Fergie Time: The Truth About Paul the Octopus

fergie time

Welcome to Fergie Time, a roundup/newsletter type deal that delivers news, opinion and links directly to your screen. As the name suggests, there will be some exaggeration, nsfw moments, canceled press conferences (oh, who are we kidding) and late, late, late scoring of points. You’ll like it, trust me.


Last week we had Champions League action and all that juicy Wayne Rooney drama. Plenty to talk about. This week we’ve had the Carling Cup and a dead octopus. So the only really big story has been FIFA, Sepp Blatter and the vote rigging/buying/selling allegations surrounding World Cups 2018 and 2022.

Could the death of Paul the Octopus and the revelations about FIFA executives be related? I suspect that while Paul was famous for his predicting skills, his real job was using all eight arms to keep a lid on FIFA’s various corruption scandals. How else did he know the results of all those World Cup matches?


“One can ask oneself whether such action, trying to set traps for people, is appropriate.”
– FIFA President Sepp Blatter. Either he was reacting to the Sunday Times sting operation which caught FIFA executives attempting to sell their World Cup 2018 and 2022 votes, or he was offering an early review of Saw 3D – The Final Chapter. Both will end messily.


Best goodbye goal: Was scored by former Fulham and USA striker Brian McBride this week, when he turned our for Chicago Fire of Major League Soccer in the final game of a long career. Receiving a pass from Calvin Klein underpants model Freddie Ljungberg, McBride let the ball run across him, then scored with a flick of his trailing leg.

Worst goodbye present: Lifesize Lego statue that makes you look ill. Also Brian McBride.

Biggest Losers: PSV 10-0 Feyenoord should not be a football score. It’s more an early stages of a cricket match score (PSV have 10 runs for no wicket). Or maybe it’s just a typo, and PSV simply beat Feyenoord 1-0. But no. It really was 10-0, and there’s video to prove it.

Best comedy massage: Mr. David Beckham, proving that either a) he has a great sense of humour, or b) he’ll do anything he’s told:


Depends where you live. If you’re in the North East then it’s clearly the Newcastle United vs Sunderland derby. If you live in the West Midlands then it’s Aston Villa vs Birmingham. But for glamour lovers it’s Manchester United vs Tottenham Hotspur. The absence of Rooney, the presence of Chicharito, and a chance for Spurs to overturn a certain stat that’s preventing people taking them seriously as a big big team.


According to @OptaJoe, “Spurs have won none of their last 67 matches away from home against the Premier League’s “Big Four” since August 1993.” That was before Rafa van der Vaart and Gareth Bale though, so Saturday’s game is worth watching.


In the Wolves vs Manchester City game, which sees Karl Henry square up to Nigel de Jong. There’s no telling exactly what will happen when the Premier League’s two toughest tacklers go for the same spherical object, but I’m thinking it will be very much Halloween appropriate.


On the latest episode of 3 Up Front, the boys discuss the death of the classic #9, the Fergie-Rooney dynamic, and work out which players were the best value for money signings of the past decade. Listen to episode 11 of the podcast to find out.


Week 10 of the Soccerlens Fantasy Football Game is upon us. Take a look at our list of the Premier League’s goal scoring midfielders, then pick your eleven, play the weekly competition and win some prize money.


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