F**K Football!
not loving it...
Whether you’re a Gooner, a Geordie, or a Kop, the most obsessed of us lot all have one thing in common – at one point or another, we’ve all been hurt and betrayed by our beloved football club before.
It’s the kind of unparalleled hurt that you’ll only wish upon the worst of your enemies and child rapists. It’s the kind of betrayal that eats you up inside but there’s not a damn thing you can do about it. Sort of like getting laid off from work only to find out that your best mate’s your direct replacement.
YOU DON’T KNOW THE HALF OF IT
Try explaining it to those who have no allegiances to the world of football and you’ll be throwing your hands up in exasperation with the conclusion that “these idiots are never gonna get it!”
I tried explaining it to my mum once and she looked at me as if she just found out that her born-and-bred in Singapore daughter, is really an alien. She said, “Wait, you want me not to buy the papers, turn off the TV for the whole day, and switch off the radio whenever the news is on, all because a football team halfway across the world lost one match?” The truth is there’s just no way of explaining something as irrational as being utterly devoted to a team – so devoted that its failures might as well have been your very own.
My mum has ‘wisened’ up though. These days when she sees me moping around and keeping my distance away from any form of Internet connection and sports news, she goes “Aahh…I see. Arsenal lost ain’t it?” and punctuates her vicious sentence with an annoying, knowing grin guaranteed to turn any moderate fan into football hooligans.
FOOTBALL F**KING HURTS!
Football hurts. And sometimes, it can hurt like f**k. Isn’t it awful how we keep coming back for more even though we’ve been inflicted with a pain like we’ve never known before, time and time again? You keep watching matches even though just last week, you threw your remote at the TV and swore that you heart will never have to endure the torment again. You keep wearing the team jersey even though you fear you might need to be on life-support if you have to sit through another one of those effing derbies where your team concedes late goals and end their title hopes. Like sadomasochists, we just keep going at it no matter how gutted they make us feel!
Sure there are moments of pure ecstasy when your football club starts a winning streak but you know damn well that at some wicked bend down the road, they will obliterate your feelings without any respect for you at all. And then you’d just have to deal with the pain any way you know you can. Some bash the heads of their rival-fans in, some wallow over a pint and others, watch High School Musical 1, 2 and 3 on re-run. My ritual includes curling up in a ball like a sorry little sod, in the hope that if I don’t hear anything about the losses or the costly draws, I can pretend that they never happened. They say misery loves company so please share all those dealing-with-football-losses rituals with me!
GUTTED GOONER (ARSENAL 4: SPURS 4; 29th OCT 2008)
Yesterday, Spurs came up from a 2-goal deficit to draw level with us. It is hands down one of the most painful and sickening derby memories ever for me…impounded by that jiggly dance at the end of the match courtesy of Arsenal’s Public Enemy Number 1, David Bentley. It’s the kind of scene that makes you want to yell “F**K FOOTBALL!” And vow never to watch another Arsenal match ever again. If you’ve got a similar memory that made you feel this sick to your stomach and scarred you for life, feel free to rant here.
Despite the terrible blow, today this gutted Gooner woke up and realized that she can never give up on her lover of ten years. The fact of the matter is, supporting a football team is a lifelong commitment with no get-out clauses. If just like me, you sometimes find yourself wondering what the hell you’ve gotten yourself into, just remind yourself that it’s the kind of stuff that ‘till death do us part’ is made of.
Written by Aishah Hamza, who also writes at the Fever Pitch.
This article is a submission for the Soccerlens 2008 Writing Competition; to participate, please read the details here. The competition is sponsored by Subside Sports (premier online store for football shirts) and Icons (official signed football jerseys).
At least as an Arsenal fan of the last 10 years you have had plenty of highs as well. Imagine if you were a Spurs or, God forbid, a Leeds fan!!
I completely realte to your post bad result feeling and behaviour. i do exactly the same but always seem to recover after a few days in exile.
As for worst games, I have too many to recall.
Losing to Leeds in the 1970 cup semi final 2nd replay; losing to Arsenal in the 1979 Cup Final after coming back from the dead with 2 goals in the last 5 minutes; losing to West Ham in the 2nd last game of the ‘91/’92 season to concede the title to Leeds. i could go on and on but as a Man utd fan I have little to complain about, in recent years anyway.
LOL i have to say, it was like reading a collection of my own thoughts, that had just happened to jump straight out of my mind onto paper.
when Liverpool lose, especially a game that we are widely expected to win and by a comfortable margin, i go through the 5 stages of grief, Denial and Isolation.Anger.Bargaining.Depression and finally Acceptance just in time for another round of edge of your seat adrenaline filled football.
my very first experience of heartbreak with Liverpool (certainly not the last) was when a certain mister M. Thomas scored a last minute goal to hand the gunners the league. looking back that was the start of things to come..
thank god for istanbul, that helped to lay a small portion of the decade and a half of pain to rest.
a great article, anyone with no understanding of football should read this, at least they might be able to get an insight to the mind of a true football fan.
YNWA
Alwaysandforeverared, Even as a Man Utd fan I can relate to your feelings on that Thomas goal. With the trauma Liverpool had to endure that year it was gut wrenching to lose the title like that.
BD Condell and Alwaysandforeverared thanks for the kind words and for sharing your gut-wrenching moments!
It’s great to know people are feeling the same way. It’s just plain torrid trying to explain to non-fans how much it affects us. Maybe as more share their experiences, non-fans reading this will sortof understand why we react the way we do!
Astute observation. Totally relatable.
Things are made worse when my job requires me to scan multiple news sources around the world every day. Not only can I not go into exile, it’s rubbed in my face in multiple forms of presentation, complete with catchy titles that always sound more insulting when your team’s on the gutted end (at least 10 different titles for that 4-4 draw, argh).
But yeah, it’s probably quadruply worse for supporters of the non-top teams, particularly those who were born into their allegiances in footballing towns (with the exception of Hull this season). My colleague in London grew up with West Ham, and it’s not easy to come up with consolatory words for him constantly. I can’t start imagining growing up in Leeds.
The good news for him is, lately the Gunners and Hammers fans really have a lot more in common than not. So, for now, it’s brothers in arms.
no no thank you it was a great read and a good way to start the day off. its always good to hear or read peoples thoughts that marry up to those of your own.
Well Aishah, during the period of the Invincibles times must have been great for you. I mean going through an entire season without any heartaches or pain of a loss must have been one hell of a memory. But sadly times have greatly changed for the Gonners. When they were 4-2 up against Spurs some of the Arsenal players even tried to play fancy in the penalty box instead of taking a shot which might have been a goal and suffered greatly in the end. After Hull City happened to you this season i can understand if your hair has turned slowly turned white but hey there is always Home United to support.
“My ritual includes curling up in a ball like a sorry little sod, in the hope that if I don’t hear anything about the losses or the costly draws, I can pretend that they never happened.”
My god – it’s like you’ve seen right into my soul…
Great piece, Aishah. My my – the competition’s hotting up, alright…
I can pretend that they never happened
I hear that comes rather easily to Arsenal fans
Spurs – Man City FA cup game. Spurs up 3-0 and Joey Barton with a red card at the half. Truly, truly gut wrenching to lose 3-4. I just walked around dumbfounded and perplexed for days.
Ye, I certainly know what you mean.
Even when my supported team, Liverpool, lose a game and I am tearing up inside, I don’t usually say I will never watch another game again or anything like that.
I am only 16 years old, so I have not witnessed too many absolutely terrible moments, but there was one match last season when I just got so angry and depressed that I did vow to myself that I would not watch another Liverpool game for ages.
It was in the Carling Cup quater-final defeat away at Chelsea, which I have to admit was a strange fixture to feel so emotionally about, because it is the least important trophy on Liverpool’s checklist. I was absolutely furious, but my mental state was much more torn up and depressed than before. Very weird.
I know the feeling
Latest occasion, Manchester United losing to Liverpool this season
I don’t even want to talk about it anymor
Home United! Haha classic. That actually made me feel better
Nah…it happens to the best of football fans! We just walk around like zombies the whole time trying to shut off the world. You know that REM song that goes "Everybody hurts sometimes"? That should be the anthem of all football fans man.
Btw, you're part of Soccerlens team right? Thanks for organizing this. I'm sure all of us appreciate this platform to showcase our work. Most of the articles submitted are really quality pieces!
Hello Sam,
Losing against any other of the Big 4 is always hard to swallow (no matter what the occasion) so I totally get what you mean! A close friend of mine is a Liverpool fan as well but she reacts a little bit differently from you. Whenever Liverpool lost last season, she directs her anger at the opposing team i.e. at Chelsea etc. But you seem to be solely angry and depressed at your own club? For me it's a little bit of both
Thanks for the kind words Fredorrarci. I read your article on Club vs Country and thought you offered cogent solutions to the enigma. Thank God where I come from, there'll never be a problem of club vs country because as nuts as we are about football, the clubs we support always come first. We're one of those small footballing countries that should be "put to sleep", as you suggested in your article.
Ahh….Joey Barton…the boy's trouble. Everytime he's in a game it's like a calamity waiting to happen ain't it Spurschick? Kind of like what you would expect from Titus Bramble haha.
Something that might make you feel better:
http://www.football-england.com/charlton_7_hudder...
Huddersfield leading 5-1 with 20 minutes to go..lose a player and then lose the game 6-7..
well i know how u feel..being a leeds supporter for the last 10 years hasn't been very easy as well
Its all about passion…
Tell me about it. When my mighty reds lose, nothing makes me happy. But we win together and lose together. Sadly I wasn’t into football from the age of 5 and I didn’t really understand why my brother was so affected when his team lost. It isn’t easy for someone who’s not interested to understand. My mom thinks I am crazy to feel sad. She can still say that they’ll get paid even if they lose. I am now in it for life and it is a priority. I don’t mind going through phases of shit cos when we finally win, it’ll be f***ing sweet!