In today’s WagSnatch Roundup – is the Cole soap opera FINALLY over, Goldenballs gets chummy on LA Galaxy tour, Posh in a deal for a new reality show, Goldenballs sister celebrates her birthday (without a cat fight this time), Danielle Lloyd says no to footballers, new craze among the WAGs, Rooney likes to float and a bit of a sad news to wrap it all up.

Is the Cole soap opera finally over?

Cheryl Cole has finally made up her mind and decided to take Ashley back. Well at least thats the story this week.

Although she immediately flew back to LA after the last week’s Brits and she has been spotted without her wedding ring, it seems Cheryl Cole either loves the bugger or cannot picture herself not being a WAG.

But far be it for us to think she is a big softie rather then a chav at heart, Cheryl is laying down the law.

Ashley will have to give her an hour by hour itinerary for his daily activities, keep his mobile on at all times when she is not with him, apologize to her family, stop socializing with friends Cheryl considers to be a bad influence and agree to couple’s counseling.

Given, the rat has cheated on her more then once (and with such slappers which probably makes it even worse) but seems to me it would be just easier to microchip him rather then supervise his activities like that.

Be as it may, Ashley Cole will have plenty of groveling to do. But will it last I wonder?

Goldenballs on tour with LA Galaxy

La Galaxy is on tour and you know what that means - plenty of snaps of Goldenballs. However some of these might not make Ms Goldenballs very happy.

First stop Shanghai, where Goldenballs spent hours chatting to the kiddies that suffer from leukemia at the Xinhua Hospital. Just look at that - the kids love him.Posh would approve.

However old Goldenballs let his hair down (sort to speak) in Seoul, when him and his teammates went for a night out on the tiles. Goldenballs was chatting to a group of girls, while an unknown blond got a bit too familiar and managed to snatch a hug. At least this one did not faint. Posh would not approve.

But what I find a bit funny, the report said Goldenballs was drinking whiskey. I don’t know about you but I always figured Goldenballs would be the type for one of those poncy beers or some type of a complicated drink. Not straight up whiskey. How un-metrosexual of him.

Posh makes over America?

Meanwhile, old Ms Goldenballs is keeping busy herself. After the success of Gordon Ramsey’s Kitchen Nightmares, Fox network is eager to expand the format and do something in the similar vein.

Rumors have it that Posh has been approached to host a show called Fashion Nightmares.

Posh would travel across America and spread some of her British chic and glamor on the rural folk.

Well one thing she ain’t and that’s Gordon Ramsay, after all rare few have such a foul mouth.

And truth be told, I just do not see it. Posh is far too well posh; do you see her in some backwater in the States? It would be worse then when Paris Hilton did it.

Plus, some rumors have it she might be expecting for the 4th time. Posh was snapped leaving the gyno’s office at Beverly Hills medical center. Given, I would be worried if these rumors did not circulate every few months and the woman might have just went for a regular check-up but still Posh being preggers could present a predicament for her imminent reality show career.

Jermain Defoe likes a bit of a Giggle

Another one of Jermain Defoe’s conquests has come forward. And her name is – I kid you not – Sarah Giggle. Truth be told, I cannot say if she changed her name to make it more interesting, but still she could have picked a better last name then Giggle. Anyhow.

Jermain picked up Giggle at a fetish party (now I have been to one of those and although I am not the squeamish kind it was a bit too much for my stomach) but it seems Jermain was not put off. He kept sending text messages (too rude to repeat) until Giggle finally succumbed to his charms.

What woman would not if you consider his seduction technique is to wander around starkers with just a condom on? Not as charming as Anderson’s Fuck, fuck, fuck line, but there you have it.

Of course Danielle Lloyd sent him a flurry of text messages while this has been going on and later on Giggle called old Danny and informed her what happened. Not long after, Danny dumped Jermain’s arse. Ah well.

But this leaves Jermain with a bit of a predicament. Soon enough he will not be able to go out for the fear of running into his old flames, all in the same place at the same time. It has happened already, the only person missing was Danielle Lloyd.

Danielle Lloyd will not date a footballer ever again

And speaking of Danielle Lloyd, after she has insured her booty for Ł2 million last week she also splashed out on a Ł145.000 Bentley convertible. It seems unlike Charlotte Mears she does not have to downgrade to Hyundai when she stops dating a footballer.

But as I have predicted last week it was a matter of days before Danny was snapped with someone else. Not even I could predict but her latest squeeze does seem a bit camera shy (bless), while Danny is milking it for what it worth. But I could not predict Danielle Lloyd of all WAGs and WAG wannabes will decide not to date any footballers anymore. As she delightfully put it:

“No more footballers. I can’t say why - you’d have to bleep everything out.”

Yeah, right like that would stop her.

Goldenballs sister parties with footballers

On the other hand, while Danielle Lloyd has vowed to be off footballers Goldenballs sister seems adamant to bag herself one. Now that is a WAG wannabe if I have ever seen one.

Joanne Beckham celebrated her 26th birthday last week, but her brother did not make an appearance. Goldenballs did buy her a Ł5000 dress. Very nice of him, but me thinks his PA did not consult Posh before making the purchase, because the dress looks God awful hideous.

Anyhow, since Goldenballs is off on his tour, there was not many of the Premiere League types at Joanna’s bash.

But Jermain Defoe did turn up which must have made Joanna gloat with glee. After all just last week she and Danielle Lloyd had that infamous cat fight and over who else could it be? That Jermain sure does get around. But if Joanna Beckham is counting on Defoe to make her a WAG, she might have to stand in line.

A new craze among the WAGs?

Of all the things this is the last thing I thought I would see. WAGs are getting into budget buys. Honestly. And not just any WAGs but WAGs extraordinare.

Alex Curran (who lugs around handbags worth thousands of pounds) has been snapped with shopping bags from Primark and Top Shop.

Meanwhile Posh has been snapped at American store Target buying discount toys. In fact she bought so many toys, her bodyguard had to help her lug it all to the car.

Hm what is going on? Ok given Posh does not eat very much (if anything at all) so we can ascribe this to simple starvation. But Alex Curran whose wardrobe’s worth could fund national debt of a small country remains a bit of a mystery. Maybe that cat fight last week addled with her brain or something.

Rooney likes to float

That Coleen McLoughlin is a cunning one. Not only she managed to bag a Ł2.5 million wedding rights deal, but also she seems to be behind Rooney’s quick mend after the ankle injury.

Following the suggestions of his future missus, Rooney has installed a Ł4000 water pod. Well it is a flotation tank really. So Rooney floats for 10 hours each week.

I am a bit surprised he has even agreed to such a thing, but it seems a bit of pampering is doing wonders for Rooney and more importantly his injuries.

It seems all that floating worked as Rooney returned to the pitch a few weeks earlier then expected.

Hey, if it works…

Abbey Clancy says no

Well boys now for some sad news – Abbey Clancy is saying no to lingerie modeling. Oh yes.

The delightful Abbey and Peter Crouch are so in love, she does not want to leave him to go to States and work on her modeling career.

Abbey said: “I had a really big decision to make — whether to stay in Liverpool or enhance my modeling career in LA. Obviously I really love modeling and I’d love to make it big. But it’s not a decision which can be made overnight and my life is fulfilled with my relationship — my modeling career is a bonus.”

And there you have it. I am afraid I do not know does this mean she will also say no to lingerie shoots in Britain (now that would seem a bit silly), but when I do find out I will let you know. So do not be down in the dumps, you know these WAGs they change their opinions the same rate they change their outfits - a few times a day, so all is not lost.