Top 20 Ugliest Footballers

Top 20 Ugliest Footballers


Wayne RooneyWayne Rooney has just been elected the ugliest player in the world, at least according to 33% of the 2,500 women polled by “Shrek” (as the Man Utd striker is affectionately, or not-so-affectionately rather, nicknamed) is however judged to be the perfect mate for girlfriend (and soon-to-be wife) Coleen McLoughlin, the latter indeed not being typical smokin’ hot WAG material (à la Abbey Clancy or Danielle Lloyd), even though her business skills are largely superior to her much sexier colleagues.

Carlos Tevez (left) with America Ferrera, the actress playing the American version of But going back to our “Ugly Top 20” ranking, Wayne Rooney is indeed topping the list and beating footy champions of the caliber of Ronaldinho and Carlos Tevez. While the footballing skills of the top trio certainly aren’t being questioned, the feminine population that was sampled might have very different things to say about their looks. I guess the “cartoonish face and bunny smile” of the Barcelona playmaker, and the rough facial expression of the Man Utd striker (nicknamed “Apache”) aren’t appreciated at their just value?

Completing the list, we find Liverpool striker Peter Crouch at nº4 (the boyfriend of aforementioned sex-bomb Abigail Clancy, the couple earning the nickname of “Beauty and the Beast” by the English tabloids) and AC Milan’s Ronaldo at nº5 (whose constant changes of hairstyle and castor-like teeth don’t make him much of a fan-favorite).

The survey shows that money can’t buy you looks” said Carl Christensen, spokesperson of the ThePeoplesclub website, in an interview to the Daily Star. “But money sure does help an ordinary guy get a good-looking girl. You have to look no further than Peter Crouch and Abbey Clancy” Christensen concluded. Manchester UnitedIn fact, that theory is so close to the truth that 1/5 of the surveyed women said they “wouldn’t at all mind going out with any of these ‘uglies’“, given their pro football player status (and the cushy bank account that comes with it).

One final statistic: by looking at the 20 names that make up this ranking, we find ONE player from the Serie A (AC Milan’s Ronaldo), TWO from the Spanish Liga (Ronaldinho and Van Nistelrooy), and SEVEN players from Manchester United (thus officially making the Red Devils the “ugliest team in the world”). Then again, this survey was conducted in Britain so it’s normal to see a lot of local players featured here.

Here’s the final Top 20. What do you think? Did we forget anyone?

Name Club
Wayne Rooney
Wayne Rooney Manchester United
Ronaldinho Barcelona
Carlos Tevez
Carlos Tevez Manchester United
Peter Crouch
Peter Crouch Liverpool
Ronaldo Milan
Luke Chadwick
Luke Chadwick Manchester United
Robbie Fowler
Robbie Fowler Cardiff
Darren Fletcher
Darren Fletcher Manchester United
Rio Ferdinand
Rio Ferdinand Manchester United
Ruud Van Nistelrooy
Ruud Van Nistelrooy Real Madrid
Dirk Kuyt
Dirk Kuyt Liverpool
Joleon Lescott
Joleon Lescott Everton
Gary Neville
Gary Neville Manchester United
Robbie Savage
Robbie Savage Derby County
Iván Campo
Iván Campo Bolton
Robert Earnshaw
Robert Earnshaw Derby County
Phil Neville
Phil Neville Everton
Philippe Senderos
Philippe Senderos Arsenal
Paddy Kenny
Paddy Kenny Sheffield United
Edwin Van der Sar
Edwin Van der Sar Manchester United

Marco Pantanella writes for the mCalcio blog

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  1. Earnshaw and the Nevilles should be much higher. Rio ain’t that bad, though the photo is less than flattering.

  2. Rubbish, they can’t beat us red devils in the league so they talk about looks. Are THEY mad!? Has anyone seen essien,drogba,mikel,makelele,hleb!rosicky!adebayor!riise!toure!eboue!eduardo!carragher! The list is endless! Wat about Newcastle!?don’t tell me they have enough problems already but my gosh!p.s. How saha is not on there i have no idea

  3. Luke Chadwick hasn’t been a United player for years. Aside from that, I think Ribery should be the captain of this ugly team…

  4. lol.. it looks like the article was meant to offend Man U. players… rooney is not that ugly.. ronaldinho is far more ugly…. we dont care if we have ugly players .. we are at the top of the league …that is all that matters… and if we talk about uglyness what about the creation of beckham and c.ronaldo in manchester united.. are they ugly too ?

  5. have to say this…rooney is really, really ugly. the only reason you think he’s not is cos you’ve gotten used to his face. ronaldinho’s more comically ugly, so it’s harder to get used to. but rio shouldn’t be on that list!

  6. i wouldn’t trade ronaldinho, ronaldo, tevez or rooney’s skills for david “oh look at me i’m gorgeous” beckham’s looks. not in a million years. if there’s one thing good about this survey it proves that these guys, at least half of them, are raking millions for one reason…skills. looks don’t last.

  7. Also, I hate to say it, but a lot of you seem to be nominating black players whom I don’t find particularly unattractive (do Essien, Defoe, Wright Phillips, etc. really have such features as the horse-like Van Nistelrooy, the snarl of a Tévez, the scars of Tévez and Ribéry, the fat head of Senderos, Ronaldinho’s buck teeth?). Seems a wee bit racist to me.

  8. From what I hear, Crouch is a pleasant, well-mannered lad. And he can dance. Maybe Abbey Clancy’s attraction is more than skin deep. Ever think of that, fellas?

  9. I’m actually glad about our ugly lookin team. Imagine these fuckers charging at you, wouldn’t want to be a defender in the opposite team, that’s for sure.

  10. where is Anderson?

    Sulley Ali Muntari – Winner
    Djbril Cisse
    Bakary Sagna???????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!

  11. What about Patrick Vieira? How could you leave him out of the list, I think he would make it to the top 5 atleast.

  12. dozer – agreed, united win the ‘team you’d least want to pick a fight against’ award – although Chelsea may get pissed off about that.

    Bob – You mean you haven’t read this?

  13. don’t tell me Crouch is more uglier than ronaldo…and for those saying that rio ferdinand shouldn’t be here..YES HE IS !! he’s very very ugly !!

  14. Anderson!? Anderson ugly!?no homo, but did you see the guy arriving at the airport when he signed!?looking lyk a rapper.and YES Hleb is Damn ugly. He looks lyk a vampire.and Roo is NOT The ugliest. Nor is Tevez.n wher’s Robben? Oh i jst remembered the man who shud top this list hands down Bacary Sagna!

  15. I don’t think Rooney is ugly. For starters, Tevez is NOT better looking than him (won’t bother going outside the United camp in case I’m seen as biased). Hell, imo, he’s even better looking than Scholes.

    This was really a stupid poll.
    If we can find out who the sample population was, we can perhaps find the motivation for the decisions?
    For example, how come there are no Africans on this list?

  16. think the athor of this is a bit biased, obviously ribery, drogba, essien, these ppl are far more ugly than rooney, and how the hell did van nisterooy make the list?i dun think many will find that he is ugly.. he’s got one of the nicest jaws a man can have.. omg is te author crazy or something

  17. My girlfriend thinks nistelrooy is well fit,so too did they get on the list?sagna?babel?luke chadwick dont play for united!but he was dam ugly!looked a bit like a rat!

  18. oh god…whoever made this list is damn biast…read Cortez’s comments…isnt drogba essien mikel adebayor sagna ugly? there’s an endless it so please stop the biastness just bcuz we’re on top

  19. Well, one thing is very clear: nobody can beat Man Utd at anything. We have the lookers (Ronaldo, Vidic, Hargo)*, we have the Shreks (Rooney, Tevez, Neville), we have the best players in the world (CT, CR, WR) and most revenue (Real Madrid excluded coz they make their own TV deals…). We are also pretty good on the pitch.

    PS where is Ben Foster? Why is he not here?

    *these are players my sister finds ‘nice’.

  20. marcus and usman mirza, cant you frikkin read? Its a survey, they polled 2500 girls to make this ranking.

    so stop your biased conspiracy theory bullcrap, aint anyones fault if the ugliness is concentrated at old trafford

  21. this list is hilarious.but how did ribery not make it..also we forgot bout diarra in real.and martins at newcastle..benjani????andrew johnson shld make it shld lassana d hell did sagna miss out too.this is stunning..I think this shld be a mock list

  22. This may seem biased but Van der Sar and Van Nistelrooy aren’t ugly and Rio isn’t that bad. As much as I love him I’m not going to contest Rooney’s election, though.

    And how is Anderson ugly? I’d put Gattuso in there, Mancini [the Roma guy] and Materazzi.

  23. Well the polls on Orkut are much more accurate than this one! The people look much better than the photos shown here. And i think the people with whom the poll was conducted dont watch football. If they do then they must be watching only Manchester United matches ! GLORY GLORY MAN UNITED !!!

  24. I think that IVICA OLIC from Croatia,he’s playing for HSV,is the ugliest man alive. Not just football player. Please,if you don’t know what is he look a like,find out,and then ask yourself have you ever seen anyone uglier.

  25. I agree with Akshay the sample used dont watch footbal. Were they looking at whites only? no blacks. Ok, even then for whites, Hleb, Essien, Chimbonda etc. shouldnt have missed on the list

  26. ugliesst player s teves, sagna and ribery and earnshaw i mean the teeth of his,,,oh my and dont forget the baboon face of marlon harewood

  27. Kuyt for first i find it hard to look at him at times. And who the fuck put crouch there he should be in the top 20 sexiest footballers this is an outrage!!!!!

  28. I was hoping to get a real ugly photo of Campo, showing his prehensile chin, etc. This one simply won’t do for my partners mystery valentine admirer, as he looks quite sweet. well almost

  29. OK, I know it’s just meant to be a bit of fun but in the wider context the article itself is what’s ugly.

  30. Hellooo, what about Drogba, Makaay, Sukur, most of barcelona. They’re some ugly guys. As for Ribery and Tevez, I actually don’t think they should count since they’re not naturally ugly, they both suffered life threatening accidents as to why they have those facial defects. And Hleb is ugly along with Schweinsteiger….

  31. This list is shit. Most of the players on the list are judged on the pictures of them posted alongside. That’s just coincidental expression. Shit List. First time I’m saying this…

  32. “where is Anderson?

    Sulley Ali Muntari – Winner
    Djbril Cisse
    Bakary Sagna???????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!”

    Take it easy on the africans bud

  33. Ok.

    Got one!!!!


    Alexander Filimonov – former russian goalkeeper.

    Makes Ribery look like Tom Cruise.

  34. come on .its the worst survey ever…van der sar is not ugly,even crouch and fletcher…but u think drogba and sagna edebayor

  35. This Ranklist sucks!1!!!!! rooney first ???r u stuped?Ruud 10? there are so many ugly footballer,more ugly then ruud,rooney,Crouch ,rio ,phil or edwin!

  36. Ahmed Shah wrote:
    This list is shit. Most of the players on the list are judged on the pictures of them posted alongside. That’s just coincidental expression. Shit List. First time I’m saying this.

    Actually Ahmed, those pictures were researched by me and added here simply to illustrate the ranking. The 2,500 women polled by thepeoplesclub didn’t have access to them.

    So much for talking without knowing the facts…

  37. sincerely speakin the captain of this ugly players should be sagna my god hes scary n i dont believe vannisteroy phil ngary re ugly

  38. Yo what the hell?
    This author must have polled this with those pictures because Wayne Rooney is NOT the ugliest, Rio and Fletcher are QUITE HANDSOME, Ruud shouldn’t even be there, Senderos is hot and Edwin? UGLY? You have got to be kidding me.
    Stupid pictures.

  39. “Actually Ahmed, those pictures were researched by me and added here simply to illustrate the ranking. The 2,500 women polled by thepeoplesclub didn’t have access to them.

    So much for talking without knowing the facts”

    Actually all This Proves is that Your research was shit and Ahmed is right!!!!!!!

  40. I think this is probably more like a list of how many footballers women actually know, Kuyt HAS to be no. 1

  41. A lot of the comments are depressing, because so many of you have an ‘imperialist eye’ when it comes to standards of beauty. I’m shocked to see Essien and Drogba on so many lists. By any objective measure, these are good-looking guys – just ask the ladies! And as for Van Nistelrooy’s ‘masculine’ jaw – don’t make me laugh! The only thing suspect about Sagna’s look is his hairstyle – can’t you guys see beyond that?

  42. no doubt it should be dinho, Tevez, and Ribery #1,2, and 3.
    and no mention for Schweinsteiger, Puyol, Pepe, or Drogba. What a joke.

  43. well i must comment on the ugly ones, if u say rooney -rio ronadinho is ugly is mistake what about samba of black born sagna of arsnal boloteli of inter milan taribo west of nigeria ndiefi of cameroon sani kaita of barcelona and others

  44. The whole Man United team is very ugly I cant stand the look at Rooney, Tavez, and the sir Alex faces, their are too ugly for my liking. In England here they make our kids afraid so we are asking the government of England to loan them to other country like Span and Germany Please.

  45. Rooney uglier than Rolandinho, c’mon. I’ll give you Tevez but the rest of the ManUtd players seem out of place considering the vast number of “stop-a-clock” mugs out there on the pitch. To exclude Ribery is an ridiculous oversight. Drogba too. And where the hell is Martin Skirtle for goodness sakes!

  46. What about Boumsong? He is really bad. And also what about Ribery, camoranesi, and antonio cassano? Tevez and Rooney are very ugly, that is why we win. Defenders don’t want to get near them so they score goals. Simple as that


  48. Cortez’s comment(no. 4) is obvioisly racial, why so many africans, dude?? Anyone agree?? no racial comments pls!! u’re probably ugly urself!!

  49. where in earth is arsenal syvester. the guy is beautiful
    not handsom. but ribery should be the no 1 follow by manchester united van paya carlos tevez

  50. I 100% agree with this list. And United are by far the ugliest team in existence. Even the manager is something that kids have nightmares of.

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