Manchester United, Tottenham, Manchester City, & Charlton players in gay sting!
Finally! Evidence that homosexuality is rampant in football! David James is going to be so proud of me…
But first, some real news (you can scroll down for the dirty stuff if you can’t hold it, you sick perv).
- The Guardian reports that representatives of the 20 Premiership clubs have agreed, in principle, to better share TV revenue so that the top four clubs are not advantaged by the new TV deals. The details will be hammered out in June, so at the moment this ‘in-principle’ agreement holds as much weight as the Arsenal board’s commitment to not sell their shares.
- Speaking of Arsenal, Amy Lawrence writes about Arsenal’s search for David Dein’s replacement. Gerard Houllier and Damien Comolli are the names mentioned most often, but apart from Houllier none of the other candidates seem plausible. Wenger’s going to decide who’s coming in, which is a) a reflection of his power in Arsenal and b) a dangerous precedent because it essentially allows one man to be the club.
Arsenal is Arsenal, it’s not Wenger, and it’s certainly not Wenger’s Arsenal. If the board is this weak (and we’ve already seen how emotional they are), Dein’s loss will hit them very hard.
Amy also mentioned Arseblog, which will make him secretly happy (although the lack of a link, which is unfair, won’t).
- Lyon win the Ligue 1 title for the 6th straight season. It must kill them to not succeed in the Champions League…
- Mourinho’s bonuses for winning the quadruple could add up to 5.2m – so THAT is why his wife and kids want him to stay…
- Petr Cech’s return has coincided with an amazing run of form for Chelsea – not coincidence, I assure you.
- From the school of made-up-shit-that-sounds-real – a list of four demands that Mourinho must meet.
What’s fascinating is that Roman Abramovich never speaks to the press – a bit like the Glazers. He hates the limelight, I suppose.
- Sunderland lost to Colchester. Boo-hoo, but now their top spot in under pressure and if Birmingham win their last three games they win the Championship. The Blues are away to Wolves next, so that’s not all done and dusted.
- Paul Wilson has an excellent article in the Guardian about Euro 2012 and the problems in Ukraine and Poland.
Where are the gay Premiership footballers?
David James asked that question last week, and boy, was he right. It took a week, but I finally put together evidence that completely supports David James’ claims (that 1 footballer in 10 must be gay). I’ve identified three clubs as part of my initial ‘sting’ operation – Charlton Athletic, Tottenham Hotspur and Manchester City.
Case #1: Charlton
Not in public! Well, ok, maybe just a little bit…
Case #2: Manchester City
I’ve got you now brother….
Case #3: Tottenham
Oh, I love you so much…
Now go back up and look at the fringe players in the pictures – they’re all getting it on as well in the back. It’s a massive orgy, I tell you.
David James, what do you think?
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Update: Here’s another pic I found, this time of United players. Oh well
Case #4: Manchester United
Oh Darren…Oh Ruud…Oh fuck…
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Disclaimer: talk of certain players being ‘gay’ is made in jest after looking at the goal celebration images from the 21-22 April 2007 weekend. The author nor Soccerlens consider the players involved to be gay, but do believe that it is important that we should have some once in a while. Your mileage of ‘fun’ may vary, and if this offends you, well, we have achieved one objective, even if it’s not the intended objective.