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President Sepp Blatter: ‘FIFA Is Not Corrupt, There Are No Rotten Eggs’

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FIFA’s erstwhile despot president Sepp Blatter has branded the English as ‘bad losers’ in the wake of the recent World Cup auction which saw Russia and Qatar purchase the rights to host the 2018 and 2022 tournaments respectively.

Upon crashing out of the ‘ballot’ in the first round with a paltry total of two votes (one from themselves, and one from the main butt of BBC Panorama‘s ‘potentially devastating’ exposé into the institutionalised corruption within football’s governing body – Cameroonian ExCo member Issa Hayatou), the England 2018 team reacted with a flurry of frothing self-entitlement and a brief swathe of measly protests, which were all about as half-cocked as the bid attempt itself.

In a collective fit of pique, depressingly predictable public accusations of venal corruption and two-faced glad-handing were also levelled directly at FIFA by both the English bid team and their associates and by the national press at large – thus serving to further widen the gaping schism between the FA and their international overlords.

Speaking in an interview with Swiss magazine Weltewoche, Blatter described the English backlash :

“To be honest, I was surprised by all the English complaining after the defeat. England, of all people, the motherland of fairplay ideas.

Now some of them are showing themselves to be bad losers. You can’t come afterwards and say so and so promised to vote for England. The results are known. The outcome came out clearly.”

Blatter also claimed that the decision of the English, Australian and American bid teams (who were all snubbed) to openly criticise the guarded voting process exposed the ‘arrogance of the Christian western world’:

“I really sense in some reactions a bit of the arrogance of the western world of Christian background. Some simply can’t bear it if others get a chance for a change.

What can be wrong if we start football in regions where this sport demonstrates a potential which goes far beyond sport?”

Blatter continued by explaining his life-long dedication to breaching new corporate frontiers:

“It’s my philosophy to drive forward the expansion of football. The next regions that we need to conquer would be China and India.

Football has become a political matter. Heads of state court me. Football has become a monster, but it’s a positive monster.”

Why stop at Indo-China? To the best of my knowledge, Narnia haven’t hosted a World Cup yet.

You could feasibly argue that, if it was FIFA’s pre-determined manifesto to take their showpiece tournament to new, untapped territories, they should probably have disclosed that fact before the bidding commenced two years ago – as they could have saved a lot of ‘arrogant Christian westerners’ an awful lot of money.

Be thankful though that, thanks to Sepp and his band of morally astute cohorts, we can sleep sound in the knowledge that FIFA is not, will not be, nor has ever been a corrupt institution:

“Nobody can come along and simply hold out their hand. There are no rotten eggs.

There is no systematic corruption in Fifa. That is nonsense. We are financially clean and clear.

“We need to improve our image. We also need to clarify some things within Fifa.”

Presumably ‘things’ like how they’re going to divvy up that near-bottomless vat of petro-dollars they all stand to get their slavering, grubby mits on in about 12-years time.

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Comments (5)

  1. Of course FIFA is not corrupt and it was England trying to purchase the bid and Blatter has to goto freezing Russia and burning Qatar.

  2. Blatter is right… well maybe not about FIFA being squeaky clean in all departments, but certainly about England being bad losers and the 2018-22 vote being clean.

    Have you noticed it’s only English people who seem to be shocked that England only got 2 votes and convinced the poor result can only be because something is amiss with FIFA?

    I’d write more but after writing what I wanted to say I decided it would be best to submit a whole article to Soccerlens instead, so look out for that :)

  3. It’s not a matter of being bad losers. Being beaten fair and square is one thing but being led down the garden path is another. I never had any doubt that Russia would get the event as it was always Blatter’s wish for it to go there.
    The bid business was more or less a sham as the voting proved. A huge amount of time and effort was put into the bids by the various parties – and most of it was a total waste of time as the 2018 venue was virtually predetermined.

    This is by no means sour grapes as, on a personal front, I’m quite pleased England didn’t win. But, I have a feeling that Blatter has gone too far this time and over the next two years the birds will slowly come home to roost in the FIFA building.

  4. Arguably true. So many of the pundits interviewed on Sky Sports in the run up to the vote were asked what they thought considering England had the ‘best technical bid’. They all said none of this matters, the choice is largely due to the opinions / gut feelings of the 22 men who get a vote.

    If this is the case then perhaps they should just say, right, who wants to host it? Spend perhaps a couple of weeks looking at the technical aspects and then draw up a shortlist by eliminating those without the technical ability to host a tournament, or who have hosted one too recently. Then give those on the shortlist a month or two to knock together a short presentation stating their case… then vote, bish bash bosh Russia wins.

    I think this is the sort of problem you’re hinting at Biffo. The bidding process is far too long, and intensive and technical for something that comes down to 22 men and gut instincts.

  5. FOUL A 400 PAGE BOOK PUBLISHED BY HARPER COLLINS IN2006 BY AN INVESTIGATIVE JOURNALIST ANDREW JENNINGS PROVES QUITE CONCLUSIVELY FIFA IS CORRUPT. BLATTER TRIED TO GET THE BOOK BANNED BUT FORTUNATELY WAS UNSUCCEFUL. 400 EXPLOSIVE PAGES DETAILING THE SECRET WORLD OF FIFA. BRIBES, VOTE RIGGING, TICKET SCANDALS, PAYOFFS FOR THE EXCLUSIVE USE OF FOOTBALLS/MERCHANDISE ETC. IN AUSTRALIA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN FOUND GUILTY OF FRAUD FOR LESS.I HAVE TRIED FOR THE PAST 6 WEEKS TO GET SOMEONE IN AUTHORITY TO READ THIS BOOK AND HAVE NOT HAD ONE POST PUBLISHED OR RESPONSE FROM ANY SPORTS JOURNALIST. BOOK AVAILABLE FROM http://www.harpercollins.co.uk