Feb
7
2008

WAGSnatch Roundup: Ronaldo on £140k / week, Anelka and Rooney pull, and England’s crappiest fans

Coleen Mcloughlin - Wayne Rooney

In today’s WAGSnatch Roundup - times are changing for the England squad with a new WAG ban imposed, Ronaldo becomes the highest paid footballer in the Premier League, Chelsea’s Anelka is the latest footballer exposed for his cheating ways while Rooney’s little brother has an unusual pulling technique. And lets not forget Loaded’s poll and Prawn awards - who are England’s crappiest football fans?

New WAG ban imposed

And if you need any proof that times are changing for England, just consider Capello’s strict new WAG ban. Obviously McClaren was quite lax on that particular issue but Capello is not messing about. Since the contact with the players has been strictly verboten what do the WAGs do? Go for a holiday of course.

Wayne Rooney’s missus-to-be Collen McLoughlin is splashing it up in Barbados, while Alex Curran decided to jet off to Dubai and enjoy a private villa that comes with a amenity most of us can only dream of – a personal butler. Wouldn’t it be lovely if you could have your own Jeeves? Well it must be the WAG logic if they cannot share the spotlight surely they can spend some money instead. And have a holiday.

Ronaldo scores big

And lets not forget the biggest deal in the British football history – Ronaldo’s £44 million for 6 years with Manchester United. That makes him the highest paid footballer in the Premier League or equals to a staggering £140.000 per week. Lord can you imagine what you could do with all that money? The ever helpful reporters of News of the World have calculated that would make for 900 prostitutes each week. Well each to his own I guess.

The only notable purchase so far has been a new £4 million home. I’m sure his mum will get something as well, after all it seems her preference for Real Madrid could not be ignored by Manchester United bosses. Well that and the fact Ronaldo managed to score 27 goals in 28 matches. As far as prostitutes go, well watch this space.

Rooney’s little brother has an unusual pulling technique

He is only 19, but boy you have to admire the sheer cheek. And the gullibility of the girls he pulls. He is more cunning then Baldrick of Blackadder. And his name is Graham Rooney. As in Wayne Rooney’s little brother.

It seems little Rooney is taking advantage of his brother’s debatable looks and his undisputed fame and pulling the birds by introducing himself as his older brother.

He even made it into a double act with his pal who looks like Theo Walcott. That’s handy isn’t it? Although his shenanigans have caught up with him as phone footage of him having sex with one of the duped girls is doing the rounds, I don’t think young Rooney will abandon his tactics any time soon. Lets face it, it seems it works like a charm. I would find it completely abhorring, however any woman who decidedly goes out to pull a footballer is not without blemish, so if she ends up being ahem serviced by a look-alike - well that’s life for you, isn’t it?

Chelsea’s Anelka exposed as a rat

Another rat has been exposed and this time its Chelsea’s Nicolas Anelka. It is getting a bit passé don’t you think? I would not be surprised if footballers (or to be more exact their lawyers) do not come up with some sort of shagging confidentiality agreement in the future – instead of the condom, they will pull out a contract out of the pocket in a bid to protect themselves. From the media rats that is, not STD.

But I digress. The story is almost identical to all the others, Anelka met this shop girl, shagged her (although allegedly his performance was up the par unlike Cole’s). The only other twists worth noting are that he took a pic of his penis and send it over (I guess for her to see what she’s missing?). And the fact that after the shop girl found out Anelka got married he said it was his brother who got married, not him. Someone should tell Anelka the point of the lie is to be believable, not obvious.

The crappiest football fans?

Loaded crappiest football fans survey has come up with the results of this year’s Prawn awards. I’m afraid I am not competent enough to comment so check out the list and have your say, true or complete bollocks?

Worst Home Fans – Bolton Wanderers

Worst Away Fans – Fulham

Worst Songs – Everton

Most Corporate Fans – Arsenal

Biggest Away-day Disappointment – Manchester United

Biggest Egos – Tottenham Hotspur

Biggest Whingers – Wolverhampton Wanderers

Who do you think has the worst fans?

50 Hottest Women Of Sports

A shout out to our friends over at PopCrunch who have put up the 50 hottest Women of Sports. Notable (footy-related) inclusions:

#6 - Daniela Cicarelli - Cristiano Ronaldo ex
#20 - Amy Taylor - Aussie - this gal needs no introduction to SL readers…
#14 - Elisabetta Canalis - Christian Vieri ex
#28 - Posh Spice - yea, I know…
#27 - Heather Mitts - US WNT
#25 - Milene Domingues - (buck-toothed) Ronaldo ex-wife
#47 - Sabrina Ferilli - AS Roma fan

Go check out the full list, and tell them why Posh shouldn’t be there.

Coleen Mcloughlin image from Kickette.

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Discussion - 4 Responses

  1. how did they miss Gemma Atkinson, Danielle Lloyd or Abigail Clancy? Get your research on WAGs right guys…

  2. February 8, 2008Ipanema Bob

    Life’s dealt Graham Rooney a pretty poor hand - brother to a superstar, brother-in-law to a total hottie, terrible looks, shady character, old-fashioned name… it’s a tough world out there, and a guy has to do what a guy has to do. Let’s show a little understanding here.

  3. brrrr….it’s cold. I should be on a beach where it’s warm and…

  4. […] So Coleen is smart because she wants to protect her name and kudos to her. However one has to wonder is it all purely common business sense on her part or she just does not want to be known under the last name Rooney? As we have reported before old Wayne has some strange relatives and his brother is no picnic either. […]

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