Pavlyuchenko a boyhood Spurs fan and how Fabregas never played for Barcelona

Pavlyuchenko a boyhood Spurs fan and how Fabregas never played for Barcelona

After a week in which Robbie Keane declared his undying love for Liverpool, David Bentley announced Tottenham Hotspur had ‘always had a piece of his heart’ (presumably a piece he managed to ignore while he was playing at Arsenal), it was only inevitable that Spurs target Roman Pavlyuchenko revealed he has had the club’s emblem tattooed on his shoulder since the tender age of 4.

“I have always loved Tottenham Rovers,” the Russian striker confided to numerous Tottenham board members in an interview on his website. “When I was a baby in the womb I kicked whenever anyone mentioned Glenn Hoddle. My first memory is watching the 1982 cup final when Spurs beat Queens Park Rangers, and since then it has always been my dream to play for them.

“I only eat Walkers crisps just to feel closer to Gary Lineaker. Even though I have played for another team all my life and never visited England without the Russian national team, I am as Spurs-mad as Bobby Zamora or Dimitar Berbatov.”

In short, ‘please sign me.’

Footballers always follow their heart though. Other revelations this week included Pascal Chimbonda’s remarkable admission that he used to play on the sands of Guadeloupe in a Sunderland shirt, despite numerous old friends struggling to recall it.

Many people had wrongly labeled the right-back, who famously handed Wigan a transfer request minutes after their relegation from the Premiership in 2006, a ‘mercenary’ who ‘bottled penalties,’ but will now doubtless understand that the player was simply responding to a personal calling which he could not ignore.

“I used to dislike him,” said one Wigan fan we spoke to. “But now I see he’s just living his dream to play for Sunderland. And who can possibly complain about that? That’ll be why he went to Spurs in the first place.”

Chimbonda confirmed this. “I am here to make a genuine title challenge,” he said. “No, it’s definitely not just for the money.”

Some players were clarifying their allegiances before transfers were even discussed. This week Cesc Fabregas denied he had ever been affiliated with Barcelona, thus hinting the door was still open for a move to Real Madrid in the future.

“I can see why people would think that an ex-Barcelona youngster, who was born, raised in and started playing for Barcelona, who came through the Barcelona youth team and who went to his first Barcelona game at the age of 9 months, would have more pride and loyalty than to sign for their biggest rivals Real Madrid,” admitted the midfielder.

“That would undoubtedly be quite disloyal. The thing is though, I’m not one of those people. I know why you may think that, what with all the Barcelona memorabilia I used to have in my room as a kid, and the pictures of me training with the Barca youth team. Actually though, that’s all a mistake.

“The blue and red bedspread I used to sleep in was actually due to my life-long devotion to Aldershot Town who play in the same colours, and when you think you see me in a Barca shirt, it’s actually just my dad’s stripey pyjama top.”

That is all without mentioning Harry Kewell.

How nice to see such dedicated modern footballers, and how refreshing to know they’re not all as selfish as that nasty Ronaldo who wants to play for his boyhood team.

The Armchair Fan promises to bring you all the stories from the football world which you will have missed in the regular press – check them out at his website.

Topics: Arsenal, English Premier League, Features, Football Transfers, Liverpool, Off The Record, Sunderland, Tottenham, Wigan

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17 Comments

  1. gooney

    hahahaha .. ROFL ..
    great sense of humour, mate .. nice one.

    not sure why these players have to say things like this .. u just cant take them seriously.

    August 1st, 2008 @ 18:17
  2. IQATL

    Yeah, great, funny or whatever you want to call this crap!

    Some people just need to get a life…

    August 1st, 2008 @ 18:29
  3. Spursmad

    Tragically I’m sure some of these hilarious fictional comments will be selectively picked up and printed as true by other blogs, websites and redtops!

    August 1st, 2008 @ 18:40
  4. AhmedShah

    LOL.. “..Spurs mad like Bobby Zamora and Dimi Berbatov”, haha..Zamora’s mad about Spurs ??? Berba’s just been at WHL, and he’s mad too..ROFL..!!!

    August 1st, 2008 @ 18:49
  5. ashwin

    Great article……

    this the reason why manchester united have become very sucessful for a longtime…….their engine room is a very loyal one….no single player in the whole league can b mentioned in the same breath as giggs , neville , solskjaer or scholes….some scousers will shout gerrard’s name ….but their heart knows what efforts it took to make him opt out of a move to chelski…….in the sense carragher deserves better praise….

    for the future, man utd have squad players like fletcher , oshea,brown(the best backup CB in the league)and overseas player like park who are man utd to the core….wes brown transfer matter was blown up ….it was good to see the player sign up again for life……

    red devils can take pride in their players(leave out the scum ronaldo)…..these players stick with the club through thick and thin and these players are the real engine room on which players like ronaldo thrive on…No club in the priemership has such a privilege….

    as for other clubs, i think most clubs are not first loyal to their players……nobody makes fringe players feel important as united do…..Look at the case of Evans ….the main reason why pique was sold was to compliment Evans good showing on loan and Sir Alex was also loyal to pique selling him back to barca at a cut rate price. These activities symbolize what manutd are all about….

    players like ronaldo may come and go …. but man utd will be the no 1 in the world till this culture thrives

    August 1st, 2008 @ 18:50
  6. Eddie Griffin

    It’s always good to get a light-hearted look at things, especially one of the most discussed topics of the summer. \Excellent article David.

    August 1st, 2008 @ 20:12
  7. Ishaq(South Africa)

    BRILLIANT FUCKING ARTICLE…Good Riddance to articles about the MLS and how the Mls tranfer system works

    August 1st, 2008 @ 20:53
  8. bigdave

    What a stupid article do your really believe everthing you hear in the media.. Fabregas has always said he is a life long Barcelona fan, he would never join there rivals Real and he is loyal to arsenal and the cause.

    Bentley on the other hand is just disgusting, talented but brainless… he claimed he was a life long gooner with the rest of his family.

    He claims he wants to play champions league football on a regular basis… so the idiot decides to join spurs and says … oh yeah I use to actualy be a lifelong spurs supporter

    what a pratt

    August 1st, 2008 @ 22:34
  9. epochery

    one of the few decent blogs this summer, I am still waiting for the pictures of little Robbie Keane running around in his Liverpool shirt with John Barnes or Ian Rush on the back!

    August 1st, 2008 @ 22:42
  10. Ahmed Bilal

    and Adebayor says his heart is with the gunners…and that he ‘never ever’ said he wanted to leave Arsenal…touching.

    August 1st, 2008 @ 23:28
  11. Ahmed Bilal

    Ade, earlier this summer:

    “I am being considered a worthy replacement for Henry while not deserving his salary. Yes, I am still under contract to Arsenal but it’s up to the directors to satisfy my demands or I’ll leave.”

    August 1st, 2008 @ 23:30
  12. Liam

    Epochery; there is a good chance that he did support Liverpool. There are really only 3 teams that are supported in the masses by Irish children, United, ‘pool and (not so much anymore) Leeds

    August 2nd, 2008 @ 00:45
  13. BRFC fan

    i cant stand bentley. even as a rovers fan, i think he is talented but to put it nicely, a little bastard twat! no wonder wenger got rid of him. as for fabregas, i admire him as a player. he will leave one day but he is as humble as u can get. even if he was being offered 200,000 at real, he wouldnt leave! just shows the difference in personalities between cesc fabregas, and that wanker who plays for utd!

    August 2nd, 2008 @ 02:28
  14. Jake

    Nice satire you’ve got there. The one about Fabregas is top-notch!

    August 2nd, 2008 @ 04:12
  15. BD Condell

    Very funny. You forgot Robinho though. Pissed off by Real Madrid after being offered as a makeweight in the Ronaldo deal he’s suddenly become the love child of Philippe Scolari!

    August 2nd, 2008 @ 11:53
  16. Liverpool_Fan

    To be honest im glad Benitez never pursued Bentley, a really overrated player and for the sake of not using bad language I will restrain myself from expressing how i feel about his attitude.

    To me Fabragaes is a bit immature but he is young and I admire his loyalty to his club he has pledged his future to Arsenal and I wouldnt put any money on him putting on a Real Madrid shirt anytime soon.

    The Pavlyuchenko quote is absolutely hilarious, I hope it was supposed to be a joke.

    I didnt hear anything about Robbie being a Liverpool fan either until we were linked with him. When the first rumors rose up I heard a lot about him being a life long Celtic fan.

    August 2nd, 2008 @ 23:37
  17. Andrei

    Nah, that was Roy Keane, who’s a Celtic fan.

    August 3rd, 2008 @ 17:28

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