Fergie: Dear Calderon, please leave Ronaldo alone
NB. The following article is a spoof letter addressing a current issue within the game. It is intended to be light hearted and is not intended to offend anyone. If you are a reader who does not enjoy this feature on a Monday, please spare yourself the agony of reading it!
This week, due to my personal contacts within the game at the highest level I have managed to obtain copies of an exchange of letters between two of the top men in European football who come from two clubs that one of the men describes as ‘great friends’. Sir Alex Ferguson has written to Real Madrid President Ramon Calderon regarding the issue of Cristiano Ronaldo and Calderon has replied in his own honest and ‘above board’ way.
Dear Ramon,
I just thought I would write a short letter asking if you wouldn’t mind easing off on the Cristiano Ronaldo speculation a little bit.
I thought I should clarify the situation for you a little as I know you wouldn’t do anything deliberately to unsettle one of the players at Manchester United, your great friends.
The fact is that Cristiano has actually signed a contract with us and is going to be one of our players for some time to come. You were obviously unaware that we that we have signed him and that he belongs to us, or you wouldn’t have caused all this fuss.
Cristiano is quite a good player and I would be disappointed if he decided to play for one of our European rivals. Whilst no player is irreplaceable, I am not sure I could find another young man to score me forty-two goals again next season.
You see, back in 2003 when I paid over twelve million pounds for a young player who had made only thirty-one league appearances for Sporting Lisbon, many people thought I was mad. He had only scored five goals at the time and it was a huge gamble. It was me who took that gamble, it was me who recognised the potential brilliance of the player and it was me who gave him his chance. I’m sure you would understand if I got slightly miffed if someone tried to steal him from me.
In April 2007, that’s just over ONE year ago, Cristiano signed for us until 2012. That’s another FOUR years. We are paying him one hundred and twenty thousand pounds per week and I am very happy with our investment. I was unaware that there was any problem with Cristiano seeing out his contract with us until I saw that you had told the newspapers that there was.
If you have been in conversation with Cristiano about his unhappiness at our club, the sad fact that he only won the Premier League, the Champions League, the Golden Boot, the PFA Player of the Season and the Football Writers Player of the Season, then could you let me know what his main complaints are. You see, I have only seen him every day for the past five years so he wouldn’t have had a chance to tell me.
I am so thrilled to see that Big Phil Scolari has now got involved as well, saying that he should join your club. It is great that so many people are taking an interest in MY player.
Carlos sends his regards to you Ramon. Of course, you were a director at Real Madrid when he was the manager there weren’t you? He knows you quite well. I asked him about all this and he said, “Ronaldo is not going to leave. Manchester United can offer the best conditions. Where we can’t compete with Madrid is in a lack of ethics — because we have ethics and we don’t abandon them. As for Calderon, I knew what he was telling me and what actually happened. If I were the player’s agent I’d have no doubt which environment is best and I know he shares my opinion.”
One last thing my old friend. I have spoken to my clubs owners and they say that they would rather pay Cristiano one hundred and twenty thousand pounds a week to sit in the stand with his finger up his arse than to sell him to you.
We go back a long way Ramon and I’m sure you’ll understand if I just tell you f**k off and leave Cristiano alone.
Kindest regards
Sir Alex
………
Dear Sir Alex,
Thank you for your recent letter. I am horrified that you think I have in any way tried to unsettle young Cristiano. He is indeed a fine player and I am envious that you have such a talent at your great club.
Please believe me when I say it has never crossed my mind that Ronaldo would leave Manchester United to come to my humble club here in Spain. Of course we would welcome such a player to the Bernabau if he wished to come, but I’m sure you’ll believe me when I say there is no way that I or Bernd Schuster would ever dream of breaking FIFA or UEFA rules by making any sort of illegal approach.
I would also like to send you my sympathy. I know only too well how hard it is to manage a player who has decided they no longer want to play for your club. It is not fair of Cristiano to want to leave you after all you have done for him. I do not want to get involved in your obviously upsetting arguments and disagreements with the player.
In order to assure you that I do not wish to get involved, I have told every person I have access to in the media worldwide that I have sympathy for you in the difficulty you face with the best player in the world wanting to leave you and come to us. It is a terrible situation, but one that is, as I have said, entirely a major problem between you and the player. It is nothing to do with me.
I too am saddened that Mr Scolari has suggested to his young player that he should come to Madrid. If I speak to Mr Scolari in the near future I will make sure he understands how very cross I am that he has had to get involved.
I truly hope that you can come to an amicable agreement with Cristiano and that he leaves your club on good terms. If he were to leave, I haven’t yet thought about whether my little club would be prepared to offer him a home. If I were to do that, I hope you would understand that I would only do so with a heavy heart.
At least this whole nasty episode will be over soon Sir Alex. Cristiano has said that he will make an announcement about his future in the next couple of days. He will make his press statement just as soon as I have finished writing it for him.
Your friend always.
Ramon.
Yeah exactly real madrid treating everyone else like there brain has suddenly fallen out of there head.The latest from calderon is weve given up its impossible .Well the bad news for man utd fans like myself is that we all know thats the last part of the real madrid plan which is the same over and over.Hopefully the difference is this time theyre dealing with man united who arnt gonna stand for the usual madrid rubbish.Personally i think theyre a disgrace fergie has been quoted he thinks what theyre doing is disgusting.If they look at themselves as one of the biggest they should start acting like it.Obviously barca would love to have him but they behave properly.Im hoping if he does ask for a move that united say fair enough get lost but youre not going there.
hahahaha… both manchester united and real madrid are the most hated clubs in their respective countries( because they have a knack to tap players).
its nice 2 see both embedded in so sad a business… n well, this is why despite their respective failures liverpool fc and barcelona are the best loved teams in their countries( n outside of it). FACT.
get your ‘FACT’ right – Chelsea are the most hated team in England
What? Liverpool is the most loved team? Hahaha Lol.. just lol
I hope you continue these letters for a long time
another great one. Interesting Topic Ahmed who are the most hated team in England lets see the vote.
[Fans - team they hate the most].
I will pick the top supported teams in England.
United Fans – Chelsea
Chelsea Fans – United
Liverpool Fans – United
Arsenal Fans – United
Everton Fans – Liverpool
Spurs Fans – Arsenal
Newcastle Fans – (Probably) Sunderland
Aston Villa Fans – (Probably) Birmingham
City Fans – United
Well I think the answer is clear (fans of the following teams feel free to argue
)
All london clubs Hate Chelsea. Fact. Plus it depends on the era the fan was brought up in. Great article btw, i expect Ronaldo to say in the next few days, “i am very happy at manchester but next season, who knows”. Its not going to be a straight answer for sure.
BTW Liverpool the most loved club…… speechless.
ok, here’s the deal…ask any fan who they’d prefer winning the Premier League – Chelsea or United…
in the last two seasons, the majority of the neutral vote has gone to United.
That’s my basis – what’s yours? rivalries? Arsenal fans hate spurs more. Liverpool fans probably hate everton more, united are there but who would Pool fans pick for the league – chelsea or united or everton? I’m guessing everton would come in bottom.
to put it differently, chelsea are the team people love to hate, a bit like madrid in spain
Here’s a fact some people don’t want to ear:
IF RONALDO WANTS TO LEAVE, HE’LL LEAVE!
Why? Because of the Andy Webster ruling. He “just” has to pay the remaining of his contract…
Actually I’d rather have Evertone win the league five times in a row than have United win it again next season. I know blackburn, west ham fans and those types are all inlove with United though!! The only reason United would win a vote like that is because its only Chelsea and United fans that would vote. A couple of neutrals would chip in.
Think about it this way Liverpool and Everton fans sit beside eachother at matches, does that happen with us and United?
heheehe… my comments do fuel fire…
actually- i’ll choose my words more carefully.
manchester united are the most successful club in england…( even better than lfc .. only just) they are the richest club in england and probably in the world, they have a class manager who i personally like 2 hate.
so you have 2 expect people 2 hate them because of sheer envy. also… their fans are (usually-forgive the generalisation) the most arrogant ones – particularly 2 liverpool fans who the club is hated.
manchester united are also known 2 have dubious luck… for instance it seems remarkable how they manage 2 beat everton these couple of years in the last minutes… i think rooney contract MIGHT just be behind it. i mean the various clauses in rooney’s contract is 2 me blatant corruption( 6pts guaranteed each season). most decisions go their way n they seemed 2 get the blessing of the media… i was revolted when manchester united signed tevez under the known circumstances… it was very different from the way lfc got mascherano- everyone thought he was crap- remember… xcept rafa but he’s a genuis….
As said in my first comment , manchester tap in a lot of players … and just get away with it!!!
Manchester united are a great club which currently play excellent football- yes better than arsenal… they can pull in blind passes, one-twos , cross, make last-ditch interventions … total football… not just short passes- i.e they play with brillance rather than luck
but it is also true that manchester are the most hated club- u got 2 know that liverpool has the most fans in the world( but a fat lot of good it does if lfc does-or rather cannot exploit it) ….also this generation is very fond of victors n do not know what is it 2 become a fan n they tend 2 support winnning teams…( since i’m 18 and ditched manchester utd when i first saw anfield on television.. i must say there are exceptions)
finally i must tell that i respect utd( unlike arsenal n chelsea) – only great clubs can rise phoenix-like from the aftermath of their tragedies. I’m just bitter that Lfc latest tragedy coincided with its dip in class, n when football altered drastically n that we did not have the champion league 2 compensate 4.
well really… i just ( in spite of the respect) love 2 hate manchester. n many other liverpool fan will say just the same..
AND THERE ARE MORE REASONS 2 HATE EACH’s OTHERS CLUBS: READ IT
Cardiff have received three bids for teenage star Aaron Ramsey from Premier League clubs.
Manchester United have been confirmed as one, and appear front-runners to snap up the talented midfielder, while Arsenal and Liverpool are believed to be the other interested parties( source skysports)
( Note : I apologize for my poor use of English- I just hope my English tuition teacher never sees my comments on here)
Geez , I think he’s going 2 utd…arrr, well i’ll be sure 2 hate him in the future
… except if he turns out like Ryan Giggs- u cannot bring urself 2 hate a player like that…such class.. so unlike ronaldo.
@harasuke – of course Liverpool don’t tap up players. Barry hated playing for Villa having been there for 10 years, being captain, breaking into the England team and getting his team into Europe. Lucky you were there to save him.
I think a couple of of people in here need to type the term tapping up into google first before they start using it !!!
Liverpool are still the most successful team in England BTW
http://rapidshare.com/files/120037600/RonAtHisBest1.avi
http://rapidshare.com/files/120037601/RonAtHisBest2.avi
Check ‘em goals out lads. Arguably one of his best performances this season. “Unbelieeevvvvaaabbbllle”
Cristiano Ronaldo, you’re too coooL
I hear Manc fans are going: “If he goes, get Dos Santos”
No way. CR7’s on a higher league of his own.
..No, I don’t want his babies and I’ve not slept with him, just his woman
who Hasnt she slept with?.. 
Out
Leeds are the most hated team in Europe – settle that there
A bit of lurve might’ve changed their fortunes
-scrolls back a bit-
..reckon Pool fans hate Chelski more than United nowadays
Ronaldo it is hightime you decide your future career why don’t you make it point blank that you are leaving for spain than putting the world in suspence.Moreover,your mum is a fan to Real madrid,why cant you listen to your mum opinion instead of listen to public opinion.
If Ronaldo goes for anywhere near the reported amount(all heresay at the moment) then United will get enough to buy 3 stars as it is. He is the player of the season there’s no question about that but would he perform the same in Madrid. If he wishes to leave however he should be granted the wish, what teh Glazer’s said about keeping him on teh bench is beyond stupid. Imagine future potential signings hearing that.
If im a club president.
trust me i’ld pay half a mill 4 CR7. Booyyy, he’s worth it. dont care what ppl think or say
i havent met CR7 b4 not to talk of gettin his autograph cos i know if i do, he’ld definitely sign it for me with his leg/feet. he led a dead utd team 2 victory, what more can u ask 4?
Thank WiKeD_DeviL for VDO.
I would just like to say that everyone should leave ronaldo alone because it is up to us united team weather he goes or stays see ronaldo has already tried to quit the team and look at him he came back to united because we let him make his own dicision and because he loves it here at united.
From your biggist fan (ronaldo) rebecca
leave ronaldo alone he is the best player in the prem dont go blabin bout lamps gerrard or fabregas
nuff respect for dem but he is the best (nice boots too)
why dont u just addmit it
and he cant go to real because robinho was part of the deal for him so he cant go ole
we keep ronnie ohh and manu rnt a one man team so shut up ur chattin breeze if dat wot u beleive
harasuke sfe nuff rspct!
cr7 from mr7