Fabio Capello Saddles Jack Wilshere With The ‘F’ Bomb

Fabio Capello Saddles Jack Wilshere With The ‘F’ Bomb


The nation mourned when Emile Heskey retired from international football last year, and rightly so -for England knew that what stretched out before them was what adulterous husbands tend to refer to as a ‘transitional period’ when the kids finally ask why Mummy hasn’t been home in nearly three weeks.

Forgive me. I ramble, for it still hurts.

The sporting sorrow that engulfed the land was tangible. As a footballing entity, we were left to repatriate our faith.

It was time to choose a new hero, but decide we could not – there were no more Heskey’s left to pick up and carry the outbound original’s weighty mantle.

The obvious candidate was one Wayne Rooney, though he was quickly found out as being the sweaty pink hod-carrier that he really is.

Next came the spry figure of young Theo Walcott, though the spring-heeled Arsenal babe seems fated to see out his career stuck firmly in ‘excited puppy in a waxed hallway’ mode.

Since that fateful day (15th July, 2010) England have been cast adrift on an ocean of apathy, lost without a messianic saviour to root out, burden accordingly, then crush into unidentifiable vegetable matter through the chrome-plated grille of the nation’s monolithically self-important footballing garlic press.

That was until today.

Fabio Capello has lauded Wilshere as England's new saviour

Step forward, 19-year-old Jack Wilshere, who, according to manager Fabio Capello, is to be groomed (starting with England’s friendly against Denmark on February 9th) into the national side’s ‘Claude Makelele’ – only better.

Capello told the Daily Telegraph:

“Wilshere will be one of the new players [to play against Denmark). I’ve monitored him for five months and he has improved a lot.

I want to try to put him in this position in front of the defence. He is mature enough to play this role.

Wilshere is better technically than Makelele, though Makelele was faster. When he receives the ball, Wilshere is more dangerous than Makelele.”

Capello continued, making damn sure that he slung the dreaded ‘F’ word around Wilshere’s adolescent neck like some kind of albatross-feather yoke:

“Wilshere is the best new young player and playing all the time with Arsenal.

If you play with Arsenal, you are a really good player. Wenger likes the good player.

It is important for Wilshere to understand that he will be the future.”

Got that? Wilshere is a slower-though-several-times-better-despite-being-nearly-two-decades-younger player than Makelele (y’know, of the ‘Makelele role’ fame?) ever was and ever will be.

And,  just for the record, he’s also the best young player out there.

Roll on 2012.

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  1. why the hate? he HAS been playing rather well, but that’s because Arsenal have a fast fluid midfield and style of play, not the over-eratic punt-ball sluggish style of the English team.

  2. Jack is that good. He’s not really like Makelele though. He’s not really like any player. He plays very deep in the midfield and can carry the ball extremely well. Despite his size and possible lack of pace, he can take any player on because his dribbling is so accurate. You cannot take the ball from him. His passing range is amazing and usually falls perfectly into a players stride. It’s hard to pinpoint exactly what his role is but he is very tidy and certainly not a luxury player.

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