Craig Dobson
In short, I'm Craig. I'm from Newcastle. I study History at the University of York. I write satire. Lots. Particularly football satire. I'm secretly waiting for Newcastle United to get relegated, so that I can jump back onto the bandwagon, after voluntarily dropping off it in 2004.
Inaction and interaction at St. James’ Park: too much talk, or not enough?
A lack of communication and mutual respect, rather than a perceived reluctance to inject healthy sums into the transfer kitty, may jeopardise Newcastle United’s season before the first whistle is blown.
Revolutions, radical change and a sense of foreboding: why French imports come with a warning label for Newcastle United fans
In the Age of Enlightenment, a European nation overcame financial crises and numerous regime changes to briefly flourish on the big stage for a few years. Shift the focus away from 18th century history and towards modern day politics of a footballing nature, and we can tentatively see a similar pattern emerging in the north-east…
QPR promotion party still on hold as FA investigate illegal payments to third party caterer
Newly-promoted Queens Park Rangers are still no closer to holding their end of season promotion party, after it emerged that the FA are investigating reports that the R’s have hired a questionable third-party caterer for their Harlington bash. According to paperwork, chairman Bernie Ecclestone employed relatively unknown Argentinean caterers Alejandro’s almost two years in advance;…
Capello to hand captaincy to Gareth Ainsworth for Switzerland qualifier
In order to avoid a repeat of the media circus surrounding the issue of the England captaincy, Fabio Capello has pre-emptively named his next captain for the World Cup qualifier against Switzerland on June 4th. In the presence of the assembled media, the Italian schemer revealed with trademark clarity: “I choose new captain for game…
One hundred words: an Italian’s guide to managing a foreign nation
In what can only be described as a pamphlet rather than a book, eloquent and multilingual manager Fabio Capello has outlined how the average trophy-laden foreign coach can transfer their success to the English continent in just one hundred easy-to-master words. The pamphlet, entitled How To Coach In Place You No Speak Good, was ghostwritten…
What do goalkeepers think about when they’re not on the ball?
“The goalkeeper is the jewel in the crown and getting at him should be almost impossible. It’s the biggest sin in football to make him do any work.” The immortal words of ex-manager and panto villain George Graham. Unlike the other twenty players on a football pitch, goalkeepers are not charged with running around the…
Arsenal turn to Bob Wilson to solve goalkeeping crisis
Arsenal are locked in talks with former goalkeeper, goalkeeping coach and television presenter Bob Wilson as they look to alleviate the injury crisis between the sticks at the Emirates Stadium. Manager Arsene Wenger is believed to have turned his attention to tried and tested goalkeeping candidates from the North London club’s successful past. Arsenal’s choices…
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