April Fools Day
Since April 2007, Soccerlens puts up a series of harmless, fun (for others if not for the supporters of a particular club) fake news items every 1st April. Here they are – read, enjoy, and and join in next time if you’re interested.
Capello to hand captaincy to Gareth Ainsworth for Switzerland qualifier
In order to avoid a repeat of the media circus surrounding the issue of the England captaincy, Fabio Capello has pre-emptively named his next captain for the World Cup qualifier against Switzerland on June 4th. In the presence of the assembled media, the Italian schemer revealed with trademark clarity: “I choose new captain for game…
Real Madrid promise £100m for Cristiano Ronaldo – Manchester United cash in
The article below is an April Fools Joke. The real story of Cristiano Ronaldo’s transfer to Madrid is here. In the most expensive transfer in the history of professional sports, Real Madrid have committed to paying 100m for Manchester United’s Cristiano Ronaldo. In a move that David Gill described as ‘the textbook definition of too-good-to-refuse’,…
Manchester United Sex Scandal – Ronaldo, Rooney, Anderson and Nani in US orgy
Manchester United’s fearsome four have established their reputation not only for their brilliant football but also for their sexual exploits, the likes of which have never been revealed to the mass media before. Sources close to Wayne Rooney have revealed the grand exploits of this foursome with their conquests ranging from the top of Hollywood…
Tottenham confirm bargain £30m deal for 4 Manchester United players
Juande Ramos has decided to splash the cash in Manchester United’s direction with Tottenham picking up a host of stars from the Manchester United firesale. Tottenham are reported to have struck deals with United keeper Ben Foster, former Tottenham midfielder Michael Carrick as well as French internationals Louis Saha and Mikael Silvestre. The combined deal…
Chelsea confirm deal for £30m Manchester United defender
Chelsea have reached an agreement with debt-ridden Manchester United to buy the England and Manchester United captain, Rio Ferdinand. Rio Ferdinand will cost Chelsea £30m, and the amount will go some way towards helping the Glazers pay off Manchester United’s mountain of debt.
Arsenal to buy Manchester United duo for £30m
Arsenal have decided to bolster their squad by splashing big for the first time under Monsieur Wenger. Backed by Alisher Usmanov’s millions, Arsenal will spend around 30m to bring Owen Hargreaves and Carlos Tevez from Manchester United to the Emirates. Manchester United have been eager to offload their star players this summer in a bid…
Usmanov buys out Arsenal board, DD returns with JM as AW and CF jet off to Barcelona
In a stunning takeover, Alisher Usmanov has bought out Stan Kroenke AND the Arsenal board, giving him ownership of more than 80% of Arsenal and effectively making him the ruler of all things Arsenal. Shocking as this news is, it might be least of worries for Arsenal fans – 2 of the most important people…
Manchester United to sell players and stadium to pay off £700m debt
BURIED under mountains of debt and interest payments, Manchester United’s American owners have decided to cash in their star players and get rid of the club’s debt in an ambitious plan to be debt-free by 21 December 2012. With Manchester United expected to win the Premier League second year in a row and also win…
Liverpool fans consortium confirms £500m bid for Liverpool FC
A consortium of Liverpool fans have outlined their plans for buying out Tom Hicks and George Gillett for a staggering £500m, making a fan-based takeover imminent and throwing Liverpool FC smack in the middle of a possible bidding war between the fans and DIC. The fan-based consortium (called “We Heart Liverpool”) have promised a total…
Roman Abramovich to SELL Chelsea and go back HOME
Chelsea have been the most successful club in the Premier League ever since Roman Abramovich took over – 2 back-to-back titles and if the Premier League were to finish today, 3 2nd placed finishes that put them ahead of Manchester United and Arsenal in the last 5 years. And yet this has come with a…
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