally lack realism. I can’t begin to tell you how disappointed I was with my job as a photocopier repair man.

My wife is a fierce critic of the genre as she incorrectly believes that the art form demeans women. Personally, I think it’s a positive when a hobby becomes an occupation; I would love to get paid for sending nude photographs of myself to Cheryl Tweedy. I’ll have to finance my pastime by backing Portsmouth at 10/11 to beat West Brom in their FA Cup semi-final.

My favourite sub-genre of the adult entertainment industry is the one when two ladies take a spiritual road to self-discovery. There are things I’d rather not see though, and watching Barnsley play Cardiff is the equivalent of watching Lisa Riley tinker with Jade Goody. Cardiff will probably win their semi at 11/8, but I’d rather watch something a little more uplifting.

Read the rest of this entry »

Laurent Robert has signed for Major League Soccer side Toronto, after his contract at Derby was cancelled by mutual consent.

The French winger was one of several players signed by Paul Jewell during the January transfer window, but made just three appearances.

Robert, 32, played under current Toronto coach John Carver at Newcastle.

Carver said: “I’ve spent a lot of time with Laurent and know about his game. He’ll be a big asset to the team.”

Robert, who also played for Portsmouth, has not started a game since early February.

But Toronto general manager Mo Johnston, the former Celtic, Rangers and Scotland striker, said: “We are thrilled to have Laurent join Toronto FC and become part of our club.

“He’s a tremendous player with a lot of talent, and we expect him to come in and make an impact with our club straight away.”

Reports both Newcastle United and Liverpool are interested in signing Tottenham’s Aaron Lennon.

For starters, I don’t see why Ramos would want to sell Lennon - it’s not like Tottenham need the money, it’s not like Lennon is going to fetch too much money, and it’s hard to see Ramos replacing someone like Lennon when there so much more to fix elsewhere in the squad.

Read the rest of this entry »

The Premier League have slapped a 20 point penalty on Newcastle United, condemning them to certain relegation this season.

The huge penalty leaves Newcastle United with a paltry 15 points in the season, ahead of Derby but well behind the likes of Bolton, Fulham and Birmingham, and with 6 games to go, Newcastle look certain to be sucked into and destroyed by the cruel vortex that is the relegation battle.

The reasons for this penalty are not clear - insider sources have claimed that it has to do with financial irregularities in Mike Ashley’s takeover, although the Premier League itself has maintained a different tune all along.

Read the rest of this entry »

Kevin Keegan, in the heady aftermath of Newcastle’s 4-1 win away to Tottenham, has said that if Newcastle keep up their momentum they have a chance to finish in the top 10. Newcastle are 4 points behind Tottenham and 9 behind West Ham, and with 6 games to go (and with Newcastle still to play West Ham, albeit at Upton Park).

Keegan:

“We’re starting to look up now. There is a chance we can catch Spurs and one or two others who get stuck in that middle area where there is not a lot to play for other than pride.”

In some ways this is a smart move by Keegan - he knows his players have failed this season and he knows that they are better than the points table suggests - and if he can get them to play for pride and build up momentum, there’s a chance that they might just overtake Tottenham, if not West Ham.

On the other hand, it’s optimistic and Keegan is bound to get some flak for it.

Let’s look at the fixtures and see what’s possible:

Read the rest of this entry »

All Premier League highlights for Sunday 30 March 2008:

Read the rest of this entry »

Newcastle came back from a goal down to beat Tottenham at White Hart Lane four goals to one. Both team started with 3 strikers up front but it was Newcastle who made it count in the end, taking their chances and surging to a comfortable win.

The result leaves Newcastle only 4 points behind Tottenham in 12th place and a comfortable 9 points ahead of the relegation zone. If Newcastle can keep up this little run, they’ll have some cause for optimism although any such optimism needs to be tempered with the hard reality of the mountain of work needed to turn things around at St James Park.

Tottenham? Well, they’ve qualified for Europe through the League Cup and they seem to have given up in the league this season, and like that Birmingham City game, they’ve lost another game that they should have won, at least on paper. Ramos will not be happy with these inexplicable spineless performances - it’s days like these that cost Tottenham a Champions League spot two years straight and Jol his job.

But what a game

Gerry McDonnell returns with his weekly betting column on the English Premier League.

Marriage is like a chicken vindaloo, it’s something you have to try at least once, even though you know you’ll later regret it.

I experienced my seven-year itch quite early, it was on the honeymoon. Fortunately, my wandering eye didn’t lead to an act of betrayal, although I put that down to the fact that the barmaid was almost certainly a button-flicker.

Read the rest of this entry »

SX Valor

Following on from the launch of the SX Flare boot, Umbro have now released an ‘England‘ edition of the SX Flare and SX Valor. If you watch the television closely tonight, you’ll see John Terry wearing the Valor and Michael Owen wearing the Flare, as England take on France in the Stade de France in Paris.

Will ‘the perfect boot for today’s fast paced game’ keep France out at one end and score the goals for England at the other? We’ll have to wait and see.

I have not approached John Terry for a quote about the boots as he would no doubt claim to be busy!

Football boot manufacturers Umbro have launched a brand new boot. The SX Flare is described by the manufacturers as “The perfect boot for today’s fast paced game”.

Top stars who are wearing the boot include Newcastle and England striker Michael Owen, Everton and Australia star Tim Cahill and Rangers and Scotland captain Barry Ferguson.

Umbro tell us that the boot has been designed using innovative Michelin technology. I thought about writing that the players will have to tread carefully and avoid getting too tyred, but decided against it!

Read the rest of this entry »

Gerry McDonnell returns with his weekly betting column on the English Premier League.

Even though I was brought up as a Catholic, I have never followed a spiritual path. I blame an over-zealous Priest for my descent into heresy; he was constantly on my back when I was young.

If my memory serves me correctly, Easter is a time to reflect upon the resurrection of Christ. It’s believed that after three days, He rose again. I don’t want to diminish the significance, but I’d fancy Pele to beat that. The Geordies believe that King Keegan is the one true Messiah; it would be sacrilegious not to back Newcastle at 10/11 against Fulham.

Jesus may have forgiven Robbie Keane for his petulant reaction to being substituted last weekend, but Juande Ramos was apoplectic. I have a lot of sympathy for Keane in this case; it’s an emotional time when you’re being pulled off. I’ll happily play with the even money for a Tottenham win over Portsmouth.

Read the rest of this entry »

For one reason or another, this season has seen a number of long-suffering back-up goalkeepers finally venturing into the first eleven on a regular basis.

Almunia at Arsenal has at long last cast off the albatross of Mad Jens Lehmann from around his neck, leaving Lehmann to vilipend and gnash his teeth together like Muttley from Wacky Races – to the chagrin of Arsene Wenger, but to the utmost amusement of other spectators. Almunia has been one of The Gunners most consistent performers so far this campaign.

Meanwhile, over the last two seasons a goalkeeper who has spent so long glued to the bench that doctors might have pronounced him comatose – Steve Harper – has profited from the injury misfortune of Shay Given to notch up 17 and 11 league performances in 2006-07 and 2007-08 respectively.

This run of games, if it continues, could allow Harper to reach the milestone of 100 games in a Newcastle jersey, spread over some 10 years in the first-team squad, as well as opening the possibility of surpassing the 18 league appearances managed in the 1999-00 season – an impressive record considering the three bareen seasons in the early noughties when Harper did not make a single league appearance.

Read the rest of this entry »

When Joey Barton converted a stoppage time penalty at Fulham on December 15th, Newcastle fans could have been forgiven for thinking their side may well have turned the corner.

After all, they had bounced back from a humiliating home defeat to Liverpool- one that left enduring images of angry fans yelling “You don’t know what you’re doing” at under-fire manager Sam Allardyce for pretty much the entire duration of the second half- to earn a battling point against leaders Arsenal, before following that up with a crucial 2-1 win over Birmingham at St James’ Park, and then only their second away win of the season at Craven Cottage.

Allardyce had seemingly got a message through to his players that they needed to be harder to beat- the importance of which he had stressed since arriving at the club in the summer. They sat in a comfortable mid-table position, only a decent run away from entering the race for the top six, whilst content in the knowledge that even in the event of a dramatic slide, there were “three worse teams than Newcastle” at the other end of the table. In truth there were half a dozen or more, easily.

Read the rest of this entry »

Gerry McDonnell returns with his weekly betting column on the English Premier League.

There’s life in the old dog…unfortunately

Like Wayne Rooney, I’m a lover of the old. I’m never happier than when some wrinkled old seaside-bungalow hogger is regaling me with tales of a bygone age.

If my old man is to be believed, and he’s not, football was completely different in the old days. Goals were celebrated by a handshake, an assault on a goalkeeper was practically encouraged and heading the ball led to a short stay in hospital, which was basically a shed with a sponge.

I’m unsure of the best way of handling the elderly when they reach such a constant state of dull reflection, but only a fool should rule out euthanasia. It looks like Avram Grant will soon be put out of his misery; Sunderland can lend a helping hand at 7/1.

Read the rest of this entry »

Like Martin Luther King and Gandhi, I’m a fan of passive resistance; but there are some things in life that we have to fight for. For me, it’s a baby’s smile, the love of a mute woman or more affordable prices at the petrol pu