Liverpool 8-0 Besiktas – 6 Nov 07 – Live Blog

FT: What can I say? Liverpool completely outplayed Besiktas from start to finish! It was almost a Tom Huddlestone vs. A room of pies situation. There was only ever going to be one winner. That’s it from me… I’m off to bed. Have a good night. Watch some porn before you sleep. It will relax you after the adrenalin pumping Liverpool performance.

90 Mins: Four Minutes extra time announced, but the ref takes pity on Besiktas and blows the whistle! What a performance from the Reds! I think I’m the only one that predicted 8-0. (I may or may not have changed my prediction after every goal.)

88 Mins: GOOOALLLL!!! THERES THE RECORD!!! 8 Nil! The brilliant Israeli Benayoun places an inch perfect cross for Crouch who steers it expertly past the keeper with his head.

87 Mins: Babel completely ignores the offside flag and races past Ankan. Cisse gives him a kick for his trouble.

84 Mins: Finally Besiktas have a shot on target. Bobo’s header is saved by Reina. Babel than gets a chance to get his hat trick. Instead he heads the ball firmly against the cross bar. All he had to do was to keep his header down. Liverpool need a goal to break the Champions League record.

80 Mins: GOAALL!!! Carragher pumps it forward, Diatta misses it in the air and the other defender manages to hoick it onto Babels arse. The ball loops over Ankans head. Babel’s delighted.

78 Mins: GOOOAALLLL!!! Lovely football from Liverpool. Kewell gets the ball on the wing, plays it to Riise who plays it wide to Benayoun on the right who cuts it back to Babel who back heels home! Fantastic!

78 Mins: Ricardinho on for Mehmet

76 Mins: Kewell decides to follow Riise’s example. He smashes the ball into the stands. I remember Kewell being a fine player when the dinosaurs were here… No idea what happened to him after that.

74 Mins: Riise starts showboating. A long range effort sails miles over. It’s like Lampard for England, except Liverpool don’t suck.

71 Mins: Subs. For Liverpool. Voronin comes off for Kewell, Lucas on for Gerrard. What a performance from those two today. Didn’t I say Voronator is brilliant (hint: I didn’t)

68 Mins: GOAALLLLL!!! t’s carnage! A one two Voronin and Gerrard smashes it home. Humiliation for the Turks. It’s like the Crusades again (If you’re reading a text book written by some British guy. The Turks reckon they won those.)

64 Mins: Two fantastic saves from Ankan. First Gerrard races clear of Diatta and Ankan sticks his hand out to save it. It falls outside the box to Babel, who absolutely hammers it towards goal. The shocked Ankan scrambles across to tip it wide. The corner is wasted.

62 Mins: Sub for Besiktas and Liverpool. Higuain on for … someone. Aurelio comes off for Babel. Seems like Benitez has a thing against the Turks.

58 Mins:
Markus Merk takes pity on Besiktas. A hand ball in the box is not given.

Just before that, there was a brilliant piece of football from Liverpool. A through ball was played to Gerrard who raced away down the wing and placed in a low cross, which Crouch miscued past the post. Shocking Miss! Lucky for him it was offside.

55 Mins: GOOOAAALLL!!! Hat Trick for Benayoun. Powerful free kick from Gerrard, which Ankan can’t hold onto and Benayoun gleefully tucks it away. 4-0 to Liverpool!

52 Mins: GOOOAAALLL!!!! Benayoun again. Voronin dribbles into the middle, plays a cute ball to Riise, who absolutely hammers it at Ankan, who palms it to Benayoun who strokes it home.

49 Mins: Gerrard races for the ball, as does goalkeeper Ankan. Ankan gets there first and gets a boot in his neck as his prize. Free Kick.

48 Mins: The commentators are laughing at the Turkish League. They follow up the chuckles with “No disrespect to the Turkish League”, followed by more chuckles. Charming.

46 Mins: And here we go.

Mistake! For the second goal, it wasn’t Riise that crossed, it was Voronin.

Half time report: Phew! It’s tough this Live update thing. Liverpool have outplayed Besiktas completely thus far. I’ve had more competitive sessions on PES6 with my 6 year old sister.

45 Mins: Riise hoofs the ball forward. Crouch flicks it on, and the (surprisingly) dynamic Voronin flicks outmuscles two Besiktas defenders and heads it towards Benayoun. The ball won’t come down though, and the defense easily block his shot. And with that… Half time.

44 Mins: Free Kick to Liverpool. Close marking on Voronin, leads to a foul about 35 yards out. Gerrard smashes the effort wide. Very Lampard-esque.

40 Mins: Benayoun smashes it into the crowd. Good move by Liverpool. Good interchange between Gerrard and Voronin before Benayoun decides that the man in the stands deserved to have his face smashed in. He misses.

37 Mins: Gerrard almost powers past Diatta, but Diatta gets a vital touch. Crouch shoots into the defender, and Besiktas clear.

35 Mins: Unlucky for Besiktas, replays show that the throw in came off Riise. Still, a corner for them. Which is wasted. Easily cleared by Liverpool.

31 Mins: GOOOAALLL!!! Benayoun! 2-0! Riise races clear on the throw, has one man to aim for in the center. Finds Benayoun, who controls superbly before smashing it past the Besiktas Goalkeeper.

29 Mins: Arbeloa loses the ball on the wing but wins it back straight away. Charges into the box, but instead of going for it, he squares to Voronin who blasts it straight into the defender. Shocking. Besiktas follow up with an attack… and by attack I mean a crap cross that is easily handled by Hyppia.

28 Mins: Diatta takes it off Crouch as he shapes to shoot. You’d think with his legs he could reach the ball before anyone. I guess not.

24 Mins: Crouch seems to have gained a load of confidence following his goal. Tries to smash in a ball from a Maniche like angle. Wide.

23 Mins: Gerrard tries to play a through ball to Benayoun. It gets tangled in Banayouns legs.

21 Mins: Corner for Liverpool. Arbeloa’s long range effort (cross) is tipped over by the goal keeper. The corner is met by Riise’s massive head. And cleared off the line.

19 Mins: GOOOAALLLL!!! Peter Crouch gets a one on one with a keeper, who makes a decent save. He strokes the follow up into the back of the net.

17 Mins: The ball comes off Diatta for a… goal kick. Crouch’s long legs seemed to have distracted the linesman. Gisele Bundchen + long legs = hot. Crouch + long legs = Spidery freak.

13 Mins: Good work by Arbeloa, he cuts it back to Benayoun who sticks his leg out and skews the ball onto the post. Liverpool look dangerous. Someone from Besiktas got a yellow a couple of minutes ago for charging into Mascherano.

10 Mins: Great ball by Benayoun, who plays in Arbeloa. The Right Back rampages forward, before a poor final touch means he loses the ball. He charges into Diatta out of frustration.

7 Mins: Quick Free Kick, Riise Crosses and the Crouchatron misses a good chance with his head. He heads it about a foot wide. Who cares if a big player has a good touch if they can’t head the frickin’ ball?

4 Mins: Voronin misses Liverpools first chance. Crouch heads it down, although he didn’t know much about it and Voronin waited before he took the shot and slammed it wide. Expected. Voronator my arse. If the Terminator were so pathetic… Than we wouldn’t have had to watch the crap that was Terminator 2 (Or 3)

2 Mins: Early Chance for Besiktas, Memet squeezes past Carragher and knocks the ball just past the post.

1 Mins: And we’re off

Hello All, Welcome to Soccerlens live coverage of Liverpool’s do or die Champions League Round 4 match vs. Besiktas at Anfield.
To communicate with me, just post in the comments. Than any comment that I like (ie that praises me) gets mentioned on the main post. You might as well praise me, y’know. Seeing that if you don’t, I’ll just make up imaginary quotes.

OK. So About 20 mins. to kick off.

Rafa gives the Crouchatron a rare start, who starts up front with Voronin. Dirk Kuyt has been dropped to the bench.

The Liverpool side is: Reina, Arbeloa, Carragher, Hyypia, Riise, Benayoun, Aurelio, Mascherano, Captain Steven Gerrard, Voronin, Crouch.
Subs: Martin, Finnan, Kewell, Torres, Kuyt, Babel, Lucas.

Besiktas: Hakan Ankan, Serdar Kurtulus, Mehmet Sedef, Delgado, Bobo, Diatta, Cisse, Ibrahim Uzulmez, Serdar Ozkan, Koray Avci, Ibrahim Toraman.
Subs: Rustu Recber, Mehmet Yozgatli, Higuain, Ricardinho, Ali Tandogan, Ibrahim Kas, Batuhan Karadeniz.

I stand by my prediction 4-2 to the Pool. And here we go with those Heineken Ads.

Join us 15 minutes before kickoff (20:45 GMT) as we cover Liverpool’s fight to stay in the Champions League live here on Soccerlens.

Aah! Another fine night of Champions League football. Watching giants of football stick 7 goals past helpless defenses from countries that you didn’t know existed really livens up a boring day.

And so we head to Anfield for the next round of the Champions League group stages.

Match Information:

Liverpool vs Besiktas
Anfield Stadium
Tuesday 6th November 2007
Kickoff: 20:45 GMT

Liverpool v Besiktas Preview

Last seasons losing finalists were expected to stroll through a group widely considered to be the most easiest handed to the English teams. Porto (After losing their best defender to Real Madrid), Besiktas (Galatasaray’s Turkish b*tch) and Marseille (currently festering in the relegation zone of Ligue 1, unsurprising seeing that their strike force is spearheaded (I don’t even know if you can call it spearheaded… Maybe… a really, really blunt spear… Made out of rubber… Old rubber) by Liverpool reject Djibril Cisse.).

In all likelihood this was supposed to be the match in which Rafa Benitez could indulge in a rotation orgy, climaxing by bringing on Jack Hobbs of the youth side. Sadly football doesn’t work out the way (Liverpool) fans want it to, and today’s match is do or die for the reds. Stuck at the bottom of the group with a single point to show for their first three games, Liverpool require a run of three straight wins to ensure qualification. A loss today and it’s all over.

With a porous looking defense, led by an apparent early sufferer of Alzheimer’s Sami Hyppia (Because he forgot how to defend! Get it? *Chortles at my own wit*), and Jamie Carragher’s sudden urge to rugby tackle anyone in the box (Sooner or later, someone (Hopefully the ref) has to see it). It seems Liverpool won’t be winning it by means of a clean sheet.

Maybe their midfield? Except for the fact that their silken playmaker Xabi Alonso is injured, and has been replaced by Momo Sissoko, who’s only similiarity to Patrick Vieira is that he’s big and black (Racism!!!).

No problem than, they still have one of the finest young strikers in the world in Fernando Torres… except that he’s touch and go for the match, and the last time he was rushed back from injury he looked off the pace. But than there’s the Crouchatron. Well… Yes. If Benitez decides to play him. Which he probably won’t, due to his affection for what I can only assume is his love child, Dirk Kuyt. My only guess is that Crouch is dating Benitez daughter and he caught them going at it. That’s the only logical answer. (By the way… Is Elsa Benitez related to Rafa in any way? If she is… Rafa has the greatest genes… EVER)

But it’s not all bad for Liverpool. Their skipper Steven Gerrard has been in inspirational form, despite his fetish for Hollywood long balls and pot shots over the bar, when he’s on form (like now) Gerrard is one of the best (If not the best) midfielders in Europe. He has shown over the last three years, that he can sigle handedly lift a side (Liverpool) to victory, even when he’s surrounded by inept fools like Djimi Traore, Igor Biscan and Dirk Kuyt (Harsh I know).

As For Besiktas… They come from Turkey… they have just lost two games in a row… One of their defenders (Gokhan Zan) is injured.

As far as the head to head record between the sides is concerned. Besiktas are ahead. They’ve played each other once, with Besiktas winning 2-1. However, Liverpool have never lost to a Turkish outfit at Anfield, and so should fancy their chances.

My Prediction: 4-2 to Liverpool. I reserve the right to change this prediction, because I’m the writer. And I hate to be wrong. That is all.

Except it’s not. Soccerlens (ME!!!) will be covering this fixture live from 19:45 GMT. Be here, or be… somewehere else. I don’t really care. Except I do. Please come and read the live commentary here. It’ll be enjoyable, like look at my Sami Hyppia joke! Comedy Gold! If you come here, you can look forward to an entire 2 hours (almost) of brilliant side splitting comedy (Check Sami Hyppia joke, if you still need convincing).

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