For a professional footballer there is nothing worse than being injured, but with the physical nature of the sport, injuries are always going to happen. Despite the modern day footballer honing his body to become a complete athlete, knocks, niggles and ailments can take their toll.

With important fixtures piling up thick and fast at this time of the year, managers pray that their star players stay fit, and will try just about anything to speed up the player’s rehabilitation if they get injured. Here are a number of alternative medical treatments from the world of football.

Horse Placenta

A growing phenomenon in sporting medical circles is the use of horse placenta to treat muscle tears. Robin van Persie is probably the most high-profile case of a player undergoing the treatment, but Frank Lampard and Glen Johnson are thought to have tried the strange method also.

Serbian woman Marian Kovacevic is said to charge €3,000 per session, but her methods have come under scrutiny from the authorities. Despite this, Van Persie is said to have benefited from Kovacevic rubbing the placenta into his damaged muscles, and has heralded her as ‘a miracle’ in the past.

Faith Healing

Glenn Hoddle and his faith healer Eileen Drury are the most well-known case of this eccentric treatment. The former Tottenham midfielder claims that Drury helped him recover from injury during his playing career, and duly hired her as a consultant for the England team during his management at the 1998 World Cup.

The nation’s players did not take the unorthodox methods as seriously as their manager however, with Ray Parlour famously asking for ‘a short back and sides’ when lying on Drury’s treatment table.

Goat’s Blood

Bayern Munich medic Dr. Hans Wilhelm Muller-Wohlfahrt is said to deploy treatments slightly off the beaten track, and prescribed goat’s blood to St Johnstone attacker Peter MacDonald when he approached the German doctor for help.

The striker explained:

“The specialist said my hamstring was too tight and I had goats’ blood injections. That’s the best for loosening it off.”

Dental Treatments

Both Florent Malouda and Robin van Persie have claimed to be more injury-free after having teeth removed, as dental issues and muscle injuries have been linked by some osteopaths. The Chelsea winger accredits the removal of wisdom teeth for an upturn in fitness and form in his early days at Stamford Bridge.

Viagra

In South America altitude can be an issue for certain teams and players, with Bolivian team Blooming giving their players Viagra before games at large distances above sea level. The sex drug is believed to help combat altitude issues due to increased blood flow, and some teams competing in the Copa Libertadores use the drug also.

The Dick van Toorn experience

Many Dutch players have defied medical opinion by recovering from muscle tears in a fraction of the expected rehabilitation time due to Feyenoord physio Dick van Toorn. The likes of Rafael van der Vaart, Wesley Sneijder and Arjen Robben are current clients of the elderly medical man.

Van der Vaart explains the methods that Van Toorn adopted to get him back playing two weeks after a hamstring strain, when he was expected to be sidelined for a month and a half:

The Spurs man admitted:

“I go there and after one week, I can run and shoot again. It’s a lot of acupuncture, chiropractic work… and a lot of power training. You have a lot of pain when you have pulled your hamstring, for example, but he is still training, training, training. I always go there for four days and it’s two four-hour sessions per day.”

So there you have it – it’s not all ice baths and the gym when recovering from injury, as footballers look to any and all methods to get them back in action.

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From Soccerlens.com - Football News

“It will always be a battle a day between those who want maximum change and those who want to maintain the status quo.”

Those were the words of Sinn Fein President Gerry Adams when addressing the IRA in 2005. They also provide a pretty accurate commentary of Andre Villas Boas’ tumultuous reign at Chelsea. The fresh faced confidence of 9 months ago had been washed away and replaced by an image of down trodden isolation as AVB stood on the touch line at The Hawthorns. An eventuality largely considered as a matter of when rather than if was finally confirmed the following day as AVB was relieved of his duties.

Throughout the past weeks as pressure has built on the young Portuguese coach, many football journalists and fans alike have pondered that for Chelsea it may be a case of the “right man at the wrong time.” This was never going to be the right appointment at a time of required transition within the Chelsea squad.

That was of course the well-publicised mandate with which AVB was given upon his appointment at Stamford Bridge. It was an aim that AVB appeared confident of achieving and one that which he spoke openly about on his arrival. This was an immediate error on his part and highlighted a naivety that was to blight his time in West London. Such blatant proclamations of change immediately placed AVB as a threat to the futures of the now infamous senior players within the dressing room, of which there are many. AVB had effectively lost the trust of influential players before he had even had chance to gain it.

The situation was only exacerbated by the fact that intially AVB’s changes were so minimal. His only major signing of the summer was Juan Mata, which coupled with the introduction of Daniel Sturridge into the first team, signified his only real changes to the Chelsea set-up. In a nutshell; AVB’s initial success was dependent on a group of players he had openly talked about phasing out of the club. Players need to feel inspired by their manager not threatened. His naivety not only continued but also grew when he declared that the owner backed his project even if his players don’t. AVB clearly backed the wrong horse.

One might argue that it was admirable honesty, but instead it just reeked of a man still too immature to deal with such intense media scrutiny and a further display of disregard for players he needed to peform if his project was to ever get off the ground. Evidence that a young manager with limited experience and reputation wasn’t the man to come, from the outside in, to perform the transition the owner desired. Of course a poor season on the pitch was the absolute sealer of AVB’s fate.

Managerial Misjudgement

Roman Abramovich has spent lavishly on hiring and firing and his most recent managerial swap was poorly judged if transition is what he craved. Abramovich and his advisors should have paid closer attention to events at Old Trafford over the past two decades before being so ruthless in their sacking of Carlo Ancellotti. Sir Alex Ferguson has carried out numerous transformations of his playing sqaud regardless of reputation or prior success. The respect, trust and most importantly authority that has allowed him to draw the line under distinguished careers and are all things that AVB did not possess.

Neither his reputation nor his initial media appearances provided him with trust or respect from the players. But arguably more significantly he was never afforded the authority needed by anyone from the club. There was no “like it or lump it” message delivered to the players, in fact Abramovich began to undermine the man he had entrusted with the project of transtition through training gound appearances and queries over team selection. And so player power remained.

Contrastingly, Ferguson’s authority is in no doubt and has been displayed numerous times with complete backing from the Old Trafford hierarchy. He has both phased out players slowly and made changes with immediacy, a balance needed when performing a successful transition.

In just two years at Chelsea, Ancelotti had garnered significant levels of trust and respect from his players and was popular with the fans. Had it been Carlo Ancellotti informing the likes of Frank Lampard and Didier Drogba that there services were going to be used more sparingly their response may have been more measured and favourable rather than the public dissention which has occurred. Senior players may even have acted as dressing room aides to the manager in easing through change as the likes of Gary Neville, Paul Scholes and Ryan Giggs have been to Ferguson.

Lampard lacking foresight?

Frank Lampard should be especially conscious of the examples of Giggs and Scholes. Ryan Giggs has made 401 of his 901 appearances for Manchester United from the bench a statistic which in no way devalues his contribution to the clubs success and instead has allowed his exceptional abilities to be sustained over a longer period of time thus, enhancing his contribution. Would this not be a desirable outcome for Lampard? Does he not possess the foresight to see that AVB’s more sparing use of him would be beneficial to prolonging his ability to peform at the top level and, as a result, illustrates how important he was to AVB’s project?

He may have done if the news was coming from a trusted superior.  Still, it is dreadfully self indulgent of Lampard to show overt dissent because the manager has the temerity to want to use a 33 year old more sparingly. A grievance even less understandable when noting that Lampard has 23 appearances to his name this season, 20 of them starts, making him Chelsea’s fourth most used player this season. Lampard along with other senior players have a large ammount of AVB’s blood on thier hands.

So what now for Chelsea?

Abramovich may be ruthless in his convictions when sacking the manager, yet paradoxically appears to have no real conviction as to what he actually wants for Chelsea. A trophy-less season despite being proceeded by a League and Cup double was enough to see him lose his nerve when backing Ancellotti’s and a subsequent desire for transition has seemingly been dismantled by the concerns of the clubs senior players.

If there is to be a much-needed end to Chelsea’s regime of player power then Abramovich must choose a more suitable candidate, instil full authority in him and possess the nerve to give him the time necessary to complete the task. If he does not then the player’s desire and ability to maintain status quo will further destabilise Chelsea’s chance of future success.

From Soccerlens.com - Football News

2010 was not the best year for an English football fan. Lots of ups and downs but it was more of a downhill journey. With rumors exploding left and right and captaincy being tossed around like an unclipped grenade, it was chaotic.

Fabio Capello had a tough job. If managing a side like England wasn’t a hard job as it is, the immense pressure projected by the media and the people made it all the more difficult.

Proud Englishmen didn’t approve of Capello just because he’s non-English. Others had questions against his tactics, still others just like to hate.

From the draw against the USA in the opening 2010 World Cup game to the loss against Germany when 1966 came back to haunt them. Emotions hit the roof and the floor several times a minute.

During all that time, English players were not allowed to meet their WAGs. They wanted to spend their footballer’s money and traveled anyway.

You might wonder who were those women? Why was it so important for them to travel with the players and be near them even when their boss forbade them to? Or maybe you’re still wondering about the girl’s behind you saw.

Keeping that in mind, scroll down to find more images to wonder about. Here are the current and former WAGs of the England national football team players:

1. Aaron Lennon (Tottenham) – dating Montana Manning since 2007


Montana seems an inch or so taller than Lennon... but who's complaining?

2. Andy Carroll (Liverpool) – has a daughter with an ex-girlfriend
3. Ashley Cole (Chelsea) – Cheryl Tweedy Cole divorced him after his numerous affairs; he’s now dating Kayla Collins


Cheryl was not his type anyway... Kayla is what he wanted!

4. David Beckham (LA Galaxy) – married to Victoria Beckham since 1999; Rebecca Loos, Nuria Bermudez and Sarah Marbeck claimed to have affairs with Becks


Still Britian's favorite couple?

5. David James (Bristol City) – has four children with former wife Tanya; currently dating Amanda Salmon; also dated Claire Cooper


James with his kids and Claire

6. Emile Heskey (Aston Villa) – who cares? … actually he dated Kylee Pinsent but cheated on her with Chantelle Tagoe, he’s now engaged to Chantelle, a former lap-dancer


Advantage of being a footballer?

7. Frank Lampard (Chelsea)- has two daughters with former fiancée Elen Rives; was linked with Saskia Boxford; currently dating Christine Bleakley


Lampard is 'bleak'!

8. Gareth Barry (Manchester City)- married to childhood sweetheart Louise
9. Jack Wilshere (Arsenal) – having a son with his ex-girlfriend, Lauren Neal, in August 2011


Wilshere & Lauren - parents-to-be

10. Jamie Carragher (Liverpool) – married to childhood sweetheart Nicola Carragher


Mr. & Mrs. Carra

11. Jermain Defoe (Tottenham)- dated Danielle Lloyd; linked with Chantelle Houghton; was engaged to Charlotte Mears


Defoe and Mears

12. Joe Cole (Liverpool) – married to Carly Zucker; falsly accused to have been beaten up at a Keeley Hazell’s party


What a darling couple!

13. John Terry (Chelsea) – married to Toni Poole and was accused of cheating on her with Vanessa Perroncel


They have been through a lot - Toni and Terry

14. Leighton Baines (Everton) – married to Racheal
15. Matthew Upson (West Ham) – has a son with Ellie Darby


Ellie Darby

16. Michael Carrick (Manchester United) – married to Lisa Roughead
    

    Lisa and Michael Carrick

17. Michael Owen (Manchester United) – married to Louise Bonsall


One doesn't play, the other can't...

18. Paul Scholes (Manchester United) – married to Claire


Scholes and his missus Claire

19. Peter Crouch (Tottenham) – dated Lauren Pope; accused of bedding Monica Mint; engaged to Abigail Clancy


Crouchie got quite a lady, now wait till you hear her talk

20. Rio Ferdinand (Manchester United) – has three children with partner Rebecca Ellison


Rebecca Ellison and Rio Ferdinand

21. Scott Carson (West Brom) – married to Amy Barton
    

    Amy seems like a housewife

22. Shaun Wright-Phillips (Manchester City) – dated Crouch’s ex Lauren Pope


*insert Pope joke here*

23. Steven Gerrard (Liverpool) – dated Jennifer Ellison; now married to Alex Curran


Alex and her G

24. Theo Walcott (Arsenal) – in a long-term relationship with Melanie Slade


Melanie met Theo outside the WestQuay in Southampton

25. Wayne Rooney (Manchester United) – married to Coleen McLoughlin; accused to have slept with Jenny Thompson while Coleen was pregnant


If it wasn't for Kai, Coleen might not have been a Rooney anymore

From Soccerlens.com - Football News

Failure to find the back of the net once again, this time versus Wigan, has seen the goal drought of Fernando Torres extend to a remarkable twelve (12) hours.

I had concerns about Torres’ transfer to Chelsea in the first place and now that the Spaniard is continuing to frustrate in front of goal, I’ve decided to outline the key issues that made this transfer a bad idea for Torres and for Chelsea and how Liverpool was the unsuspecting benefactor.

(1) Fernando Torres Wasn’t Needed to Begin With…

Prior to the signing of Torres, Chelsea had four (4) senior strikers on their books- Didier Drogba, Nicolas Anelka, Salomon Kalou and Daniel Sturridge. Ancelotti played a consistent 4-3-3 at the time with Anelka positioned on the right side of a central Drogba in a front trident, leaving Kalou and Sturridge on the bench. So, there was enough personnel at the manager’s disposal. Yes, the strikers were displaying erratic form in front of goal and still are, mind you, but could there have possibly been another solution to that problem, besides bringing in a fifth striker in Torres? That brings us to the next issue.

(2) Buying a Striker Was the Wrong Option…

Chelsea’s central midfield includes the likes of Ramires, Michael Essien, John Mikel Obi, Yossi Benayoun, Frank Lampard and Joshua McEachran. Benayoun and Lampard were out for a while due to injury, leaving Ramires, Essien, Obi and McEachran as the club’s primary midfield options and even so, it’s hard to count McEachran, given the fact that he was hardly given an opportunity. On occasion though, we saw Malouda occupy a midfield role in an attempt to fill the void left by Lampard and Benayoun.

Them aside, the popular choice in Ancelotti’s three-man midfield during Lampard and Benayoun’s absence was Obi, Essien and Ramires. Those three players are not naturally creative players. They are defensive midfielders. Strikers like Drogba and Anelka are strikers who thrive on the creativity of midfield. A lack thereof because of a three-man defensive midfield saw them deprived of the service that is critical to their goalscoring form.

In a situation like that, Ancelotti needed a striker who would drop deep to pick the ball up from midfield and run at defenders with it into the final third. That way, he would’ve been relying on his own creative ability rather than the lack thereof in midfield. Kalou is capable of this and seeing that his  style of play is best suited to that of a wing-forward, he would’ve been better suited to the wide right role Anelka occupied. Although hardly involved of late, it is worth noting that he has seven (7) league goals and three (3) league assists- one (1) more than Anelka and the same amount as Anelka, respectively.

Daniel Sturridge, currently on  loan at Bolton Wanderers, is not only capable of this as well, but he is doing it to devastating effect at the moment. Had he been given more of an opportunity at his parent club, he would’ve done a fine job through the middle in place of Drogba. Florent Malouda has been in a bad run of form of late, but as there were few other options available, he would’ve had to continue on the left flank. Thus, the front trident would have consisted of Kalou, Sturridge and Malouda.

Given that solution, Ancelotti could have made one of two (2) choices- (1) Stick with that tactic until his creative midfielders returned from injury or (2) Buy a creative midfielder if he felt he couldn’t trust Kalou and Sturridge over Anelka and Drogba. Buying a striker, however, was a bad choice. Buying Torres at this point in time, was even worse.

(3) The Torres of Today is NOT the Torres of Yesteryear…

This is not similar to the case of Andriy Shevchenko. We’re not talking about a striker who has failed to adapt to the rigors and style of play of the Barclays Premier League. Fernando Torres became an instant hit and fans’ favorite at Anfield. Goals were flying in here, there and everywhere off the laces of the Spaniard’s boot. A fantastic return of over thirty (30) goals in his first season at the club was vivid evidence of this. Torres had absolutely no problem adapting to the league.

Some time ago, however, he raised a concern- he could only play the English game for so long, given the strain it put on his body. It was dismissed somewhat at that point in time, given the fact that he was still banging in the goals. He had an astonishing scoring record at Anfield and he was among the fastest players to score fifty (50) Premier League goals.

Long-term, however, those words of warning rang true. The year before the World Cup, Torres experienced persistent injury problems that kept him out for long spells at a time. Those injury problems, inevitably, affected his brilliant form for Liverpool and later at the World Cup with Spain, his lack of fitness and form was made more apparent to the watching world. Since then, he has struggled to recapture the kind of devastating form that made him synonymous with Liverpool and cherished by all at the club.

Injuries are not only to blame for the slump of this once deadly striker. Problems on and off the pitch at Liverpool also took a swipe at his confidence. A change of ownership and the sacking of two (2) managers did little to build what little confidence Torres had. Nine (9) league goals and two (2) league assists were all he mustered for Liverpool this season.

His unhappiness at the club was clear for all to see. An exit from Anfield seemed inevitable. Chelsea were long-term admirers, finally saw a window of opportunity to get their man and snatched at the fifty (50) million pound chance. Both Chelsea and Torres displayed a bit of naivety and desperation here and they are paying the price, literally. Chelsea spent a British record fee on the idea of Fernando Torres, not the modern day real thing. Their season was going up in flames, the manager was coming under increasing pressure and they thought the old Torres would swoop in and become the focal point of a late surge to success. Torres was eager to get out of Anfeld. He wanted to challenge for silverware and was not willing to wait on the new John W. Henry regime to pay its dividends. He heard of Chelsea’s interest and jumped at the chance. Both parties reacted in a  knee-jerk manner.

The benefactor in all of this is Liverpool. After all, they got rid of an unhappy and out of form player and gained fifty (50) million pounds in the process! Surely, that’s good business.

How Can Chelsea Get the Best Out of Fernando Torres?

Fernando Torres is a striker who plays off the shoulder of the last defender. He relies heavily on the creativity of midfield. Thus, the return to fitness of Lampard and Benayoun is key to the Spaniard returning to some kind of goalscoring form. Also to be considered is the fact that Torres does not play particularly well with a partner. This was overlooked by Chelsea. At Liverpool, Steven Gerrard was a large part of why Torres proved to be such a success at Anfield. The Spaniard thrived on the opportunities that Gerrard created for him. Torres enjoyed being the focal point of the attack.

At Chelsea, Ancelotti can take a similar approach. He may not have Gerrard, but he has Lampard and Benayoun. Either of them would do a good job playing “in the hole” behind Torres in a 4-2-3-1 or 4-4-1-1 setup. Torres would be the lone striker in the starting eleven (11). Just one goal can kick-start an excellent revival for Torres. After all, look at Bayern Munich’s Mario Gomez now since his tap-in for Germany a little while back. It’s not impossible for Torres. All he needs is a break- a tap-in, a clear-cut opportunity. As long as the player “in the hole” does his job and as long as Torres gets to play his favored role as a lone striker, there will be many chances to come.

Drogba, Anelka and company won’t be too happy about it, but the Chelsea hierarchy would have only themselves to blame for that. Either way, Carlo Ancelotti has to do something to get the best out of someone who is quickly becoming the country’s most expensive flop and Liverpool’s best and probably only reason to look back at this season and laugh heartily.

From Soccerlens.com - Football News

Fernando Torres has now gone nine Chelsea appearances without scoring a single goal. He has appeared three times in the Champions League and made six appearances in the Premiership where he has started all but one league game. So why is El Nino failing to live up to his prolific goal scoring reputation?

Just like Didier Drogba, Torres has been used to playing within a set-up where he is the primary figure and is almost always the first choice. Since arriving in the Premiership, Torres has scored 65 times and accompanied with his impressive performances throughout the qualification for Euro 2008 and South Africa 2010, there is no doubt Fernando is one of the top front men in the world.

Old Torres

During Torres’s time at Anfield, he was paired with a variety of partners but Torres has usually benefited when he receives the most service, playing as a lone striker. It is no secret that Torres was in his best form when he worked together with Steven Gerrard. With Stevie’s influential presence and precision passing they quickly became acquainted with each others game and began reading off one and others movement.

Unfortunately, both Torres and Drogba play through the middle and although their styles are very different, the positions they take up and want to make are very similar. They both enjoy playing along the back line and playing them together could lead them to cramp each other’s space.

Therefore, since Fernando’s arrival, Ancellotti has played around with different formations but has yet to find a suitable match to maximize their number 9’s ability.

Tactical Crisis

One example is the 2-1 win over Manchester United, where Ancellotti opted for a 4-4-2 in which Torres partnered Anelka. Despite Chelsea taking the three points, the forwards struggled throughout the game, failing to gain any understanding off each other and the 4-4-2 formation only served to limit Frank Lampard from pushing forward without having the security of two holding midfielders behind him. Like Gerrard, you get the best out of Frank when he is playing as a ‘second striker’. However, when he sits in a 4-4-2 midfield role, he is restricted to delicately balancing out his attacking and defensive duties.

Furthermore, Ancellotti has had a dilemma when he has wished to play a more attacking formation with 4-3-2-1, which is how Chelsea went out against Fulham. Having two attacking wingers is productive if you have the suitable attacking players, who can take up that role, but Torres and Anelka cannot play on the wing and Drogba has never expressed his delight at playing in that position either.

The Future

So here comes the million pound question, what is the best attacking formation for Chelsea?

For a start Ancellotti should not be trying to force his three strikers to play together simple because he feels he cannot afford to leave two of them out. History has shown us that Fernando Torres is most effective as a lone striker and receiving 100% of the service. You increase your yield from Torres further if you play with an attacking midfielder who acts the second striker; Steven Gerrard played this role for Liverpool. Moving to Chelsea has given Torres the chance to play a similar role, with Lampard acting as second striker.  However, Ancellotti has yet to try this formation out. The reason for this is two-fold. One, a total overhaul of a system that has been so effective for Chelsea would be shortsighted and dangerous, and two, Ancellotti simple cannot afford so late on in the season to be dropping two of his three strikers.

Ultimately a team cannot be changed for one player, but then again if Drogba and Anelka were to leave, Torres would become the focal point of Chelsea’s attack leaving him to play as a lone striker.

But if Drogba sticks around for another season, they must either adapt to their game and learn to play together or Carlo Ancellotti must take the gamble and start playing Torres own his own.

Any critic will tell you Fernando Torres will score for Chelsea and he will retain his devastating form that destroyed Premier League defences in his initial seasons in the Premiership. When this will happen is dependent on where Torres is played; whether with Lampard as a second striker or with Drogba. If it is the latter, it’s crucial they begin to play together otherwise Chelsea will continue to struggle with finding a suitable formation through to the beginning of 2011-2012 season.

If you were Ancelotti, what formation would you choose?

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From Soccerlens.com - Football News

Soccerlens writer Oliver Neto looks at what might happen in the clash of Premier League powerhouses, Chelsea v Manchester United, in the Champions League quarterfinals.

Pre-amble

ITV’s reliably philosophical approach to match previews does not disappoint, with Marcel Desailly’s classically Sartrean eye for the irrelevant ambling manfully through his broken English towards a fundamental point before Andy Townsend produces a verbal tackle reminiscent of his playing days to steal the initiative: ‘United are top of the table, but I tell you what, ‘ang on, Marcel, I tell you what, if they can get bodies in that United box and whip some balls into Drogba, Chelsea will fancy it tonight.’. Poor Marcel winces before brandishing a charming Gallic smile of acquiescence. Balls will be whipped in, Marcel, whether you like it or not.

Pitch-side, Carlo Ancelotti, having emerged from a mysterious puff of smoke, unfurls an enormous Cuban cigar before taking his seat in the dugout, putting his feet up and looking serious. Upon being asked to put out the offending item, the Italian replies, ‘This game may be in England, but I think you will find that this is a European fixture. Perhaps you forget my Champions’ League titles with Milan. My team was filled with ageing local heros, we underperformed dismally in the league and played much less attractive football than we were capable of. And I smoked cigars. Things will not change. I have coached AC Milan and now Chelsea. I have powerful friends.’

First-Half

Sir Alex Ferguson’s esoteric vision of a ‘tough’ away tie should have offered a glimpse of what he had planned. United operate a conservative 4-6-0 formation, with Wayne Rooney as a left-winger-striker and Paul Scholes, Michael Carrick, Darren Fletcher and academy director Brian McClair packed into midfield. Antonio Valencia breaks a metatarsal in the warm-up but still starts on the right. Nani is benched.

Carlo Ancelotti lines up in what appears to be a straight 4-4-2. ‘They’re going for it tonight, Chelsea’ – Townsend.

10^th minute: After 10 minutes of huffing and puffing from both sides, Paul Scholes’ late challenge (roughly thirty seconds) on Florent Malouda pushes Clive Tyldesley to the brink of commentary box orgasm: ‘Oh, it really feels like a good old-fashioned English Cup tie, this!’. Naturally, thunderous challenges, long punts upfield and endless crossing is just what we want from Europe’s crème de la crème.

16^th minute: Michael Carrick begins smacking 50-yard passes in the general direction of Rooney. Rooney actually gets near one of them, and Branislav Ivanovic is forced to come and help Jose Bosingwa. ‘That’s what we expect from Carrick, for him to stamp his authority on a match like this – and Rooney’s work-rate has been absolutely sensational’ – Co-commentator Jim Beglin.

23^rd minute: Bosingwa gives the ball straight to Rooney, who blasts a shot wide. ‘You just can’t keep Rooney out of a game like this!’ – Tyldesley.

31^st minute: Nemanja Vidic and Didier Drogba go for a 50-50 ball near the touchline. Three minutes of furious shirt-tugging and shoulder-barging later, Drogba wins a throw. The remaining 20 players finish the spontaneous tea party begun during their wait and resume the game. Rooney feels particularly strongly that he should have been allowed more time to enjoy his Fondant Fancy, and makes his feelings known to a pitchside cameraman.

37^th minute: Ramires brushes off Carrick and sends a poor cross into the box, but Vidic’s clearance hits Malouda in the face. The ball falls to Torres six yards out and he powers home a glorious finish. Chelsea are ahead, the champions are shaken and Torres’ Chelsea career is finally up and run… – Oh. Torres was about three yards offside. Nevermind, still 0-0, and there is now something to discuss at half-time.

Half-time arrives with neither side holding any significant advantage, but there have been lots of tackles and the referee has been surrounded by swearing players twenty-six times. So plenty for Marcel Desailly and Andy Townsend to discuss.

Desailly: I like Malouda. A lot. And Drogba. Drogba is playing really well. Did you say how he fought Vidic on the ball? Fantastique. And Evra. Evra is trying but he cannot play. Anelka stop him.

Townsend: Well, it’s been a little bit tetchy, little bit bitty – United come here tryin’a hold the line, keep Chelsea out and they’ve done that pretty well. Chelsea – little bit o’ nerves coming in but they started brightly, good understanding between Frankie Lampard and Ramires…I just think that if they can stop tryin’a pass their way through United and just get it out wide to Malouda, get some bodies in there to support Drogba, they can whip some balls in and put United under pressure. They’re cruising at the moment, United.

Second-Half

No substitutions, except for the chewing gum Sir Alex Ferguson has placed in his mouth, having scraped the previous one off the back of his right pre-molar and shamelessly stuck somewhere in David Luiz’s abundant mane.

47^th minute: Torres gives Chris Smalling the slip and fires a shot which is brilliantly blocked by Edwin van der Sar. ‘Ooh, he’s sharpening his sights!’ – Tyldesley.

53^rd minute: United’s midfield looks flat, Rooney starts throwing his arms in the air and Ryan Giggs and Anderson begin warming up.

56^th minute: Ferguson sends on Ryan Giggs for Valencia, but orders Anderson to keep warming up.

60^th minute: Rooney slaloms his way past Bosingwa and Essien before looping a cross over Cech, only for John Terry to fly in with an acrobatic header away from the waiting Giggs. ‘There’s just no stopping Rooney when he’s in this form!’ – Beglin.

63^rd minute: As Anderson starts tucking in his shirt and jumping up and down on the touchline next to the fourth official, Paul Scholes lunges wildly and Essien and is sent off. Anderson sits down again.

70^th minute: A long punt into the box from Ashley Cole isn’t cleared properly. The ball falls to Lampard in, who hits the bar. Clive Tyldesley screeches in shock that the normally effervescent Lampard should miss such an important chance.

76^th minute: Ancelotti sends on Salomon Kalou to cheer up a sulky Didier Drogba.

81^st minute: Sir Alex casually wanders over to the linesman and mutters something. The foreign linesman evidently doesn’t understand the insinuation, so the United manager holds up three fingers before shuffling off angrily.

85^th minute: It’s all Chelsea by this point, with Kalou making inroads and having a couple of shots saved by van der Sar. ‘Chelsea turning the screw on United – can they hold out??’ – a breathless Tyldesley.

90^th minute: Three minutes of injury time awarded. Ancelotti, impassive, lights a final cigar and asks David Luiz to come down from the stands so as to stroke his hair.

92^nd minute: A long punt from Vidic leads to Rooney shrugging off Ivanovic before playing in Giggs, who hits the side netting after his shot is deflected. The referee whistles for full time. Sir Alex Ferguson is incensed, Ancelotti’s cigar runs out and he does not appear to find the gum in David Luiz’s hair, which by now will probably have solidified into a tough, lumpen mass. Much like the two teams on the field.

Final Score: 0-0

Watch out for the Chelsea v Manchester United preview on Tuesday, and you can win £100 simply by placing a bet through us!

From Soccerlens.com - Football News

The games seem to be fizzing by our eyes as we hurtle headlong toward the nub-end of the season though, mercifully, this weekend (5-7th March) represents a chance for the poor, over-saturated footballing pilgrim to come up for air and take stock – proffering forth, as it does, a clear, concise and full round of ten Premier League fixtures with no outside interference from any of those meddling cup games that have been diluting the schedule for the past couple of weeks.

Have Chelsea left it too late?

Thanks largely to a 90-minute bout of resolutely ‘unfair’ refereeing (© Sir Alex), Chelsea managed to snaffle all three-points from under title-chasing Manchester United’s noses at Stamford Bridge on Tuesday evening – leading Frank Lampard to suggest that the Blues may still be ‘in with a shout’ after seeing his late penalty muscle his side to within 12 points of the Premier League summit with a game in hand on United and third-place Man City.

Chelsea will be hoping to utilise the momentum that their victory over United has afforded them by securing a win when they square-off against Blackpool on Monday evening as Carlo Ancelotti‘s side must now all of their 11 remaining Premier League games to have any hope of pipping the teams above and around them to the title.

A flawless haul of 33 points will take Chelsea’s cumulative tally to 81 at the end of the season meaning that, by assuming they beat current league leaders United on May 7th but that United win all of their remaining fixtures, they will still be 9 points behind Sir Alex Ferguson‘s side when the fat lady sings.

Effectively, Chelsea will require United to not only lose against them once again, but for their rivals to drop a hefty wodge of points elsewhere.

Essentially they are now relying on a fairly epic cock-up elsewhere to salvage anything from this season’s league campaign and, while stranger things have happened, it’s not looking particularly promising for Roman’s charges – that’ll teach ‘em that you can’t be abject for three months in the middle and still expect for it to all come good at the finishing line.

Surely now (as Ancelotti has hinted in recent weeks), after months of dismal domestic form, Chelsea have begrudgingly accepted that victories from their remaining Premier League games should be merely pursued as a means to maintain a sense of momentum in the club’s continued bid to snag themselves a maiden Champions League trinket.

So who’s going to win it?

Arsenal. Bang!

At least…I hope they will, for recreational betting purposes more than anything.

Whilst it’s only fair to mention Man City in passing, it doesn’t look like it’s going to be the year for the Premier League’s new-money yuppies, who will need to harvest ten wins from ten games to stand any chance of catching the two sides above them – and even then, Arsenal and Manchester United will have to come up with something particularly apocalyptic if City are going to usurp them both at the pinnacle.

The Gunners still have to play Liverpool and United before the end of the season, but their run-in schedule looks ineffably kinder than that of United – the only side above them in the current standings.

Arsene Wenger‘s side play out-of-form Sunderland this weekend, a game they are both expecting- and are ‘expected to-’ win, leaving them with nine games left to continue gnawing away at United’s current (and perfectly assailable) four-point lead – and, with Rooney and co. veering wildly between the sublime and the resoundingly average throughout the season so far, it’s perfectly reasonable to expect a least one more turn-up for the books.

After missing their chance to end a six-year barren spell in the Carling Cup final last weekend, Arsenal responded with a resounding 5-0 FA Cup win over League One side Leyton Orient which, in turn, set up a quarter-final tie with Manchester United on March 12th.

Their progression through to the last 8 of the FA Cup means that Wenger’s band of tyros will now have to play Barcelona and United within a four-day period before returning to league duties with a game against West Brom the week after.

If anything, fatigue/injury will be Arsenal’s undoing being as they may well be involved in competition on three separate fronts from now until the Champions League final on 28th May – but with such a young talent pool at his disposal, Wenger’s mob may just have the legs to outstrip Ferguson’s ageing (in a relative sense) cronies as we enter the two-horse sprint stage of the 2010/11 Premier League season.

From Soccerlens.com - Football News

Chelsea is a club of the rich and famous, or at least that’s how they carry themselves. From the oligarch owner to the WAG humping center-back, every one walks around like a king. They sure were the king of the hill as their defense of the double started with 12 goals in the first two games. That was all over-confidence as it turned out to have crumbled and the Londoners are not so royal anymore.

Now, we’re not gathered here to talk about how great Chelsea is and how great their players are. We’re here for women – the same reason we go to half of the places we go to.

Neither is this a dating program for the Chelsea fans. We’re just going to show you the women The Blues are dating/have dated. Of course, if we’re talking women and Chelsea, there has to be a mention of JT’s antics with Bridge’s ex. It’s just too much to resist. Capello rightfully keeping the women away from the Englishmen during the 2010 World Cup, because he wasn’t quite sure what Terry might be upto.

Anyways, lets look at some of the best Chelsea FC has to offer:

Cheryl Tweedy – ex-wife of Ashley Cole
What always seemed to me as a mismatch. But I always admired Ashley Cole’s ability to get someone like Cheryl Tweedy and then get her to marry him. Quite some thing.

But Cole just could not have enough. I’m not going to get into the details but the bottom-line is that Cheryl was hurt and since she was no Toni Poole, she could very easily pull off another Ashley Cole or maybe someone even bigger. She had options, I’m sure. Terry must’ve been waiting for her with arms wide open.

More recently, her X Factor colleague reported that she is happily living with ‘beau’ Derek Hough in Los Angeles. Hough is an American choreographer and actor. More rumors indicated that Cheryl is in fact dating 50 Cent.

Toni Poole – married to John Terry
Why point humor at John Terry while talking about other players and their WAGs? Lets just write a couple of paras on him and his wife. Actually, a lot has been said and done about poor, old JT. So, I’m going to let him off easily.

Back in February 2009, when I first posted about Mr and Mrs Terry, I titled the post: John will always be her captain. Today, I realize how right I was.

Toni Poole Terry is not a typical football WAG. She’s good looking and in good shape but she is a retired beautician and she has been minding the twins the couple had in May 2006. They got married a year later in June 2007.

Ironically, Terry was named ‘Dad of the Year’ in a Daddies Sauce survey. In 2010, we found out about his four-month affair with Vanessa Perroncel he had in late 2009.

Christine Bleakley – dating Frank Lampard
The 31 year old Northern Irish TV presenter was engaged to a Dublin-based millionaire until 2005 and later she was engaged to a leisure entrepreneur. But after attending the Pride of Britain Awards in October 2009, she started dating Frank Lampard.

Frank and Christine were seen at a nightclub in London with a group of people from Strictly Come Dancing. They weren’t seen kissing but they were definitely sitting next to each other and looked really into each other. Frank being the man in the club, bought all the champagne for the group.

Christine showed off some of the moves she learnt on last year’s show as Frank only looked on (helplessly maybe).

There you have it. Here is a small list of other women that the people at the club are/were dating:

• Roman Abramovich – was married to Irina Abramovich and now dating Daria Zhukova
• Frank Lamprad – also dated Saskia Boxford & Elen Rives
• John Terry – had an affair with Vanessa Perroncel

From Soccerlens.com - Football News

Pele vs. Diego Maradona

Brazil’s #10 vs. Argentina’s #10. The man who won three World Cups versus the man who won the World Cup almost single-handedly (pun intended). The man who became a football ambassador and businessman versus the man who became a drug-taking, journalist-shooting controversy. It’s the classic player vs. player rivalry.

Which is weird. Because for all the debate about who was better and all the harsh words exchanged (and there have definitely been some harsh words) these men never met on the field, and their careers only overlapped at the very edges. In 1977, a 37-year-old Pele was finishing his playing career with the New York Cosmos while a 16-year-old Diego Maradona was just starting out with Argentinos Juniors. They didn’t even play the same position.

The only reason this rivalry exists is that Pele and Diego Maradona are recognized as the two greatest players of all time. But rather than leave it at that, both men seem possessed by a powerful need to be recognized as THE greatest player of all time, and each seems unable to escape the shadow of the other.

Cristiano Ronaldo vs. Leo Messi

The Pele vs. Maradona argument may be impossible to solve, but Cristiano Ronaldo vs. Leo Messi is different. The two players are similar in age, somewhat similar in style and – most importantly – are in direct competition with one another. When Real Madrid play Barcelona in La Liga, it’s Cristiano Ronaldo vs. Leo Messi.

They will come face to face (injury and suspension permitting) at least twice a year, and in between those games they’re already engaged is a sort of endless shootout, registering almost comical numbers of goals against La Liga’s lesser lights.

You could argue they represent different things. Ronaldo the arrogant big money signing always looking to do something flash, Messi the humble homegrown talent happy to submit himself to the team ethic. But why bother creating a false mythology when over the coming seasons we’re hopefully going to witness two players inspire each other to greatness, taking it in turns to raise the bar and then raise it again. When it’s all over, we could be looking back on the greatest player vs. player rivalry of all time.

Steven Gerrard vs. Frank Lampard

Two attacking midfielders, both of whom score goals from long range, neither of whom likes to defend. They can’t play together. They can play together. They can’t play together. They can play together. Gerrard and/or Lampard was and is the eternal question of the England midfield. In hindsight, they clearly couldn’t, at least if you use the functionality of England’s midfield at major tournaments as a yardstick.

But the question that still remains unanswered is: If England can only pick one, who should it be?

Gerd Müller vs. Jupp Heynckes vs. Klaus Fischer

The three highest scorers in Bundesliga history are Gerd Müller with 365, Klaus Fischer with 268 and Jupp Heynckes with 220. Great stats, but what makes it all the more amazing is that Müller, Fischer and Heynckes all played in the Bundesliga at the same time, specifically from the late 1960s through to the end of the 1970s. That’s what you call a shootout.

Bayern Munich striker Müller was the clear victor in this three-way rivalry, finishing as Bundesliga top scorer a remarkable four times and sharing the honour three times. But throughout that period Fischer was scoring constantly for 1860 München and Schalke 04, as was Heynckes for Hannover 96 and Borrusia Mönchengladbach, either breathing down Müller’s neck or even outscoring him, as Heynckes did in 1975 and Fischer did in 1976.

Roy Keane vs. Patrick Vieira

The Premier League in the late 1990s and early 2000s was all about Manchester United vs. Arsenal. And Manchester United vs. Arsenal was all about Roy Keane vs. Patrick Vieira. Two warrior-like leaders, but also two men who could play a bit as well put a nasty tackle in.

When two competitors like this square-up, you know it’s going to get tasty, with battles on the pitch, fights in the tunnel, and Keane’s legendary line of pre-match questioning: “If you love Senegal so much, why don’t you go play for them?”

Ruud van Nistelrooy vs. Thierry Henry

While Keane and Vieira were seeing who could shout the loudest and who could kick each other the hardest, Ruud van Nistelrooy and Thierry Henry were busy scoring goals. The first few seasons of the new millennium were all about which of these two strikers could fire their team to victory. RvN with his positioning, power and ruthless finishing, or TH14 with his lightning pace and ability to beat a keeper one one one.

Both men won titles and both scored ridiculous numbers of goals, each pushed a little harder by the other. Van Nistelrooy scored 44 in all competitions in 2002/3, while Henry replied with 39 the next season as Arsenal won the Premier League unbeaten. In a nice little parallel, the two moved to Spain within a season of each other, van Nistelrooy to Real Madrid in 2006 followed by Henry to Barcelona in 2007.

Gigi Buffon vs Iker Casillas

With all due respect to Petr Cech and others, these are the two great goalkeepers of the modern era. Men who’ve maintained the highest standards for club and country, and produced save after save after save.

How do we decide between them? Buffon is arguably better at organizing his defence and commanding his box. Casillas is arguably better at making those seemingly impossible game-changing saves. But that’s not to say that either is weak in any department.

Casillas now has the superior medal collection after equaling Buffon’s World Cup win in 2010, but also having two Champions League and a European Championship winners medal to polish as well. But Buffon is still a Serie A and World Cup winner, and may have even more medals had he not shown impeccable loyalty to Juventus after their court-ordered relegation in 2006.

So how do we choose? How about we don’t, and just honour Buffon and Casillas as the two greatest goalkeepers of the modern era instead.

Oliver Kahn vs. Jens Lehmann

Though similar in age (Kahn is just five months older) Lehmann was long Kahn’s understudy for the German national team. And this was fine with everyone because Kahn was outstanding, especially at the 2002 World Cup, where he captained the team to second place. But when Juergen Klinsmann took over as Germany coach in 2004, he relieved Kahn of the armband and announced that Kahn and Lehmann would be competing for the #1 jersey when Germany hosted World Cup 2006. Kahn was not amused.

The two men sniped as they passed the jersey back and forth, with Lehmann eventually emerging victorious by a narrow margin. There was brief harmony during the World Cup when Lehmann famously won a penalty shootout for Germany, and praise from Kahn, and a nice moment when Kahn played for the final time and captained the team in the third place playoff. But verbal hostilities resumed soon after World Cup 2006 with Lehmann saying Kahn takes himself far too seriously and Kahn mocking Lehmann for losing his Arsenal shirt to Manuel Almunia. Long may it continue.

Ronaldinho vs. Zinedine Zidane

The Messi and Ronaldo of their day. Around the middle of the 2000s, Ronaldinho and Zidane were the playmakers for Barcelona and Real Madrid respectively. Both were masters of the unexpected, but there was never any animosity between the two, mostly because Zidane was an old bald man nearing retirement while Ronaldinho was a smiling buck-toothed innocent who liked to dance.

But this rivalry makes the list because in early 2005 someone invented YouTube, which meant that everyone in the internet-connected world was legally obliged to make a Ronaldinho vs. Zidane compilation video (preferably set to music) so that we could all compare the two men’s audacious flicks and tricks side by side in a series of pixelated showcases. Who was better? Who cares! Just click play and enjoy.

Alessandro Del Piero vs. Francesco Totti

The two grand old #10s of Italian football. Two men who have become symbols of the teams they’ve served for nearly two decades. Del Piero at Juventus and Francesco Totti at Roma. Both men hold the records for appearances and goals scored for their respective teams. Fans of those two clubs will argue about which player is better until the end of time, but the players themselves seem content to bask in some mutual appreciation. Here’s what Del Piero had to say about Totti before a game in early 2010:

With Francesco we have been teammates on the national team. I emphasize teammates and not rivals. We are very different, but we have many things in common. We won the World Cup together and those memories will bind us forever. But above all with our clubs we have been, and will be, adversaries. I think that a champion becomes great due to the great opponents he faces. For this I will be happy, tomorrow night (Saturday), to shake the hand of Francesco.

From Soccerlens.com - Football News

Soccerlens bring to you: The Cheaters XI – which is basically just the England squad of the last five or so years (plus a few peripherals) which, you can’t help but feel, may say more about the British tabloid press than it does about the skewed fidelity of our nation’s footballing protagonists!

1. Andy Goram -The schizophrenic (‘there’s only two Andy Gorams!’) Rangers ‘keeper had a bit of a reputation as a lady’s man during his stint at Ibrox, which was bolstered by the fact that he (and his alter-ego) managed to get his ‘bit on the side’ pregnant behind his wife’s back, conduct brief affairs with a retired porn star and a 17-year-old actress and get sent home from the 1998 World Cup in disgrace after an illicit liaison with BBW model Olga Orbs was made public all within the last decade of his 23-year career.

2. Ashley Cole – Thanks partly to his executive decision to boycott sole rights to ‘our’ Cheryl Tweedy‘s nether regions and partly to his ever-present, all-pervading greed, Cole is now booed every where he doth roam – even by onlookers at former Arsenal teammate Sol Campbell‘s wedding!

One of the many straws that broke the Tweedy/Cole marriage’s back was young Ashley’s alleged caper with a South London glamour model, who went straight to the tabloids when the Chelsea left-back sent nude photos of himself to her mobile phone.

3. John Terry – After several weeks of gagging orders and super-injunctions, England captain Terry was finally named and shamed by the News Of The World as the Chelsea player who had been cheating on his wife with the pregnant former girlfriend of one of his former teammates – i.e. Wayne Bridge‘s ex, Vanessa Perroncel.

After retiring from England duty in a bid to avoid Terry at all costs, Bridge duly dodged the chance to ‘shake and make-up’ when his current side, Manchester City, travelled to Stamford Bridge a month or so later.

David Beckham: Nothing sticks to his balls

4. David Beckham – A man who’s had more (mostly baseless) tabloid scandals than you can shake a stick at, ‘Teflon Balls’ has ridden them all out – but none of Becks’ many alleged dalliances have caused quite so much fracas as his brief flirtation with Rebecca Loos – news of which broke in 2004.

In April of said year, the News Of The World (yet again) carried claims by Beckham’s former personal assistant Loos that the two had partaken in an affair of the ‘extramarital’ variety, though the former England captain and his wife of 11 years Victoria have since moved to rubbish the entire hoo-ha.

A week after the Loos scandal broke, Malaysian-born model Sarah Marbeck also claimed that Becks had had his wicked way with her on two separate occasions and only this year, the LA Galaxy star announced that he was forcibly suing prostitute Irma Nici (along with several others) over spurious claims made in In Touch magazine that he had been ‘playing away’ once again.

By the way, Loos was last seen ‘extracting’ semen from a pig on a British reality TV show in the exact manner in which you are imagining it to have happened right now.

5. George Best – The sport’s original playboy, many of Best’s philandering antics are considered as ‘genesis’ for today’s hordes of cash-rich, imagination-starved footballing ne’er-do-wells.

During his frequent circulations round the burgeoning club scene of 1960′s Manchester, the Northern Irish wizard amassed more girlfriends, mistresses, one-night stands, sweethearts and ‘bits of rough’ that you could possibly fathom with your puny human brain.

It’s a good job he was so damn good on the pitch, or Best would have probably ended up at the bottom of the Shipping Canal before too long – especially given his insatiable penchant for ‘other men’s wives’ and all.

Zahia Dehar: The jailbait tramp that brought French football to it's knees

6. Franck Ribery – The Bayern Munich winger was fingered (along with national teammates Karim Benzema and Sidney Govou) for soliciting favours from underage French prostitute Zahia Dehar in a summer scandal that swept through Les Bleus‘ set-up and threatened to derail their entire World Cup campaign – hindsight can be a real bitch sometimes.

For the record, Ribery is said to have flown 17-year-old Zahia from France to Germany on several occasions and paid up to £2,000 per night for sex, that was until police raided the notorious Champs Elysee brothel from which she and 18 other nymphets were operating.

7. Gianluigi Lentini -At one point in 1992, Italian winger Lentini was the most expensive player of all time, having moved from Torino to AC Milan for a fairly hefty £13 million fee.

A year or so later, the 24-year-old was in a coma having crashed his sports car into a ditch at well over 100 kph after allegedly being spotted leaving the house of Italia ’90 star Toto Schillaci‘s estranged wife by a group of Milan fans.

Lentini fractured his skull but thankfully made a full recovery, though he was unable to deliver on the early promise he had shown at both the Granata and the Rossoneri.

Garrincha (L): Brazilian legend and goat botherer extraordinaire

8. Garrincha – The legendarily stumpy Brazilian winger is just as (in)famous for his long list of personal indiscretions as he was for his uncanny ability to tear open opposition defences in the years between 1955 and 1966.

Having lost his virginity to a goat at the tender age of 12 (him, not the goat), Garrincha duly set about humping everything that he – if you’ll excuse the pun – came across for the next 30 years.

So far, paternity tests have proven that Garrincha spawned fourteen children during his lifetime, though there are another 24 of his potential offspring still claiming to be products of the former Botafogo forward’s fertile loins – most of which have nothing to do with either of his two wives.

9. Peter Crouch -  For some reason, the Tottenham beanpole cheated on the rather lovely Abbey Clancy with a teenage prostitute that he picked up on a stag weekend in Madrid.

Fledgling skank Monica Mint then sold her stroy to the tabloids, claiming that Crouch had paid her a ridiculously specific £829 for a hour of naughty times – though, as Clancy has since confirmed that she has a bun in the oven, it would appear that all has been forgiven.

Ronaldo got more than he bargained for back in 2008

10. Ronaldo – R9 slides in at 10. Back in April 2008, Mr Nazario de Lima was reported to have dropped his girlfriend (now wife) Maria Beatriz Antony off at her home in the suburbs of Rio de Janeiro and then gone kerb-crawling for three prostitutes to bonk.

With a suitable trio of ‘professionals’ in tow, Ronaldo checked into a motel and was just about to let all hell break loose when he had the misfortune of discovering that his trio of ‘women of ill-repute’ were all actually ‘very feminine men of ill-repute’.

The buck-toothed Lothario attempted to pay the ‘girls’ off in return for their silence, but before long every Brazilian news outlet worth their salt had the story splashed across their front page. What’s the world coming to when you can’t even trust whores anymore?

11. Wayne Rooney – Rooney had previously enjoyed several £45′s worth of ugly-bumping with ‘Auld Slapper’ Patricia Kierney and brief £140 council house romp with teenage prostitute Charlotte Glover, before finally unveiling his piece de resistance earlier this year.

After eight months of doleful domestic form and a simply horrific World Cup with England, Rooney finally ‘fessed up in September that he has been cheating on his pregnant wife with £1,200-a-night rich-girl hooker (‘Juicy Jenny’ Thompson) in a Manchester hotel for the past couple of months.

Such class.

On the bench: Stan Collymore (Dogging), Mark Bosnich and Dwight Yorke (Cross-dressing orgy), Frank Lampard (Spanish chaffeur), Oliver Kahn (Heavily pregnant wife? What heavily pregnant wife?) The Israel side of 1999 (Why are there used condoms everywhere?) Malcolm Allison (snapped with a naked pornstar) Tommy Doherty (had an affair with the Man Utd physio’s wife)… etc… etc….

Also see: Football’s 10 Biggest Playboys | Footballers, Girls, and Scandals.

From Soccerlens.com - Football News