Welcome back to the 1990’s seems to be the message at the moment in the world of football.

Welcome back to a time where Kevin Keegan manages Newcastle, where the G14 doesn’t exist, and where Middlesbrough are closing in on Brazillian strikers they really shouldn’t stand a chance of signing.

Welcome back to a time where Chelsea are not top of the Premier League, Havant & Waterlooville are only just making themselves known, and Manchester United are top of the Premiership.

Now, it could just be because I’m currently mid-exam season (anyone in the same boat as me will know I’ve just finished Core 3), but I feel I need to rant about things. Nothing particularly specific, but just the world of football. And definitely those who comment on it.

For example, I know Setanta Sports News are new, they’ll take a while to be running as smoothly as Sky Sports News, but the presenters seem to struggle with words. And the geography of the whole thing.

In just an hour of watching, not only did they struggle with the name ‘Kevin Keegan’ and basic sentences about him, but they seem confused as to the whereabouts of Motherwell. If you’ve just presented a report on Motherwell, and now want to talk about the Scotland managers job (which is presumably why they were at Motherwell in the first place), you cannot ‘move on from Motherwell into Scotland’.

Motherwell is IN SCOTLAND. I may just be pedantic, but if you’re going from Motherwell TO Scotland, you’re going to have to either go via England or the North Sea.

Anyway, onto the big news of the week - Kevin Keegan back at Newcastle. The man who loves his expensive (though admittedly good) signings, and to throw away almost guaranteed league titles. Watching the reports regarding his appointment, I sometimes wonder if Allardyce was forced out because his name didn’t fit into the same generic chant that ‘Keegan!’ or ‘Shearer!’ does. They do love a good scream / song in Newcastle.

As for how he’ll do, well, I don’t think he’ll be able to deliver. At least not in a Newcastle time-scale anyway. They’re a long term job to get back to where the Mags want them, and with the time to prove yourself at Newcastle about 8-12 months, I can’t see him doing well enough.

Especially with a man possibly more arrogant than Alex Ferguson in charge of them in the form of Mike Ashley. Having announced that he is going back to the boardroom to make the changes that will turn Newcastle into a fantastic, winning team, and will base these purely on his intincts because he is brilliant, he has only managed to copy what someone else has already done in appointing Keegan.

But anyway, moving on to their local (and better) neighbours Middlesbrough, Afonso Alves’ possible move appears to have been thrown into jeopardy because of an agreement between AZ and Heerenveen. Despite the fact that Heerenveen have signed none of the transfer papers relating to this, the Dutch FA seem set to confirm that Alves is now an AZ player.

Ah well, there’s always Rob Hulse.

And while we’re at Middlesbrough, Gareth Southgate has yet again confirmed that Stewart Downing is going nowhere, and rightly too. He’s a Middlesbrough lad, with no intention of going anywhere. With no bids received, and Middlesbrough not in a position where they need to sell, why does anyone think he’s on the move? Its about as likely as Ronaldo to Real Madrid right now.

And, for a quick word about the Manchester United cheater (or winger as most people call him), I see he’s been advertising his new bright orange boots on Youtube in a shuttle race against a Bugatti Veyron. Now, I’m not doubting for a moment that Ronaldo’s fast, but I would bet money that the Bugatti driver must be over 60? It was such poor driving. Could they not have just gotten a car that Ronaldo was genuinely faster than (anything made by Citroen maybe?), and put it just a little closer to its limit?

Anyway, enjoy the 90’s mk II.