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  1. Van Der Sar Confirms Retirement: How Do United Replace A Legend?

    As the venerable Paul Scholes remains undecided as to whether his sainted, 36-year-old legs have another year at the top left in them, a fellow member of Manchester United’s veteran old guard has broken ranks and revealed that he intends to call time on his career at the end of the current season.

    Upon the culmination of 21 years of unbridled professionalism and excellence, ‘keeper Edwin van der Sar has confirmed that he will hang up his gloves this summer.


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  2. Sky Sports Wield The Axe As ‘Sexism’ Witch Hunt Rumbles On

    The sanctimonious ‘sexist’ witch hunt that is currently permeating the glossy facade English football coverage is showing no signs of abating today, with fresh clips of otherwise-vidicated Sky anchor Richard Keys hee-hawing about colleague Jamie Redknapp’s sexual conquests now doing the rounds – and, such is my remit here on Soccerlens, I’m afraid that I’m duty-bound to tell you poor sods all about it.


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  3. Andy Gray Teeters As Second Sexist Tirade Leaked

    Just when it looked like Sky Sports pundit-in-chief Andy Gray (along with presenter Richard Keys) was going to worm his way out of having to face any tangible punishment for his overtly chauvinistic guffawing, a second denigrating video has been leaked – by Sky News, no less – that may just cost the gittish Scot his lucrative ‘job for life’.


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