In this week’s WagSnatch Roundup, the mythical creature that is a gay footballer exists, Coleen and Wayne snap a Ł2.5 million deal, Rooney’s family banned from celebrations, Beckham on a diet, Victoria has some dedicated fans, Beckhams have another performer in the family, Defoe back with Charlotte, while Danielle Lloyd insures her booty to Ł2 million and last but not least does Ashley Cole still has a wife?

Guti snapped – with another man

The biggest scandal of last week by far was the revelation that gay footballers actually exist.

Real Madrid footballer Guti was snapped by Spanish tabloid Cuore outside a restaurant snogging another man. Which would not be much of a problem were it not for the fact Guti is married and has 2 children.

Now Guti’s wife TV presenter Arancha de Benito is “taking a break” from the marriage, Spanish are in a titz and another myth has finally been shattered. It is not all prostitutes, orgies and wannabe WAGs some footballers do like to get in touch with ahem their masculine side.

Rooney just got richer

It seems Coleen McLoughlin has managed to pull off a deal of the century. And here I was thinking she was some daft WAG. Coleen and Wayne Rooney have sold exclusive rights for the coverage of their wedding this summer for the sum of Ł2.5 million. If you were wondering not even Posh and Becks got that much.

Does it seem a bit steep? One would think so, but the publishing honchos that have managed to outbid the competition are said to be ecstatic as they plan to make twice as much money from TV and magazine sales around the world. Hmm surely Posh and Becks would have fetched more.

Be as it may, it is not as if Coleen and her husband-to-be are forced to live on the budget. Rooney is making Ł100.000 per week, while Coleen has managed to make a brand of herself with her books, perfumes and a deal with Asda.

The money will be used to cover the wedding cost and top notch security to make sure their celebrity pals will be able to enjoy themselves without ordinary plebs and gatecrashers ruining their special day.

No invitation for the Rooney’s family

And speaking of Rooney wedding, the bride to be is putting her foot down when it comes to the guest list. Only Rooney’s parents and siblings are invited, while the rest of Rooney’s extend family will not be getting the invite. And it has caused quite a titz as many of Rooney’s relatives have stated they would not go even if they were invited. Hmm right.

Now I would be the first to dismiss this as snooty behavior on Coleen’s part, however when I read about Wayne’s extended family, I kind of get it why she put her foot down. Rooney’s cousin Natalie flashed everyone at Coleen’s 21st birthday party and promised to strip if she was invited to the wedding (and she still wonders why she is not invited). Rooney’s other cousin Stephen, who is a gay transvestite offered his services as a bridesmaid.

Can you imagine? It would be like something out of Jerry Springer. Come to think of it, it would make for a wonderful reality show/mockumentary. And there is a lot of money in that.

Jermain Defoe bounces back to Charlotte

We all know Jermain Defoe has been exposed a cheating rat. But the man is unstoppable.

Just days after he has split up with Danielle Lloyd for umpteenth time Defoe has been snapped with his ex-fiancé Charlotte Mears. Danielle moved out after less then 2 months of domestic bliss with Defoe.

So Defoe obviously fancied a night out and who showed up (quite by chance I’m sure) but the all new and improved (read cosmetically enhanced) Charlotte.

And just last month Charlotte was waffling on about how cut up she was after they broke up. Although for the life of me I do not understand what does feeling cut up have to do with the fact she had to downgrade from Range Rover to Hyunadi.

Charlotte does have a new pair of breasts, she might as well put them to good use and we all know how fond Jermain is of big bras.

Danielle Lloyd comes with an insurance policy

It should not surprise anyone that just days after Jermain Defoe was snapped with his ex flame Daily Star was informed by a “source” that Danielle Lloyd has insured her body for a whopping Ł2 million. Danielle was quoted as saying “My figure is my fortune, so taking out insurance seemed like the sensible thing to do, just in case anything happens.”

She is trying to pass it off as being sensible, but somehow I see it as a giant V (the hand gesture, I’d rather use that as I do not want to come off as crude) to Jermain. If I was into new age I’d say she is trying to boost her self-worth and what better way then Ł2 million insurance policy.

Be as it may, one thing I am sure of Danielle Lloyd will find a replacement footballer in no time. I give it 2 weeks before she is snapped with someone else.

Beckhams have a new performer in the family

And to get away from the footballers and their shenanigans the Beckham family has a new star and its their 3-year old Cruz.

At the recent Spice Girls concert in New York (probably in an attempt to squash the rumors of squabbling) the Spice Girls dragged their kids on stage to show them to their fans. What they did not bank on was little Cruz having a performance of his own.

Under Posh’s astonished gaze and to the growing cheers of the audience Cruz did a little breakdance routine of his own. And I have to say it was quite impressive and nifty when you consider the boy is just 3 years old. Or maybe he picked it up when hanging out with Snoop’s kids.

And for once the Spice Girls were not only caught off guard but full of praise for the little show stealer.

Gerri wrote on the Spice Girls blog “Victoria’s son Cruz was a little star…We all had our children up on stage tonight and Cruz started break dancing! How cool is that? It’s clearly in the family.”

Now she almost had me there, but when she started waffling on how Statue of Liberty has Girl power, well pardon me while I barf, no wonder they squabble constantly you’d have to have nerves of steel to put up with that nonsense.

No more burgers for Becks

More news from the Beckham camp, old Golenballs is on a new diet regiment. And who else would be behind this idea then the skeletal Posh. Honestly I do not know what is wrong with this woman (eating disorder anyone?)

She wants old Goldenballs to cut down on burgers and steaks and chow down on Japanese food, cutting meat altogether. It is one thing to change eating habits if you want to be more healthy, but it is not as if she has a lard arse of a husband. Goldenballs might be getting on in years but he is still pretty fit and in tip top shape. For heaven’s sake if a man wants a burger from time to time, let him have a burger.

Posh’s loyal following

I have heard of fan dedication, but this takes the biscuit altogether.

Old Posh was in Chicago promoting her line of clothes and other whatnots when her most devoted (and I use the term loosely) fan showed up. The woman proceeded to lift her blouse to reveal a small tattoo of Posh’s signature on her back.

Allegedly Posh was flattered and shocked (read freaked out) by the fan’s gesture. Somehow I would understand if she had Goldenballs’ autograph permanently etched on her back, but Posh’s? Heavens why would you do that? Sure it is fine for Goldenballs, he is married to her so we can understand his reasons, but this is just incomprehensible to me.

Will Ashley Cole get another chance?

And the soap opera that is the Cole’s marriage continues. As reported last week Cheryl Cole flew to Thailand to have a break and decide if she is going to stay a WAG or kick Ashley’s arse to the curb.

Some sources claimed the ever confident Ashley was sure he could win her back. It should not come as a surprise that a few days later Cheryl was snapped having a ball in LA with her band mates, looking stunning as ever – without her wedding ring. Silly, silly Ashley did he think Cheryl would not read about his cockiness in tabloids?

Be as it may, the latest news in this saga is that after almost of a month of soul searching Cheryl has finally decided what she is going to do. She has decided to forgive her philandering husband and give him one more chance. If it is true, Ashley is one lucky man to get off after so many of his conquests have come out of the woodwork. But will another chance put a stop to his wandering eye I wonder?