If there’s something that must be said, but cannot be said within blogging / journalistic confines, this is the place to say it. We’ve used this column to poke fun, to provoke and to just say our minds.
There could be tough times ahead for Luca Toni. The Bayern Munich striker, just recently crowned Bundesliga champion and currently leading the scoring charts with 21 goals, may soon be confronted with an unsurpassable obstacle… of the robotic kind. Its name is Goalias (or GoalIAS if you prefer), and it’s the first robot-goalkepeer capable of defending a regular-sized football goal.
Written by Marco Pantanella. 8 comments
The World’s Most Influential People in 2008 - Time 100.
I’m sure one can find many flaws with this list - as opinions go, everyone has one and we all think ours smells of roses. Fair enough, and I’m sure the editorial team at TIME magazine did their due diligence when compiling this list.
But having said that, and keeping in mind that this list was compiled not through public opinion but through the filter of what some people think matters most in the world, who put Kaka on this list?
Written by Ahmed Bilal. 21 comments
Earlier this week Sir Alex Ferguson made an off-the-cuff remark which directly compromised the integrity of Premier League managers and the very institution of football that we, as fans, put their faith in.
He was answering a question about Eriksson’s predicament at Manchester City, and he said:
Written by Ahmed Bilal. 6 comments
Looking through the Soccerlens mailbag this week we came across a letter from a Premier League player who is facing a difficult dilemma. As always, Soccerlens can help.
Dear Soccerlens,
I am faced with an impossible decision at a crucial stage in my career. I don’t know what to do for the best and I am told that you are the people to come to for advice. I certainly enjoy reading Graham Fisher’s stuff, I really don’t think he gets paid enough.
I am twenty-seven years old and am a one club man. I skipper my team and everyone here likes me. I have played at centre-half, left back, left midfield and am now one of the best central midfield players in the country. I must be because I’ve got eighteen England caps to prove it. So put that in your pipe in smoke it.
Written by Graham Fisher. 42 comments
Photo Caption: Grant thinks Kenyon was joking when Chelsea picked AG as manager - the ironic bit is, Kenyon might have been.
Both Avram Grant and Rafael Benitez have been locked in various off-pitch wrangles lately. Grant with the press and the fans and if the media is to be believed, players. Benitez with the owners, the board and Neil Warnock.
Both managers recently wrote in to Soccerlens to let off some steam and get some answers to their problems. Here’s how that particular exchange went:
Written by Graham Fisher. 6 comments
Juve’s managing director Luciano Moggi seems to think so:
Written by Ahmed Bilal. 5 comments
Don’t call me Hugo any more. I’m English, don’t you know? So you have to change my name. At school, P.E. teachers insisted on branding me “Steckel”, although I suppose I should just be grateful I escaped that awful nom de plume that is the quintessentially British “Macca”.
It’s 10:30pm, and a day both frustrating and unproductive has truckled obeisantly past. I’ve seen the interview with “La Radio” yabbering on about “Berba/The Assassin” and “Keano”. “Curbs” is frustrated – who wouldn’t be? “Stevie G” and “El niño” just won’t stop scoring, and “the Pope” feels a little more secure on his Anfield throne. They once had a cocaine-snorting “God” in Liverpool, you know? They say anything’s possible up north.
As you will have made out from my opening paragraph, this post is going to be about NICKNAMES, and I must extend a note of thanks to my father, who was responsible for informing me about Fitz Hall’s ingenious moniker “One size”, and to Hall himself for inspiring this article. A shout out also to former Everton player Neil “Dissa” Pointin and QPR’s on-loan Chelsea midfielder Michael “Haunted” Mancienne.
Written by Hugo Steckelmacher. 17 comments
This article was partly inspired by this incredible piece from the Guardian.
As anybody who has heard me talk about the Premier League, and even European football in general, will tell you, I don’t speak very highly about Arsenal Football Club. I never found any reason to respect them. It seemed all they did was blame referees and bring the game into disrepute.
However, after paying more attention to the mass media lately, I have found that Arsenal (and their manager) are worthy of my respect, even though it still remains very much a love-hate relationship.
Written by Liviu Bird. 27 comments
“It’s just a game. Twenty-two stupid men chasing a ball around a pitch.” We’ve all heard it said. In fact, when our team have lost a game we have even been known to say it ourselves. Usually after the fourth or fifth pint.
Bill Shankly once famously said that football was more important than life and death.
Apart from my friends and family I am somewhat ashamed to say that Football is the most important thing in my life. I know that many people in the world would think that makes me a very sad individual indeed, but I’m not alone.
If it is one of the most important things in my life then surely it can’t just be a stupid game. If it is not as important as friends and family then it surely isn’t more important than life or death.
So that’s what I am going to try to look at today. Why is football so important to me and to millions of others? What is it about the game that takes over my life?
Written by Graham Fisher. 10 comments
So, a twenty-two year old goalkeeper has been charged with blackmail against a Premier League footballer. The story is that currently club less Goalkeeper Ashley Timms, is accused of demanding £15,000 from an unnamed player.
He appeared at Manchester Magistrates’ Court on Saturday charged with making an unwarranted demand for money with menaces between March and April 2008. Mr Timms was granted bail and the case was sent to Manchester Crown Court for a preliminary hearing on 18 April. Magistrates made an order banning the publication of the Premier League player at the centre of the allegation. Of that we should be grateful.
Mr Timms, from Ashton-under-Lyne, Greater Manchester, was once the goalkeeper for Manchester City’s under-19 team.
Obviously it would be wrong and unlawful to speculate on this particular matter, but it did get me wondering just what a Premier League Footballer could have done to have warranted being blackmailed. I thought they were all drug taking, alcoholic, bi-sexual, womanising wife beaters anyway? Allegedly.
The second point is why would someone only demand £15,000? Back in 2006 the average wage of a Premiership footballer was £676,000 per year. That would mean someone blackmailing me for about £500. Doesn’t seem worth it really.
Written by Graham Fisher. 4 comments
Award-winning blogger Laurie writes:
Ever wonder what leads up to a photo like this one? How it came to be that the most beautiful players on the teams end up swapping shirts with each other?
Of course you have. Admit it.
Once again, we have the answers. Here’s how it went down after the first leg of the Roma-Manchester United Champions League quarterfinal:
What follows next is quite funny. Check out Laurie’s piece on shirt-swapping at The Offside and just for kicks, read her article on Soccerlens from last year.
But Laurie…is it just coincidence that you manage to bring in David Beckham into everything you write? 
Written by Ahmed Bilal. Leave a response
On one hand, he’s a good looking chap (when he can keep a straight face) and an ‘effective’ striker (when he can find his bearings, is motivated and doesn’t have to jump).
On the other hand, he’s woefully underused at Liverpool, even though he’s had more than a handful of substitute appearances. As he himself says, he needs to be playing regularly, but the irony is that if he plays for a smaller club (say, Everton) he’s not going to be as noticed as he would be at Liverpool (even if he plays regularly) and if he stays at Liverpool, he won’t get enough chances to stake a claim for an England berth.
All this points to one thing only - that he’s not good enough to be starting for a Big Four club, and he’s probably not good enough to start for England either. Mind you Crouch lovers, I’m saying this based on the ambitions of clubs and country as opposed to any slight on his playing talents.
But Crouch is unlikely to move away from Anfield this summer. We know why Rafa signed him, and I think I know now why Rafa is so keen to keep Peter Crouch at Liverpool:
Written by Ahmed Bilal. 8 comments
After I read Graham Fisher’s superb article about Cristiano Ronaldo, I was reminded of something from last year. I saw a goal by Ronaldo, along with his resulting display, against his childhood team, Sporting Lisbon. I wrote a blog about it on 19 September 2007, and believe that it would serve as an interesting complement to Graham’s piece.
Written by Steve Amoia. 2 comments
Manchester United’s fearsome four have established their reputation not only for their brilliant football but also for their sexual exploits, the likes of which have never been revealed to the mass media before.
Sources close to Wayne Rooney have revealed the grand exploits of this foursome with their conquests ranging from the top of Hollywood to the slushpile of non-humanity (and beyond).
Their most famous escapade involves an amazing sex-filled romp on a booze-filled night with two famous sisters, a baby, a Marilyn Monroe wannabe and a goat. All this happened in late 2007, when the four Manchester United stars jetted off to a secret bonding session to Miami, where they met with their *friends* in a 8-person orgy.
Written by Ahmed Bilal. 6 comments
In the midst of all that is serious in football; in between arguing who your team should sign and who is the biggest threat to England’s qualification for the World Cup, we should all take a little time and enjoy ourselves. For this purpose I came up with a little game to take your mind to a place with tangerine trees and marmalade skies.
The goal of the game is quite easy: identify the managers or, if you cannot, pick one to manage your hypothetical team. In this batch of six there are four average managers, one idiot and one genius. My goal is to deceive you and make you pick the either idiot or an average guy if you cannot identify them so I will use every tool possible except lies. Everything here is true but a lot of information is withheld:
Written by Andrei. 17 comments
First off, as a sort of disclaimer I would like to start off by conceding that I am by no means an expert on the topic of football fanzines. I have read a few in my time, but have not yet had the good fortune to contribute to one. Much academic work has been carried out on the subject – for instance, a paper by Richard Haynes immediately springs to mind – but this academic hobnobbing is not necessarily accessible for the average fan, nor does it have any great presence on the general football scene.
Written by Hugo Steckelmacher. 3 comments
Pelé, Maradona, Joe Butcher. Which is the odd one out? Err, who’s Joe Butcher? Yep, it’s Joe Butcher. The other two are the greatest players ever to have lived and Joe Butcher is nobody.
Half right.
Joe Butcher is indeed the odd one out. He was born in the midlands, the other two were born in South America. But, eh? Half right?
Written by Oliver Fowler. 4 comments
Little, it seems, can stem the tide of false news and rampant speculation that comes our way from tabloids and news sources in general. There are some obvious culprits and some less so - but overall, there’s a lot that’s published in the papers with the deliberate intention of misleading the readers (whether the motivation is to create false news to gain more readers or to carry out a vendetta against a particular point of view or person).
There’s little one can do to stop this - but in some very rare cases (such as today) the offended party stands up and smacks the offender upside on the head with the threat of a lawsuit.
Written by Ahmed Bilal. One comment
Now think about that headline for a second - doesn’t it make you curious? Doesn’t it jump out at you as a paradox - regardless of the terms (and they were not as bad or acrimonious as the media would like you to believe) Mourinho left Chelsea on, for him to say something like this to the fans and players he loves? So crude and so violent - it’s almost as if you’re dreaming.
Except you’re not, and the headline is a play on what Mourinho said - less vicious but equally interesting and superbly calculated.
Written by Ahmed Bilal. 8 comments
Images courtesy of AC Cugini Scuola Calcio.
Each year, AC Cugini Scuola Calcio (Football School) takes young players on tours of Italy where they compete against Italian teams. This summer, there will be an added bonus: 5 days with ACF Fiorentina, one of the oldest clubs of the Serie A, and the next opponent of Everton in the UEFA Cup.
Written by Steve Amoia. Leave a response
This is my first post in a while so I thought I would talk about the less than serious points of the beautiful game. I have one very simple question to answer in this article; what would a footballer do if football didn’t exist?
To put it kindly, footballers would have bugger-all in terms of usage to the modern world if they weren’t professional athletes. So how stupid is the average footballer? Well this article is going to show you just how daft they sometimes can be if we never had football, and the footballers are going to explain why themselves in some rather funny sound-bites.
Written by Shaun Daley. 13 comments
As a writer on this site, a site that takes it’s football seriously and looks to go into some depth to analyse the game, I am constantly reading, talking to people looking at fansites etc, in order to find the big news stories and try to make sense of them for the readers.
There is no doubt that football is big business now and there is an insatiable appetite for news, scandal and gossip within the game.
The fact is that many people earn their living from the beautiful game and reporters, journos and writers need a constant source of material.With that in mind I would like to take you through the main stories in the English football world today.
Written by Graham Fisher. 6 comments
He hasn’t scored in the French Ligue 1 since December 8, and in the African Cup of Nations, his performance was average at best. What on Earth seems to be the problem for Ivorian striker Aruna Dindane?
Dark magic, that’s what. At least according to some people back in Africa…
Written by Marco Pantanella. Leave a response
I haven’t been a full-time football writer for very long. I absolutely love doing it, and I genuinely think I’ve got an opinion worth sharing. It isn’t always one that many people agree with. In fact, in some cases it’s hard to find anyone, but it usually lead to good debates, which is what writing opinions is all about. I’ve played at a reasonable level (It was a decent pub team) and I’ve been watching the game for nearly forty-years. Like every other football fan in the world I think I know about the game. Why the FA turned to Capello when I was available I just don’t know!
I just want everyone who reads these pieces at Soccerlens, and elsewhere, to realise that putting your opinions and predictions on paper is far from easy! I try my best, I really do, but already on this site my opinions are all there to come back to haunt me. Let’s have a look at some of the evidence:
Written by Graham Fisher. 3 comments
Our thoughts to go Arsenal’s Eduardo da Silva, a talented young footballer who will miss the rest of the season (and maybe the rest of the year, what with rehabilitation and getting match-fit) and especially Euro 2008. Good luck with your recovery mate, get well soon. Also, props to Wenger for retracting his comments on Matt Taylor.
On to today’s round up of takeovers, turncoats, floatation devices and the maladjusted in our society. Yes, floatation devices.
Written by Ahmed Bilal. 15 comments
While we wait for the least-important-cup-final-for-Premier-League-clubs, let’s look at today’s news (or lack thereof).
Written by Ahmed Bilal. One comment
A shirt worth its weight in gold. Litterally. Latest news on Friday: France has officially changed its team sponsor. Yup, no more Adidas for Les Bleus, enter Nike. The contract (which should run from the period of 2011 to 2018) has apparently been reported to amount €320m (£240m) for the period of 7 years, making the French blue shirt the most expensive ever in the history of football.
Written by Marco Pantanella. 2 comments
Friday, 22 February, 2008.
A very good morning to you, dear Soccerlens readers. Got an email this morning from Hugo telling me that he was emailing a few organisations to see if he could find some slaves for us. Or something to that effect. I’m pleased, of course, but a bit concerned Hugo - are we going for this or this?
Anyway, on to the real stuff.
Written by Ahmed Bilal. One comment
Paul Gascoigne has been detained under the Mental Health Act following an incident at a hotel in Newcastle.
Written by Ahmed Bilal. 3 comments
From Pitch Invasion:
Like Manchester United and Wimbledon fans before them with FC United of Manchester and AFC Wimbledon, Liverpool supporters aim to start their own grassroots supporter-run club, AFC Liverpool, in non-League football.
Written by Ahmed Bilal. 15 comments
