Top 20 Ugliest Footballers
Wayne Rooney has just been elected the ugliest player in the world, at least according to 33% of the 2,500 women polled by www.thepeoplesclub.com. “Shrek” (as the Man Utd striker is affectionately, or not-so-affectionately rather, nicknamed) is however judged to be the perfect mate for girlfriend (and soon-to-be wife) Coleen McLoughlin, the latter indeed not being typical smokin’ hot WAG material (à la à la Abbey Clancy or Danielle Lloyd), even though her business skills are largely superior to her much sexier colleagues.
But going back to our “Ugly Top 20″ ranking, Wayne Rooney is indeed topping the list and beating footy champions of the caliber of Ronaldinho and Carlos Tevez. While the footballing skills of the top trio certainly aren’t being questioned, the feminine population that was sampled might have very different things to say about their looks. I guess the “cartoonish face and bunny smile” of the Barcelona playmaker, and the rough facial expression of the Man Utd striker (nicknamed “Apache”) aren’t appreciated at their just value?
Completing the list, we find Liverpool striker Peter Crouch at nº4 (the boyfriend of aforementioned sex-bomb Abigail Clancy, the couple earning the nickname of “Beauty and the Beast” by the English tabloids) and AC Milan’s Ronaldo at nº5 (whose constant changes of hairstyle and castor-like teeth don’t make him much of a fan-favorite).
“The survey shows that money can’t buy you looks” said Carl Christensen, spokesperson of the ThePeoplesclub website, in an interview to the Daily Star. “But money sure does help an ordinary guy get a good-looking girl. You have to look no further than Peter Crouch and Abbey Clancy” Christensen concluded. 
In fact, that theory is so close to the truth that 1/5 of the surveyed women said they “wouldn’t at all mind going out with any of these ‘uglies’“, given their pro football player status (and the cushy bank account that comes with it).
One final statistic: by looking at the 20 names that make up this ranking, we find ONE player from the Serie A (AC Milan’s Ronaldo), TWO from the Spanish Liga (Ronaldinho and Van Nistelrooy), and SEVEN players from Manchester United (thus officially making the Red Devils the “ugliest team in the world”). Then again, this survey was conducted in Britain so it’s normal to see a lot of local players featured here.
Here’s the final Top 20. What do you think? Did we forget anyone?
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| Name | Club | ||
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Wayne Rooney | Manchester United | |
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Ronaldinho | Barcelona | |
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Carlos Tevez | Manchester United | |
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Peter Crouch | Liverpool | |
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Ronaldo | Milan | |
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Luke Chadwick | Manchester United | |
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Robbie Fowler | Cardiff | |
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Darren Fletcher | Manchester United | |
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Rio Ferdinand | Manchester United | |
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Ruud Van Nistelrooy | Real Madrid | |
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Dirk Kuyt | Liverpool | |
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Joleon Lescott | Everton | |
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Gary Neville | Manchester United | |
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Robbie Savage | Derby County | |
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Iván Campo | Bolton | |
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Robert Earnshaw | Derby County | |
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Phil Neville | Everton | |
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Philippe Senderos | Arsenal | |
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Paddy Kenny | Sheffield United | |
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Edwin Van der Sar | Manchester United | |
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Marco Pantanella writes for the mCalcio blog
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Discussion - 47 Responses
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If you count Ruud and Phil, then that’s 9, and I smell a conspiracy.
Quick, who can name the ugliest player from each Premier League team?
Earnshaw and the Nevilles should be much higher. Rio ain’t that bad, though the photo is less than flattering.
Carles Puyol
Oleguer
Camoronesi
and El Drog!!!
Rubbish, they can’t beat us red devils in the league so they talk about looks. Are THEY mad!? Has anyone seen essien,drogba,mikel,makelele,hleb!rosicky!adebayor!riise!toure!eboue!eduardo!carragher! The list is endless! Wat about Newcastle!?don’t tell me they have enough problems already but my gosh!p.s. How saha is not on there i have no idea
what about ribery?!
Am quite surprised that Drogba didn’t make it
And not to be mean, but Lescott and Micah Richards are there too.
Just proves my theory… tennis players are better looking than footballers.
Why no mention of dwight philips and defoe?
Luke Chadwick hasn’t been a United player for years. Aside from that, I think Ribery should be the captain of this ugly team…
lol.. it looks like the article was meant to offend Man U. players… rooney is not that ugly.. ronaldinho is far more ugly…. we dont care if we have ugly players .. we are at the top of the league …that is all that matters… and if we talk about uglyness what about the creation of beckham and c.ronaldo in manchester united.. are they ugly too ?
have to say this…rooney is really, really ugly. the only reason you think he’s not is cos you’ve gotten used to his face. ronaldinho’s more comically ugly, so it’s harder to get used to. but rio shouldn’t be on that list!
i wouldn’t trade ronaldinho, ronaldo, tevez or rooney’s skills for david “oh look at me i’m gorgeous” beckham’s looks. not in a million years. if there’s one thing good about this survey it proves that these guys, at least half of them, are raking millions for one reason…skills. looks don’t last.
Whoever said Hleb is ugly is mad.
Also, I hate to say it, but a lot of you seem to be nominating black players whom I don’t find particularly unattractive (do Essien, Defoe, Wright Phillips, etc. really have such features as the horse-like Van Nistelrooy, the snarl of a Tévez, the scars of Tévez and Ribéry, the fat head of Senderos, Ronaldinho’s buck teeth?). Seems a wee bit racist to me.
How Pedro Mendes of Portsmouth missed the cut has got me stunned…
But yeah, Franck Ribéry (left) should definitely feature here…
Another one I always thought had a bit of a freaky face is Lee Hendrie (right).
On a sidenote, some of you ought to check out the website http://www.uglyfootballers.com and their Premiership Ugly Top 11 team…
Also, Martin Jol looks far more like Shrek than Rooney ever could
Senderos always looks pissed off or angry
From what I hear, Crouch is a pleasant, well-mannered lad. And he can dance. Maybe Abbey Clancy’s attraction is more than skin deep. Ever think of that, fellas?
I’m actually glad about our ugly lookin team. Imagine these fuckers charging at you, wouldn’t want to be a defender in the opposite team, that’s for sure.
where is Anderson?
And…
Sissoko,
Sulley Ali Muntari - Winner
Benjani
Ribery
Djbril Cisse
Bakary Sagna???????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!
i mean rooney is ugly… but not the ugliest..
El-Hadji Diouf!!!!
Mellberg!
What about Patrick Vieira? How could you leave him out of the list, I think he would make it to the top 5 atleast.
dozer - agreed, united win the ‘team you’d least want to pick a fight against’ award - although Chelsea may get pissed off about that.
Bob - You mean you haven’t read this?
Marco, Hendrie actually looks like Jim Carrey in Ace Ventura in that pic
don’t tell me Crouch is more uglier than ronaldo…and for those saying that rio ferdinand shouldn’t be here..YES HE IS !! he’s very very ugly !!
Beckham?? I’m kiddin’ He the most handsomessssss player in the world…!!
Anderson!? Anderson ugly!?no homo, but did you see the guy arriving at the airport when he signed!?looking lyk a rapper.and YES Hleb is Damn ugly. He looks lyk a vampire.and Roo is NOT The ugliest. Nor is Tevez.n wher’s Robben? Oh i jst remembered the man who shud top this list hands down Bacary Sagna!
I don’t think Rooney is ugly. For starters, Tevez is NOT better looking than him (won’t bother going outside the United camp in case I’m seen as biased). Hell, imo, he’s even better looking than Scholes.
This was really a stupid poll.
If we can find out who the sample population was, we can perhaps find the motivation for the decisions?
For example, how come there are no Africans on this list?
Ok… Olivier Kahn
I must show this to my wife. She thinks Rio is kinda handsome
think the athor of this is a bit biased, obviously ribery, drogba, essien, these ppl are far more ugly than rooney, and how the hell did van nisterooy make the list?i dun think many will find that he is ugly.. he’s got one of the nicest jaws a man can have.. omg is te author crazy or something
My girlfriend thinks nistelrooy is well fit,so too ferdinand.how did they get on the list?sagna?babel?luke chadwick dont play for united!but he was dam ugly!looked a bit like a rat!
oh god…whoever made this list is damn biast…read Cortez’s comments…isnt drogba essien mikel adebayor sagna ugly? there’s an endless it so please stop the biastness just bcuz we’re on top
Well, one thing is very clear: nobody can beat Man Utd at anything. We have the lookers (Ronaldo, Vidic, Hargo)*, we have the Shreks (Rooney, Tevez, Neville), we have the best players in the world (CT, CR, WR) and most revenue (Real Madrid excluded coz they make their own TV deals…). We are also pretty good on the pitch.
PS where is Ben Foster? Why is he not here?
*these are players my sister finds ‘nice’.
marcus and usman mirza, cant you frikkin read? Its a survey, they polled 2500 girls to make this ranking.
so stop your biased conspiracy theory bullcrap, aint anyones fault if the ugliness is concentrated at old trafford
this list is hilarious.but how did ribery not make it..also we forgot bout diarra in real.and martins at newcastle..benjani????andrew johnson shld make it too..so shld lassana diarra..how d hell did sagna miss out too.this is stunning..I think this shld be a mock list
van der sar is not ugly…
This may seem biased but Van der Sar and Van Nistelrooy aren’t ugly and Rio isn’t that bad. As much as I love him I’m not going to contest Rooney’s election, though.
And how is Anderson ugly? I’d put Gattuso in there, Mancini [the Roma guy] and Materazzi.
Well the polls on Orkut are much more accurate than this one! The people look much better than the photos shown here. And i think the people with whom the poll was conducted dont watch football. If they do then they must be watching only Manchester United matches ! GLORY GLORY MAN UNITED !!!
I think that IVICA OLIC from Croatia,he’s playing for HSV,is the ugliest man alive. Not just football player. Please,if you don’t know what is he look a like,find out,and then ask yourself have you ever seen anyone uglier.
I agree with Akshay the sample used dont watch footbal. Were they looking at whites only? no blacks. Ok, even then for whites, Hleb, Essien, Chimbonda etc. shouldnt have missed on the list
ugliesst player s teves, sagna and ribery and earnshaw i mean the teeth of his,,,oh my and dont forget the baboon face of marlon harewood
Kuyt for first i find it hard to look at him at times. And who the fuck put crouch there he should be in the top 20 sexiest footballers this is an outrage!!!!!
I was hoping to get a real ugly photo of Campo, showing his prehensile chin, etc. This one simply won’t do for my partners mystery valentine admirer, as he looks quite sweet. well almost