Do you want to be the next West Ham manager?

Do you:

  • speak good English?
  • talk about football?
  • know the Premier League?
  • have peers who respect you as a footballer?
  • help out younger players?
  • like London?
  • think you are a charming fella who promises anything he’s asked to promise?
  • support a club other than West Ham?

According to well-placed sources, this is the exact set of questions that Nani asked the managerial candidates during his recent search for Curbishley’s successor.

If you answered yes to all questions, you should immediately apply for the post of manager at West Ham United. Gianfranco Zola might have pipped you to the front of the line this time, but next time you will definitely have a decent shot at being the next West Ham manager.

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