The party is still going on in Barcelona, and there might still yet be a few angry hangovers in Manchester right now, but the aftermath of the Champions League final means transfer gossip aplenty for the loser.

As you would expect, a few butts will be met by boots this summer at Manchester United, and a few new faces will take their place in an attempt to help erase the disappointment of the Rome defeat.

With that in mind, United are in the transfer news and rumors pages today, but they’re not the only club trying to position themselves to displace Barcelona next season.

England

Manchester United to Pursue Benzema?

After Wednesday’s Champions League final defeat to Barcelona, there’s a lot of speculation that it could be a busy summer for Manchester United. While the likes of Carlos Tevez, Nani, Park Ji-Sung, and even Dimitar Berbatov all being linked with the exit door, one named that’s appearing on United’s potential wishlist is Lyon star Karim Benzema. The 21-year-old striker could be available for 30m, and he’s seen as better value than picking up the 25m option on Tevez would be. (The Mirror)

Analysis: Benzema had the quite the dry spell where he scored only twice in 10 Ligue 1 matches, which played a role in Lyon’s title challenge going down the drain, and when consistent goal production from the front line was an issue for United this season, that’s a bit worrying. But there’s no doubt that he’s one of the top young strikers in the game, and he’s proved that with three goals in his last two games.

Liverpool and Manchester City Agree Tevez Fee

Manchester United may be balking at it, but Liverpool and Manchester City have both agreed to pay the 25m required to land Tevez. Along with those two clubs, another Premier League club, Real Madrid, and another foreign club are all prepared to pay up as well. (The Times)

Analysis: Before the Champions League final, David Gill seemed confident about Manchester United’s chances to land Tevez permanently, but it doesn’t look like the asking price is going to change, especially when several clubs are all too ready to pay it.

Chelsea Tie Up Zhirkov Deal?

According to Russian reports, Chelsea have sealed an 18.6m deal for CSKA Moscow star Yuri Zhirkov. (Daily Mail)

Analysis: The reports may be a little premature according to what the club are officially saying, but Chelsea have been after Zhirkov for quite a while, and if he does go anywhere this summer, it’ll be there.

Fulham After Kaka’s Little Bro

Fulham could be seeking a loan move for AC Milan defender Digao, the younger brother of Kaka. (The Mirror)

Analysis: Digao is quite the physically imposing presence at 6′4”, so he could very well replace Brede Hangeland if he moves to Arsenal or elsewhere in the summer.

Germany

Bayern Munich to Watch Stoke Keeper

Bayern Munich are set to take a look at Stoke’s Danish goalkeeper Thomas Sorensen in next weekend’s World Cup qualifier against Sweden. (Setanta Sports)

Analysis: Bayern Munich could be in the market for a new keeper this summer, and though Sorensen isn’t exactly the most eye-catching choice, he has a wealth of experience in one of Europe’s elite leagues and internationally. It’d be a big blow for Stoke to lose him, but I don’t think they’d hold him back if the opportunity was there for him to be Bayern’s #1.

McClaren to Take Over at Hamburg?

Former England coach Steve McClaren is being linked with a move to Hamburg SV. McClaren led FC Twente to a runner-up finish in the Eredivisie in his first season at the helm, and he’s on the shortlist to replace former Tottenham boss Martin Jol, who stepped down to take over at Ajax – a job McClaren was also linked with. (Daily Mail)

Analysis: If Twente can hold on to their top assets this summer, next season could be special, but McClaren could see this move as a chance to jump to a better league. Jol set a nice foundation at HSV, and as wide open as the Bundesliga was last season,

Turkey

Galatasaray in Bid for Sevilla’s Kanoute

Galatasaray are after Sevilla star Fredi Kanoute. The former West Ham and Tottenham striker only signed a new deal with Sevilla last year, but Galatasaray have already opened discussions over a move. (Tribal Football)

Analysis: Kanoute has been stellar for Sevilla since moving there in 2005, and considering that he’s been their most consistent scorer this season and that the goals don’t look like drying up anytime soon, it surprises me that they’re considering letting him go. But, he’s 31, and they could be looking to give some of their younger forwards a chance next season, so if the fee’s right, then it could happen.

Daily Links

Soccerlens Podcast: Post-Rome Edition

On the latest episode of the Soccerlens podcast, host Stephen Darwin and guest Simon Wilkes talk about the Champions League final, the summer plans for the two finalists, and much more.

FA Cup Final Preview

Chelsea face off against Everton at Wembley in tomorrow’s FA Cup final, and EPLTalk has a preview of the showdown.

Is the FA Cup Relevant to the Modern Game?

Is the FA Cup relevant to Chelsea and their fans?

About ten years ago Nick Hancock co-wrote a book called What Didn’t Happen Next, which was an amusing look at the butterfly effect in football and those little changes which might have rewritten the annals of football.

What if Southgate had scored his penalty at Euro 1996? What if Gordon Banks hadn’t had food poisoning in 1970? What if George Best had been born ugly? As a sport full of folklore, imagination and eternal hope, it’s always tempting to ponder the road not travelled – and it is for that reason that every now and then this column will cover one of those ‘what if?’; moments, and indulge in a little escapism or breathe a hearty sigh of relief, depending on your perspective…

Today, the time machine takes us back to the start of 2007, and the DIC group have just completed a successful and straightforward takeover of Liverpool Football Club…

January 2007 – Liverpool, bolstered by Sheikh Maktoum’s bottomless well of fivers, have cash to spend and Rafa Benitez wastes no time in the transfer window. Fernando Torres arrives immediately for an inflated sum of £30m.

There’s also enough money for Gareth Barry, much to the ire of Martin O’Neill. Benitez smiles at a press conference, saying how wonderful it is to have the unquestioning support of his board on transfer matters.

March 2007 – Tom Hicks and George Gillett, thwarted in their efforts to acquire the Reds, turn their attention to Manchester City. Eager to sell, the board obliges. Their first act is to back Stuart Pearce unequivocally. Liverpool meanwhile are on a great run of form and find themselves in the thick of the title race. Torres is an instant hit, scoring freely.

May 2007 – Liverpool’s domestic form tails off and they come second to Manchester United, but after a confident run in Europe they reach the Champions League Final, where they meet AC Milan for a second time in three years. On the day, despite Milan scoring twice, a Torres double overhauls the Rossoneri.

Stuart Pearce, unaided by any transfers, leads Manchester City to midtable. At half-time in the final game of the season the American owners conduct an interview with Jurgen Klinsmann, who signs for a two year deal.

August 2007 – The season starts with reinforcements all around. Liverpool’s big signing is David Villa, who declares that he is very happy to join the European Champions. At the press conference he professes to be relieved that there are now enough Spanish players at the club that it makes more sense for Gerrard and Carragher to learn Spanish than for him to pick up the local tongue.

Jurgen Klinsmann buys Lukas Podolski. “We have a bit of cash, but it’s not as if Manchester City can throw £100m around and buy the best player in the world,” he says.

November 2007 – Thaksin Shinawatra flies back to Thailand to face the charges against him. With no football club to run, and nobody interested in his investment, there seems little reason for him to stay. He hires still unemployed Sven Goran Eriksson to come with him and defend him during his trial.

Liverpool sit top of the league, with Torres and Villa scoring freely. Peter Crouch angles for a transfer. “I’d have played a lot more games,” he says, “If there weren’t yet another striker here who deserves to play more than I do”.

One beneficiary of Liverpool’s form is Steve McClaren, who has enough confidence in the Gerrard – Barry partnership that he leaves Lampard out of his squads throughout the year. “It’s great,” he opines, “My only regret is that Gareth doesn’t have a great nickname like Stevie G, but I’m toying with the G-Bomb, and I think that Becks really likes it.”

Newspapers are quick to attribute McClaren’s success to his relaxed and friendly relationship with his players.

January 2008 – The money is there for Liverpool, but Benitez feels that everything is right with his squad. “Why tinker with a winning formula?” he questions, “I’m not one for chopping and changing when everything is going well.”

At Manchester City the money dries up, much to Podolski’s chagrin, who was under the impression that Klinsmann would be signing other German stars for the team. He fails to show up for training, causing Klinsmann to promise to get tough with his charges.

March 2008 – Manchester United are holding on to their hopes in the league, and Ronaldo’s form is keeping the Red Devils in the race. At a press conference Benitez reads out a charge sheet of Ferguson’s poor behaviour on the touchline. The press herald it as a masterstroke of mind games, and Manchester United draw their next game. Crowds chant Meester Fer-goo-sun, what’s the score? throughout the game, while goals from Barry and Gerrard are enough to win at Old Trafford.

April 2008 – Thaksin’s case is progressing badly, and it worsens when it comes to light in court that he did a lot of bad things. When Sven Goran Eriksson defends him, he suggests that since Shinawatra is considered a fit owner for a Premiership club that the trial ought be aborted. He buckles, however, when the prosecution asks why the former prime minister is therefore not the owner of a team. Shinawatra fires him, and Eriksson claims £15m as a severance on his contract.

May 2008 – Liverpool win the Premiership. Enough is enough for Cristiano Ronaldo, who leaves for Real Madrid saying, “If we’d won the double or something then I’d have thought about staying probably”. Ferguson says the £70m from the Ronaldo transfer will not be enough to rebuild, and it soon transpires that a group from Abu Dhabi are in talks to take over Old Trafford.

“Originally we were thinking of buying Manchester City, but this is much better”, a spokesman says. The Blues have gone down, and the club is put up for sale for twice the original purchase price. Klinsmann leaves, upset to hear that his American owners had a quiet meeting with Steve McClaren about taking over in the summer.

June 2008 – Euro 2008 is a feast of football, and for once England play to their best in the tournament. The final is between England and Spain. A G-Bomb strike is cancelled out by a solo effort from David Villa, and the game is decided on penalties.

Nerves finally get the better of England, and John Terry, still fresh from missing a penalty in Moscow in the Champions League Final, misses the crucial spot kick here as the ball hits the crossbar. He remains as captain of England and Chelsea, but spends the entire 2008/9 season crying strong, silent man-tears.

Mark is one of the founders of Sport without Spin which pokes fun at the contradictions, illogicalities and chat that sporting coverage in the media creates.

An astonishing leaked interview with former England boss Steve “Umbrella” McClaren has made it clear to British football authorities that the man they entrusted with England’s dismal Euro 2008 qualifying campaign was in fact a Dutch spy, sent in to sabotage English football.

The interview (shown below) is thought to have been taken when McClaren was relaxed and off guard, unaware of his English audience.

He is shown speaking with his natural Dutch accent, only occasionally slipping into the pretend northern dialect he adopted during his days at Manchester United.

Steve McClaren Interview:

“We’re fuming,” said Brian Barwick (with a capital ‘B’). “The bloody Dutch did us twice – first they sent him to learn the secrets of football from the altar that is Old Trafford, and then they got him to wreck our chances at qualifying for the Euros. If I didn’t have a ridiculous moustache, you’d see my upper lip quivering in anger.”

It is believed the plot was begun after Shearer, Sheringham and co. whipped the Netherlands team 4-1 at Euro ’96. McClaren was appointed assistant manager at Manchester United in December 1998, having spent two years perfecting a northern accent and a wrinkled yet child-like demeanour, so as to pass under the radar.

Having spent five years pretending to manage at Middlesbrough, Dutch authorities elevated his status by plying him with talented Dutch players like Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink, and fixing two UEFA Cup games to let Boro come back from seemingly hopeless positions to reach the final on Dutch soil, in Eindhoven.

With the ability to win two cup games in a row making him the stand-out candidate for an “English” successor to Sven Goran Eriksson, McClaren was put in charge of the nation’s 2008 hopes, and duly conspired to wreck them.

On the 15th November 2006, with England leading the Dutch 1-0 in the last fifteen minutes, McClaren responded to the calls of his fatherland; he immediately subbed on Kieron Richardson, with the inevitable result that England conceded. Rafael Van der Vaart stroking home from ten yards with four minutes to go, and English morale was shattered.

From then on, he used the team’s low self esteem to churn out mind-numbingly poor performances, both failing to qualify, and, in the case of corners, consistently failing to clear the first man. Selections such as Michael Johnson and Wayne Bridge reduced the England team to a laughing stock, and Steve stepped down in November last year with revenge duly gained for his Dutch homeland.

Steve spent a sabbatical touring the windmills of the world, and then took a cushy coaching job back in Holland, with a large pension and a contented smile.

“Yes, I’d always suspected something,” said John Terry, wise after the event. “There were just a few too many tulips around the place. And who comes to training by canal!?”

Mr McClaren is now thought to be the cause of the credit crunch, global warming, and the Cillit Bang adverts as well.

The Armchair Fan promises to bring you all the stories from the football world which you will have missed in the regular press – check them out at his website.

Paul Merson speaks to Soccerlens about England’s chances in 2010, Alan Shearer, and why any Germany game holds special memories for him.

Watching a 40-year-old Paul Merson take to the field a couple of months ago against Scotland Legends you could see, despite his lack of pace, the touch and the vision that saw him become a star at Arsenal and earned him 21 England caps.

Indeed, it’s a testament to the attacker’s skills that he was the only member of England’s 1998 World Cup squad not to play for a top-flight team, and you wonder what Fabio Capello would give to have a player like Merson in his squad for the current qualifying campaign.

Not that the former Arsenal, Middlesbrough and Villa player, who’s preparing to play his second Legends game against Germany live on ITV4, sees himself as the type of player England needs. When asked which of the players from his generation would have helped England to Euro 2008 his answer is immediate: Alan Shearer.

England’s weaknesses

“It all comes down to goals doesn’t it,” Merson says when asked what made Shearer such a special player for England. “Gary Lineker was a goal scorer, Alan Shearer, you know, he led by example.

“But at the end of the day, England haven’t got that player. Michael Owen for me has to play every time England play because he is a proven goal scorer. We haven’t got a recognised out-and-out international centre-forward like Michael Owen. It does put the fear through the opposition when they see his name on the team sheet.”

Over the phone, Merson comes across exactly as you’d expect him to. On the pitch, be it for Arsenal, England or Aston Villa, he always wore a huge grin on his face and, as one Arsenal fan site simply states: Paul Merson loved playing football.

Today the conversation is punctuated frequently by his laughter, jokes and self-depreciating humour and it’s clear he enjoys speaking about football as much as he did playing it. But if there are reservations, they’re about the current state of the England team.

“It half picks itself nowadays, the team, really. I remember years ago you could sit in the pub or sit at work and you could try and name the England team and everybody would have a different opinion.

“You know, nowadays, you sit and talk to people and say pick the team and everybody virtually picks the same team, bar one or two players tops and that’s it. So that’s the worrying thing for me – the first 11’s very very good and the rest are not… you know, they’re not up to the standard of winning a tournament.”

Merson certainly has a point. The England Legends team that played Scotland, and the team that will face Germany on Thursday, had players like Les Ferdinand, Lee Sharpe and Ray Parlour who would surely have commanded a place in today’s team but only have a handful of caps between them.

But Merson, like most involved in the game, doesn’t have an immediate solution on how England can build a future squad of new legends although he does suggest learning from abroad.

“For me, I don’t think the coaching methods are like the ones abroad. You know in Holland, and Germany, and places like that – everybody seems so comfortable on the ball from a young age.”
But the former PFA Young Player of the Year is still confident Fabio Capello’s England can perform and will be in South Africa in two years time, although he’s not expecting free-flowing, attacking football from the former Juve and Real Madrid boss.

“We’ve still got to qualify and I don’t think it’ll be entertaining or pretty but that’s not the point. They need to qualify. The last manager messed-up big time, so, I’m sure he’ll [Capello] get England to the World Cup – I don’t see any question about that at all.”

Legends – past and present

There’s no question Merson’s looking forward to taking on the Germans in Sheffield, and pulling on the Three Lions of England once again. “When you get twenty-two professional… ex-professional footballers on the pitch, everybody wants to win,” he says.

“There’s no such thing as a friendly. They don’t even break a smile. It’ll be competitive, there’s no question about that, you know everybody wants to win.

“We played them last time and we got half-slaughtered, to be fair, but that was when all the celebrities were playing so it should be different this time around.”

The game Merson’s referring to is the 2006 game at Reading that featured the infamous moment where the now-Mayor of London Boris Johnson launched headfirst into a tackle that would have been more appropriate for the oval ball game.

That game ended in a 4-2 defeat for the English and it would be fair to say Merson would quite like to get a bit of revenge on Thursday, but with the likes of Steffen Freund, Fredi Bobic and Carsten Ramelow in the German team, he knows it won’t be easy.

“You know, these are decent players. We played against the Scotland team and thought ‘uh-oh, they’re all young, a lot younger’ but we played well. But this one will be a different game. Completely different.”

And Merson then launches into one of his trademark laughs when the amount of honours the German squad has won is reeled off to him.

“I’m not looking at that! It’s 34 inch waists I’m looking at! I’m not looking at the middle, I’m looking at their waistlines. We’ve got a couple of 44s, 46s, 40s! But no it should be good, you know. It’s a great opportunity to play against some great players.”

The game also has an extra special significance for Merson. Back in 1991, fresh from a league title at Arsenal, he made his debut against the reunited German team in a friendly at Wembley – the first time East and West Germany had played together as one country since the Second World War.

And one of those players who’ll be leading the fight against Germany at Bramall Lane is former Captain Marvel Bryan Robson, a player it’s clear Merson has nothing but the utmost respect for.

“Bryan Robson’s got to be up there for me. He’s got to be up there. You know, great for me is whoever performs in the World Cup and he was a top man in the World Cup.

“I worked under him at Middlesbrough as well – he was a brilliant and unbelievable player. I’m also a massive fan of John Barnes. You know, people say he never did it for England but I don’t agree with that. He was a top man. People blocked him out of the game, made sure he never played but I thought he was a brilliant player.”

But neither Barnes nor Robson quite gets the accolade as Merson’s all-time England legend. Instead he gives the accolade to arguably England’s best player at the 1990 World Cup – Paul Gascoigne.

“Bryan Robson was unbelievable, you know, but when he’s played, you know, I would have to say Paul Gascoigne, I really would. He shines. Paul Gascoigne, 1990, was probably one of the best players in the world in that tournament.”

As for today’s England Legends, Merson has no hesitation in naming Steven Gerrard, who he describes as “one of the best players in the world.”

More than that, it’s clear Merson thinks Gerrard is key to Liverpool’s title hopes this season. “No question about it,” he says when asked. “He is Liverpool. If Torres and Gerrard don’t play for Liverpool they ain’t winning the game.”

And with that, the double League Championship winner, and Arsenal and England Legend, has to go, but not before signing off with another deep laugh and a “take care.”

He may be more worried about his waistline than his performance, but if the Scotland game is anything to go by, the Germans should be worried about seeing Merson lining up opposite them – he is a man still in love with the game on and off the pitch.

England v Germany Legends is live at Bramall Lane on ITV4 from 7pm. Tickets are £10 adults and £5 concessions.

When it comes to the annals of English football history, it’s unlikely Steve McClaren’s tenure in the hotseat will get a particularly favourable write-up. Somewhat tactically naive, unable to motivate players, outclassed on occasions by lesser teams, and failing to qualify from a group that was probably one of the easiest routes to a major tournament England will ever get.

Yet that ill-fated game against Croatia could just be the spark to reignite English football and McClaren and his umbrella may have keen the fillip to give the national game the kick up the backside it so urgently needed.

It’s hard to predict exactly how England would have done had they reached the finals in Austria and Switzerland, but a decent guess, if we swop them with Russia, would have been the quarter-finals, where they’d probably have lost to Holland. Maybe on penalties. There would be grumblings, the inevitable mass sulk, McClaren would probably keep his job and England would stutter towards another disappointing qualifying campaign to South Africa 2010, beaten to the top spot in their group by Croatia again. The old, underlying problems at Soho Square and the national game in general would still remain as everybody kept believing themselves all was ok in the English game.

As an alternate future, it’s about as appealing as one of the parallel worlds Dr. Who’s assistant, Donna Noble, keeps finding herself in these days. Fortunately, we’ve made that left turn and the future for England is looking a lot brighter.

Reasons to be cheerful

1. Burton-on-Trent finally gets the go-ahead
Whether it was the FA finally giving Burton the go ahead because they needed to look like they were doing something, or because they realised the importance of the centre in helping mould future England teams, reviving this scheme will be one of the best side-effects of England’s failure to qualify.

Sven-Goran Eriksson once remarked that if England had an equivalent to Clairefontane in France, this country could have won a major championship. Instead, with the closure of Lilleshall in 1999 – which produced players like Michael Owen and Joe Cole – youth development has been left to the clubs who, not unreasonably, have been scouring the globe rather than staying within England’s borders.

Having an ongoing permanent base, a centre of excellence for up-and-coming British players and the round-the-year work such as science, coaching, medical and video analysis departments can only benefit England. Although the centre is unlikely to be ready until 2010, it’s a huge step in the right direction – and a step that could have been completely demolished if England had beaten Croatia.

2. Appointing the right man. Quickly. And sensibly
When it came to replacing Sven, the FA managed to make a bigger hash of the task than anybody could have imagined. First they announced they were appointing Scolari before any agreement had be made, only for Big Phil to give a polite ‘no thanks’. Then they bowed to pressure from a jingoistic press, fed up with Sven and longing for an Englishman, and went for Steve McClaren. The media knew he was second choice, the players knew he was second choice, the fans knew he was second choice and the script for the last two years was almost written before a ball was kicked.

This time around, they’ve carefully considered the options, taken a more dispassionate look at the candidates and given Capello the job without any faffing around. It’s a fantastic opportunity for a clean break from the past and to start the next qualifying campaign from as blank a slate as you’re going to get.

The new gaffer has already made it clear that he won’t be swayed by reputation – which includes addressing the Liverpool captain as Mr. Gerrard rather than Stevie G – and nor will he be swayed by the media. Sometimes you need an outsider to bring the right perspective along and in Capello they have a man who has been quietly making the right noises, and is unlikely to be tolerant of failure. Most importantly, he’s got the players wanting to play for the shirt.

3. Sorting out England’s youth
Tying in to reason one, England’s failure may just get Premier League clubs looking back to developing or taking a chance on English talent. Burton, if handled correctly, will give added value to the cream of young players and, while not necessarily within the clubs’ youth academies, could complement it.

At the same time, especially given the current uncertainly over excessive use of foreign players (which, incidentally, is neatly debunked as hokum here), combined with the credit crunch, may just see clubs – either out of a wish to do a bit more for England, jumping the gun in case they need home-grown players, or just plain guilt at not fielding enough Englishmen – be prepared to start pushing a few more young talents towards the first team.

At the managerial end, perhaps stung by the accusation that young home-grown managers don’t get chances, we now have Paul Ince appointed as manager of Blackburn, to replace Mark Hughes, who moved onto Manchester City. Both of these clubs could have easily gone for the foreign option (yes, I know Hughes is Welsh) but chose to stay closer to home.

In themselves, guilt or a quick bit of sucking up to the FA and England fans demanding Englishmen on the pitch managed by an Englishman aren’t great reasons to bring through young English players, and it may even smack of tokenism. But these things have a habit of shaking out into something more sensible and if more clubs are willing to invest in young English players as a side-effect of English failure, then that is a good thing.

4. Reality checks all round
The England squad in the last qualifying round was full of big name players with even bigger egos who, for whatever reason, seemingly didn’t turn up whenever they pulled on the three lions. This was due in part to a poor manager, the knowledge they were unlikely to be dropped, or the mindset that, because they played in the best league in the world, they should be able to beat lesser countries without breaking a sweat. All three comfort zones have now been removed.

These superstar egos have now experienced humiliating failure, which they won’t want to experienced anytime soon, while Capello has made it clear that he’s not afraid to leave out big names like Owen and Lampard if they’re not performing or simply don’t fit into his team. Aragones did the same with Raul, and picked a team rather than individuals, and Spain didn’t do too badly out of it.

England’s team may be earning enough money to buy a small island each, but the idea of being dropped or humiliated for the national team will still rankle, and we may yet see a decent performances in a white shirt from some of these players who have hitherto underperformed.

5. Getting your house in order
The FA have not, in recent years, been a particularly efficient or dynamic organisation. We’ve already touched on McClaren’s appointment, then there’s the Wembley financing debacle that was a millstone dragged behind the organisation since its inception, while in the majority of dealings with the Premier League, the FA has veered between toothless and negligent, often both. But as long as the game muddles through and England don’t fail completely and abjectly then there’s been no hunger for overhauls.

So, with England now failing completely and abjectly, it is, to borrow from Sir Trevor Brooking, the perfect time for root and branch review. With a good deal of the ire towards England’s failure to qualify directed at Soho Square, the inevitable period of reflection will hopefully shake out any complacency within the organisation as they look to go some way to restoring English pride.

Already, we’ve seen the FA refuse to roll over for Game 39 (although there will be several more battles over this to come), revive Burton, and generally start sounding like a body that wants success rather than one that is reluctant to change. Capello, also, is not the kind of man to accept mediocrity.

With the FA putting serious effort into bidding for the 2018 Word Cup, it will not look good if the national team struggles to make major tournaments.

But, heaven knows we’re still miserable now

England’s revival could still be thwarted, though, if the misery and sulking that has accompanied the failure to qualify continues and lapses way beyond what could be described as reasonable self-indulgence.

Watching the press and fan reaction over this past month is somewhat akin to a man who’s been dumped by a woman wholly unsuitable for him, yet refuses to acknowledge any problems in the relationship. Ahmed’s already noted the anti-England rants, while the collective roundup of wallowing self-pity mixed with stubborn arrogance reached its nauseating climax in the British press following Spain’s victory.

The English media needs to accept that England simply weren’t good enough to get to Vienna and Basle, and stop being stunned that a country that produces the so called ‘best league in the world’ doesn’t have a God-given right to turn up at every major finals, or to beat every team it plays. We have the same attitude to the Eurovision song contest, and look how well we’ve done there in recent years.

It may be too much to ask that the mass hysteria that surrounds the English football team can be abandoned because of their failure to reach Euro 2008, but it may yet temper expectations into something more realistic and sensible, if no less passionate. Combined with the above, it could turn England into a lean, mean, hungry force on the pitch backed by fans who don’t start booing the minute the team try a bit of patient build-up play rather than lump it up front.

2010 may be a bit early for the changes to take effect, but come 2012, England could be a real force. Earlier this month a friend of mine described England’s non-attendence at Euro 2008 as “a disaster”. With respect to said friend, it is anything but, and could just be the catalyst for English success in subsequent tournaments.

Steve McClaren has been named as the new coach of Eredivisie side FC Twente. He has agreed a two-year deal at the Enschede club and takes over from Fred Rutten, who has joined Bundesliga side Schalke. One of his first tasks will be to lead the club into the third Champions League qualifying round.

Steve McClaren:

“I am delighted that I have got the chance to become coach of FC Twente. I noted from the first meeting with chairman Joop Munsterman and other people at the club that they were very co-operative. It’s an exciting time for the club, they were very successful under Fred Rutten and I cannot wait to meet the players and technical staff and to get to work.

It’s a great challenge for me to be with FC Twente in the Eredivisie and Champions League and I think we can all start with a positive feeling for the new season. I would like to say to the fans, about whom I have heard a lot, that we will do everything we can to bring the club further success.

Sir Bobby Robson told me that this would be a nice challenge for me. He also told me that FC Twente is a fantastic club and that I would feel at home. I am excited to be working again at a club that fits me well. I am looking forward to this new challenge.”

For all that has been said and written about the man, it’s good to see that he’s taking the foreign plunge in an attempt to improve himself as a manager. I wish him and FC Twente success.

As a treat, here’s Steve McClaren talking at length about tournament tactics. Must read…

NB. The following article is a spoof letter addressing a current issue within the game. It is intended to be light hearted and is not intended to offend anyone. If you are a reader who does not enjoy this feature on a Monday, please spare yourself the agony of reading it!

This week, after watching the first couple of days of Euro 2008 I thought I’d send an open letter to Fabio Capello to try to cheer him up about England’s current plight.

Dear Mr. Capello,

Having watched the first four games in the European Championships I am sure that you will agree with me that it is a tournament that it would have been quite nice to be involved in. Unfortunately, your predecessor, Steve McClaren, couldn’t have managed his way out of a wet paper bag, and somehow contrived to fail to qualify.

I thought I should just write to you to point out that we are the best football team in Europe and that you have players at your disposal who would walk into any of the teams who have qualified for this tournament.

At the time of writing, I have seen just half of the sixteen teams, Switzerland, Czech Republic, Portugal, Turkey, Austria, Croatia, Poland and Germany. I can compare our English stars to these eight teams because I don’t think there is anyone playing for Italy, France, Holland or Spain that would get into our team, do you?

In goal, David James would have been the best. Well, OK, Petr Cech might be picked above him. Oh, and maybe Artur Boruc. Turkey’s keeper looked quite decent actually, so did Croatia’s. Anyway, David James is definitely better than Jens Lehman.

At right back, who in their right mind would pick Germany’s Lahm or Portugal’s Bosingwa ahead of Wes Brown? Yeh, maybe he wouldn’t get in ahead of them two. OK.

At least we have the best left back. Ashley Cole is definitely streets ahead of that Jankulovski of the Czech Republic, isn’t he? Well, maybe not better, as such.

We clearly have the best central defenders in the world though, of that I’m sure. John Terry and Rio Ferdinand would never be left out in favour of Carvalho, Pepe, Ujfalusi or Mertesacker. Some people wouldn’t leave them out. OK, so Fernando Torres says that Ricardo Cavalho is by far the best central defender in the Premier League, bur really, what does he know?

On the right of midfield, Beckham or Bentley are clearly better than that Ronaldo feller at Portugal and on the left, Stuart Downing would undoubtedly keep Podolski out of the German team or Simao out of Portugal.

In the middle of midfield we have an advantage over the rest of Europe. Steve Gerrard, Frank Lampard, Gareth Barry and Owen Hargreaves would be sought after by all the other teams. Frings and Ballack for Germany and Deco, Moutinho and Petit at Portugal are hardly in the same class. I even heard someone suggest that some player called Modric is pretty good, but not in the class of Barry, surely?

Up front is where we clearly lead the world in talent. Rooney, Owen, Crouch and Ashton would be the first choice for all eight of the teams we have seen so far. We wouldn’t swap any of them for Klose or Gomez or Nuno Gomez or Frei or Eduardo if they were fit would we now.

So there we are, I have categorically proved that the only reason we didn’t qualify and go on to be European Champions is because we had a poor manager. The players are the best in Europe. Of course, we haven’t yet seen, Evra, Gallas, Vieira, Henry, Benzema, Ribery, Van Der Sar, Sneijder, Robben, Van Persie, Van Nistlerooy, Buffon, Chiellini, Pirlo, Toni, Casillas, Puyol, Iniesta, Xavi, Torres, Villa and Ibrahimovic amongst others, but I’m sure they’ll all prove to be disappointing.

Mr. Capello, I’m just slightly concerned now that one of the reasons we are not in the tournament could be because we’re not good enough. What do you think?

I wish you the very best of luck. You’ll need it!

Yours, sincerely,

Graham Fisher
Soccerlens.

It’s a new week, and there’s plenty of transfer news from the weekend to go over in the Monday roundup.

Cardiff may have lost their chance at a place in Europe, but they could be on the verge of a nice little cash injection from Manchester United, if they choose to accept United’s increased offer for starlet Aaron Ramsey.

According to the Daily Mirror, the offer is said to be 5 million pounds up front, with the chance for that to double over time, and would allow Ramsey to be loaned back to Cardiff for a season.

Rumor Rating: 4 – Well, he best wind up being worth the money that the Big Four want to pay for him…

The Daily Record says that AC Milan are very interested in Celtic keeper Artur Boruc, even though he has a 10 million pound price tag.

Rumor Rating: 3 – Boruc has said he wants to leave Celtic in the summer, but will it actually happen?

Tottenham are reportedly set to offer Barcelona 30 million euros for Samuel Eto’o, and offer the striker a salary of 7 million euros a year, with Spurs chairman Daniel Levy expected to meet with Barca head man Joan Laporta today to make an official offer.

Rumor Rating: 4 – Tottenham are doing all they can to get Eto’o, and with AC Milan and Inter both valuing him at significantly less than Spurs do, they may be in the driver’s seat for his signature.

Tottenham are also being linked with a move for West Ham’s Dean Ashton, according to the Daily Mail.

Rumor Rating: 2 – With how much Ashton will likely cost (at least 15 million), he’s probably not a serious option unless the deal for Eto’o falls through.

Tottenham are also being linked with another one of Juande Ramos’ players from his time at Sevilla, as News of the World says that they could make an 8 million pound move for left back Adriano Correia.

Rumor Rating: 3 – Losing two key parts of their defense will be a big blow to Sevilla, but for the money that they are set to bring in from the transfers of Daniel Alves and Correia (and potentially Luis Fabiano), they’ll be able to draft in some replacements.

Could Arsenal make a move for Blackburn’s Roque Santa Cruz? Santa Cruz had a career season in his debut year in the Premier League, and could be viewed as Emmanuel Adebayor’s replacement if he decides to jump ship.

Rumor Rating: 3 – Blackburn will be hard-pressed to part with Santa Cruz, unless it’s for a much bigger fee than the 3.5 million they paid for him last summer.

Liverpool are on the verge of signing Udinese left back Andreas Dossena in an eight-million pound deal, according to reports both in Italy and England. The 26-year old received his first Italy cap in November.

Rumor Rating: 4 – This is a pretty new name to me, but if you know anything in-depth about him, comment!

Middlesbrough could be making a move for Newcastle’s James Milner, with Gary O’Neil potentially on his way out. Milner could cost the Teesiders five million pounds, while that could also be the fee that O’Neil leaves for, after only one season at Boro.

Rumor Rating: 3 – O’Neil’s family has had issues settling in, so he’s likely on his way out. As for Milner, with all the likely squad changes expected at Newcastle, he could be expendable.

Aston Villa are reportedly close to signing Arsenal’s Justin Hoyte (4 million pounds) and Chelsea’s Steve Sidwell (7 million pounds), according to News of the World.

Rumor Rating: 5 – 7 million pounds for Sidwell? Not saying that he isn’t worth it, but Chelsea are going to be laughing all the way to the bank on this one, getting him for free, rarely playing him, and then making a nice little profit.

Wigan have completed the signing of Egyptian star Amr Zaki, in a deal that will pay Egyptian side Zamalek six million pounds to send the prolific striker to England.

Rumor Rating: 5 – This is a terrific signing for the Latics, if Zaki can bring his scoring touch to the Premier League. If Wigan can hold onto Valencia and Palacios, their prospects for doing fairly well next season are pretty good.

Newcastle are after Galatasaray’s rising young star, winger Arda Turan. The 21-year old already has 18 caps for Turkey, and while Newcastle have their heart set on wrapping up an 11 million pound deal as soon as possible, the newly-crowned Turkish champions reportedly want to wait until after Euro 2008, so that they could squeeze as much as possible out of a buyer.

One last news bit – Steve McClaren could become the manager of Dutch side FC Twente, who recently earned a place in the Champions League qualifying rounds by winning the Eredivisie’s playoff over Ajax. It’d be an interesting move for him, but maybe it’d be the best thing for him to restart his managerial career away from England.

Well, that’s it for today – as always, chime in and chip in, and I’ll be back tomorrow.

I received a letter this morning from former England manager Steve McClaren. (If you believe that, you’ll believe anything!) Anyway, I thought I would share it with you because it contains some wonderful insights into some of the decisions he made over his England career.

Dear Graham,

Firstly, let me say that I think you are probably the best football writer in the world. I admire your work and think you should be paid a lot more than you are. Have a word with those Soccer News and Soccerlens people and see if they could pay you something like £500 per article. You are certainly worth it.

I wanted to contact you because you have made some unfair criticisms about me in the past. You are not the only football writer who has done so but I thought I’d start at the very top.

I want to take this opportunity to put the record straight.

I am not a buffoon, idiot, hopeless, naive, incompetent, brainless, clueless or stupid person. Why is it that all writers have to put an adjective before a manager’s name? Wenger is called the ‘Thoughtful Wenger’. We have ‘Feisty’ or ‘successful Alex Ferguson’ and ‘European genius Rafa Benitez’. I have to be lumbered with one of the above. It is not fair.

When I was assistant manager to Sir Alex at Manchester United we won trophies. It is no coincidence that they have been so unsuccessful since I left.

I took over as manager at Middlesbrough when they were nothing but a mid-table Premier League team and by the time I left five years later I had turned them into a mid-table Premier League team. Since I left the Riverside that inexperienced manager Gareth Southgate has taken over and they have slumped to become a mid-table Premier League team. None of that is coincidence.

As assistant manager to Sven Goran Eriksson I helped to mastermind five years of English football whereby the ‘best generation of talent’ the Country had seen in forty years took on the world and drew. If we hadn’t lost to Brazil, France and Portugal we could easily have won something.

When Sven left, I was the obvious first choice of the FA for the Coaches role. Apparently somebody mentioned a bloke called Scolari but Brian Barwick has told me I was always his first choice and I believe him.

Anyway, I settled into the role straight away and set about creating a nice relaxed atmosphere for all the superstars I was in charge of. I wanted them to be comfortable and enjoy themselves. Firstly because people play better football when they are relaxed, and secondly because I was in awe of all these fantastic footballers. I could hardly tell them what to do, could I?

The first squad I picked didn’t include David Beckham or David James. It was obvious to anyone with half a brain, like me, that neither of these two washed up has beens would ever put the three lions on again. I turned to John Terry, a man I both respected and was scared of and gave him the captain’s armband when he told me to.

I introduced revolutionary training methods and tactics and we went on to win our first three games. However, through no fault of mine we went on a slightly poor run of form after that. We scored only one goal in five matches but I was happy with the shape of the team and the way we created almost one or two chances in each of those games.

We then went to Albania, a tough place to visit, and put on a decent first half performance where we weathered the storm and got to half time with a 0-0. Unbelievably some of the English fans were slightly disappointed with our performance and jeered us as we walked off. It is sad that so many uneducated people watch football. They shouldn’t be allowed to spend all that time and money to travel the world to support us if they can’t recognise tactical genius.

In the second half we scored three and won comfortably. In the press conference after the game I walked out saying “Write what you want.” I knew it was best to let the football do the talking.

Imagine my shock when I saw the papers the next day. They actually criticised me. The writers must have been listening to the drunken oafs who pretend to be fans.

I then discovered a player who was plying his trade in the USA who had the same name as the superstar I left out when I had first taken over. He was a similar player, probably not quite so good and a little bit older, but it was a masterstroke to select him as we went on to win four of our next six games with him playing.

We went to Russia and I surprised everyone by playing Jolean Lescott at left back in such an important game and by sticking with keeper Paul Robinson despite the fact that he had no confidence, or indeed ability, at that time. The game went according to plan apart from the fact that we lost. Unbelievably, Lescott looked a little nervous and Paul Robinson made a rare error to cost us the game.

I had managed to take the team to the verge of qualification in a very tough group, but we were left with the almost impossible task of beating Croatia at Wembley to go through.

I resisted the temptation to play David James in goal. He was in pretty good form, but I never go back on any decisions. There was no way I could stick with that idiot Robinson so I brought in young Scott Carson. I knew he would be fine.

It was hardly my fault that he made some mistakes and we lost. I even put Stewart Downing on in both games but still we lost. How do you explain that?

I was then unceremoniously and unfairly dumped by the FA who thanked me for all my hard work. Not once in the press conference did they mention the phrase ‘Tactical genius’. I was dismayed.

I am now looking for work and so far, I have to say, the offers haven’t come flooding in. I’m probably too good for most of the clubs around the world and will have to wait until one of the big jobs becomes available. Rijkaard doesn’t look too secure at Barca and Grant is on the way out at Chelsea. I fully expect to get offered one of those.

Thank you for this chance to put the record straight.

Yours in admiration,

Stevie Mac.

Any similarities to real people in the above article are entirely accidental.

Graham Fisher writes at Views of a fan. Article originally written for Soccer News.

While football accomplishments and failures are usually measured season to season, the end of an year gives an opportunity to view a team’s (or a player’s) performance from a different perspective.

Here’s a look at the teams and people who deserve to be nominated as the worst performers in 2007, allowing for slumps in form and what not.

The England / FA / Steve McClaren

Arguably, one of the most under-prepared, over-rated and poorly-carved football teams of the year. England’s national football team is in tatters and was a perfect example of how a team should NOT be. Most of their matches were avoidable in a true footballing sense and Crotia’s remarkable victory at Wembley to eliminate them should not be considered an upset at all. It was well-deserved and well-earned. You’d bet Croatia to do a Greece in the upcoming European championships, purely on the basis of their heroics over the two legs. The FA and Steve McClaren were of course the other causes of England’s fall from grace. The former because of poor leadership and error-prone decision making, the latter because of pure lack of management abilities and tactical understanding at such a level. McClaren was one of the worst appointments in the history of the national team.

VERDICT: The football world isn’t too upset with the sinking of the egoistic English titanic in the seas and oceans of international football. Croatia deserved to finish group toppers. Russia did just enough for us to remark “England deserved it”…..

Ronaldinho

The Brazilian sorcerer’s shocking twist of fate saw him produce such mediocre form that Barcelona would have at least taken a peek at Middlesbrough’s bid for his services. Football’s prodigal son produced some of his all-time worst performances in the year gone by and people are beginning to lose hope that Ronaldinho will return to his best one fine day. That “one fine day”, however, is restricted to a diary of the past and it will take a miracle for Ronnie to return to his best. Add to that, expectations at Barcelona have seen Ronaldinho’s life take a U-turn. He is no longer worshipped or endeared by the Catalans nor do his No.10 shirts still sell like hot cakes.

VERDICT: On another day you’d pity him if the causes of his demise were recurring injuries or personal problems. But good old Ronnie has lost what is most essential in football – the happiness gained from playing the game. His attitude doesn’t speak for that and Ronaldinho’s good times may have already come to an end…..

Bayern Munich

The German giants were booted from being champions to huffing and puffing for a UEFA Cup spot in the Bundesliga. Like the England team, the in-team egos worked against each other and the Bayern hierarchy were shell-shocked at their horrendous position in last season’s table. Bayern have hope with the arrival of players like Franck Ribery, Luca Toni and Miroslav Klose. Not just hope, in fact. They should finish champions if the aforementioned trio quickly gel in with the rest of this hugely-talented outfit. A UEFA Cup triumph would make Bayern the I-most-look-forward-to-watching team of season 2008-09. The return of Ottmar Hitzfeld is also worth a mention as he has seen them through some of their most successful years in football.

VERDICT: Fourth place in Bundesliga was deserved. Few could argue against the fact. But Ribery, Toni and Klose combined with emerging prodigies like Toni Kroos could create a re-incarnation of Barcelona 2004-06…..

David Beckham

He might be comfortably seated on his heavily-expensive sofa, cozing alongside his wife and counting American currency using a 20-bit calculator(Is that enough even?) in Los Angeles, but David Beckham is arguably football’s greatest loser ever. And to top it off, his wife made it more worse than it was. Beckham was one of the most talented footballers to have ever played the game, with his inch-perfect passing and precise set-pieces becoming trademarks of his game. But at the age of just 31, he left Europe to play in a country that doesn’t even truly appreciate football on the whole. Both Milan and Bayern Munich were interested at some point, but the ferocious Posh Spice drove them away. How well Beckham would have done to be a part of Milan’s Champions League-winning squad or Bayern’s competitive outfit, you wonder.

VERDICT: Becks will be remembered only for the glitz and glamour he bought to football, which wasn’t even needed. It’s sad because he was a rare talent. After all, Sir Alex Ferguson hardly gets things wrong…..

Barcelona

One of the most feared teams in Europe is, ironically also, the most easily defeatable of the big ones in the continent. There has been a dramatic turn in Barca’s fortunes. The Catalans had their pocket picked when arch-rivals Real Madrid snatched away La Liga on the penultimate weekend of last season. An embarassing elimination in the Copa del Rey did no good to them. Ronaldinho is a dead man walking. Talents like Fran Merida and Dani Pacheco have been taken away by English teams. One of the world’s best players, who is lighting up North London, is a product of their famous La Masia academy. Frank Rijkaard has reportedly lost control of his players. And to top it off, Madrid are 7 points ahead in La Liga at the end of the year and have just beaten them at home for only the second time in 20 years. How worse can it get. Only one little man fuels hope in Catalunya – Lionel Messi. Although it’s a little unfair as Andres Iniesta has emerged as a world-class midfielder who is doing something that Barca have forgotten completely – playing consistently. Decisions need to be taken urgently.

VERDICT: Barcelona have “done” enough to be deemed the new Galacticos. They deserve to be where they are and need to re-build their team immediately. The biggest new year warning, hence, goes to the Blaugurana…..

Happy New Year folks, and let us know who you think were the worst of the worst in 2007.