I’m a former professional footballer who is now dragging my good name...

I’m a former professional footballer who is now dragging my good name and the game through the mud by being a piss poor pundit – Get me out of here!


For a long time now I’ve been disillusioned by the overt and glittery presentation of our beautiful game on the nations TV channels. From the brash appearance to the distinctly unnecessary taglines (Grand Slam Sunday?! Honestly?!) the game itself has almost become an after thought.

Big games are built up to such an extent that you often feel cheated, sold down the river by the abundance of OTT advertising and hype that dwarf the match it was publicising in the first place.

Sky Sports are obviously the biggest offenders in the case of football vs. theatrical nonsense but that’s not to say the BBC, ITV and Setanta Sports are cleared of any wrong doings either.

All compete to create the biggest showpiece events and in doing so add, ironically, to the disenchantment of fans who feel their game is becoming tainted by ridiculous amounts of money.

And the stars of these over hyped, bloated showpiece events are the players of yesteryear, former professionals paid to analyse games using their wealth of experience in the game.

These puppets unfortunately only serve to add to the pantomime that is modern day football television.

Any sort of experience in the game takes priority over having two brain cells to rub together, though of course this isn’t true in all cases. There are some very good ex pros who lend their understanding and personality very well to punditry.

There are though unfortunately pundits who in many respects have no greater perspective than that of the armchair fan at home.

Moreso than ever, pundits are trying to embrace celebrity as opposed to focusing on the job at hand, for example Alan Hansen and those horrific Morrisons adverts. Alan Hansen himself had a hugely successful career at Liverpool and carries a lot of respect amongst fans for his honest and forthright views but the supermarket ads do remove a level of credibility from his work.

Roy Keane has blasted television pundits for the way they impact the game as a whole, referring specifically to the treatment of Arsene Wenger over the past week:

“Because of the industry now and the way it is, there are knee-jerk reactions and there seems to be a crisis at some sort of club every week. It’s crazy.

“A lot of punters are being brainwashed by what’s real and what’s not real and that gets to the players sometimes.”

A great deal is blown out of proportion by pundits when they second guess situations (and are often wrong), undermine player and managerial positions with their comments and add to fan hysteria at clubs in difficulty.

“There was a debate this week about Arsene Wenger. How crazy is that? What that man’s done for the game – and we’re giving these people air time. I wouldn’t listen to these people in the pub, and yet they’re on television constantly, ex-players, ex-referees getting interviewed giving out their opinions. I wouldn’t trust these people to walk my dog.

“I was asked by ITV to do the Celtic-Man U game but never again unless I fall on hard times. I think I’ve done it once for Sky but I’d rather go to the dentist.

“You’re sitting there with people like Richard Keys and they’re trying to sell something that’s not there. I tell people any time they watch a game to switch the commentators off, don’t listen to experts, gather your own opinion.”

Roy has hit the nail on the head with his comments this past week.

Arsene Wenger’s position has never been under threat and despite the teams inconsistency the club are still in a great position to press on for honours this season.

The backlash against Wenger following the Stoke game was really unjustified when you consider, as Keane did, the input the Frenchman has had on our game. As such, pundits are happy to stick the knife in when things aren’t going so well but are more than happy to praise the same man/team struggling not long before.

Since the defeats of Manchester United and Wigan, Arsene and Arsenal are the highlight of Sky Sports News and this only a week after his future in the job and title credentials were being dismissed.

All quite illogical and hence why the majority of pundits and their opinions only pass me by.

Here then, in my opinion, are the biggest offending football pundits on TV today and why:

1. Jamie Redknapp: Former floppy haired spice boy Redknapp was poached by Sky Sports not long into the start of his punditry career at the BBC. Whilst you cannot fault the enthusiasm of the ex Liverpool and Spurs midfielder, his drawn out tirades often serve only to portray him as over excited and rather directionless. Add a chronic misunderstanding of the word ‘literally’ and you have a recipe for frustration. Literally.

2. Paul Merson: Now, don’t get me wrong Paul Merson the player I adored. Somebody who has overcome adversity in the form of his addictive gambling and drug habits and continued playing at the highest level deserves a lot of credit. That said, great pundit this man will never be. A bumbling and ungainly presence in front of the TV cameras, Merson provides laughs, albeit often for the wrong reasons:

“The big oxygen thing is out for Benni McCarthy … he’s got a lot of medical round him.”

3. Garth Crooks: A Football Focus regular for the BBC, Crooks takes the crown for being the most conceited, narcissistic and uptight of the punditry world today. A former Spurs, Charlton and West Brom striker, Crooks holds his own opinion in far greater regard than anyone else. His mannerisms serve only to attract more derision, with a holier than thou attitude and delivery befitting someone who once was rumoured to be running for a seat in parliament. I personally wish he had gone for it – would’ve made Final Score a lot more bearable on Saturday evenings.

4. Andy Gray: Andy Gray is probably the best analyst in the country. Always concise, wonderfully eloquent and with passion to spare, he and Tyler provide the best commentary pairing in the country. So why is he so annoying? Andy Gray has started to believe his own hype. From the cringe worthy repetition of “take a boo son” and his vociferous defence of Javier Mascherano at Old Trafford last season, proclaiming the referee had bottled it, when the world and his wife could see what the Liverpool man had done wrong. Andy Gray has perfected the art of second guessing the referee and in doing so has cheapened his image and blunted his opinion.

5. David Pleat: – I hope for ITV’s sake that this man isn’t being paid. If they are I imagine its in crowns and shillings, as a reflection of the era in which Pleat was last of any use. Constantly mispronouncing names or getting them wrong all together and using archaic terminologies are all staple features of Pleats. In fact its safe to say there isn’t a more infuriating commentator in the game:

“We are now in the middle of the centre of the first half.”

There is however a solution to the nonsensical mumblings of the old man of punditry. Its called the mute button.

This is the tip of what is a large iceberg but who do you consider to be the worst pundit in the game? Is it a pair or a team? A presenter (Colin Murray??!!!) or a specific program’s format

08-09 Carling Cup Quarterfinal Draw: Watford v Tottenham, Burnley v Arsenal, Manchester United v Blackburn and Stoke v Derby
Arsenal v Manchester United: Lies, Damn Lies and Statistics


  1. How is Steve Mcmanaman not on this list?, seriously, I think he’s job description is “be as much like Jamie Redkanpp as possible”, only he’s not doing a great job at that, so he’s a bad copy of only a half decent pundit to begin with.

  2. Agree totally on Crooks. Way to uptight and has no idea how to be himself. Pleat is a joke. I like Hansen and Gray.
    At the end of the day it’s showbiz now and like other types of the genre there are many idiots and hangers on who get way too much airtime.

  3. Andy Gray didnt think the ref bottled it he just said that because he knows how many Liverpool fans complain about his bias towards man u and against Liverpool so he knew it would be wise to stick up for Liverpool for once in a controversial decision.

    The sky sports news panel really annoys me they all think that just because a diehard Liverpool man Phil Thomo is there then it gives them a free pass to laugh at Liverpool every time something goes wrong for us

    Eamon Dunphy is the biggest joke on television, he loves the camera doesnt he? he is the reason i stopped watching football on rte a long time ago.

  4. I couldn’t agree more about Crooks and Pleat, they make me cringe as soon as I hear them speak. I’m also surprised that John Barnes doesn’t make the list but guess this is because he is no longer presenting.

    It’s unfortunate that tv companies seem to believe that being an ex-player/manager will instantly make for an excellent pundit and then fail to realize that they’re far from it.

  5. This is only my list, I’d love to hear who and why you’d consider to be the worst pundits out there.

    What are your own top 5s even?

  6. I like Hansen and I don’t think Redknapp is too bad. Like you, I sort of admire Andy Gray but his constant criticism of referees whether they are right or wrong is getting a bit tiresome.

    David Pleat, Garth Crooks, Paul Merson, David Platt and John Solako are my top (worst) five.

  7. Your article was copied onto the Liverpool offical forums idk whether you find that offending or flattering

  8. what has been said about Crooks can also be said about Jonathon Pearce.
    top 5
    5)Paul Merson
    4)John Barnes
    3)David Pleat
    2)Jonathon Pearce
    1)Garth Crooks
    Special mention for Glenn Hoddle who for 90 mins pronounced Henry ‘Onray’

  9. I think Pearce is a great commentator – even on MOTD where only a few minutes of highlights are shown he is able to flavour telling you what is happening with a bit of background. He seems to have a real knowledge of what every club and the mindset of the fans which just makes listening to him that much more appealing – I would learn more from one of his solo commentaries than Motson and Lawro combined.

    Anyway onto pundits, two I don’t like…

    1. Garth Crooks – must be so hard to work with, no wonder Peacock went off to become a priest, he must have had some patience to put up with him!

    2. Alan Shearer – he has improved ever so slightly this season but he is so cliche-ridden and doesn’t tell you anything you can’t figure out yourself by just watching.

    And two I love…

    1. Lee Dixon – I think he’d make a far better manager than Tony Adams because not only doesn’t he take himself so seriously but he also has an amazing tactical knowledge. You can also tell that, while Hansen costs on his reputation, Dixon has worked really hard to get so good, so fast and must spend a lot of time studying footage before MOTD2.

    2. Stan Collymore – I don’t think his tactical knowledge is as good as Dixon’s but he is another who puts in a lot of research and unlike 95% of sports radio shows he knows his Football League stuff which means he actually allows fans from outside of the Big Four/Newcastle/Tottenham on air so that they feel catered for. He is also pretty entertaining too and is good at ridiculing people who make stupid points.

  10. Well Luke, David Platt speaks with an attitude that he knows so much better than managers, yet he was a total disaster as a manager himself.

    As for John Salako, a little like Paul Merson, he struggles to put a coherent sentence together. At least Merse is funny, Salako hasn’t even got that!

    I think Jonathon Pearce has got a lot better over the years. He used to be very excitable but he’s calmer now.

  11. 1. Alan Shearer. “Great cross, great header, great goal”. Well thanks, Alan, that’s great. What insight…

  12. i totally agree haha =] especially about david pleat! god when they made him arsenal’s commentator for the champions league last year i wanted to kill myself O.o.. oh its emomom adaybayee with the header! oh and hes scored. and im a dirty yid ****

  13. What about Jamie Redknapp’s constant references to Frank Lampard?
    There was a game live on Sky last season which did not involve Chelsea….He took 13 seconds to Mention ‘cousin Frank’. I kid you not.

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