“No other man-made device since the shields and lances of the ancient knights fulfills a man’s ego like an automobile.” – Sir William

Who is (was) Sir William you may ask….to which I have no answer, but we must agree that he was right on the money with that one! Not that anyone could suggest, even in their wildest dreams, that the modern professional footballer is in need of too many ‘extras’ to massage his ego. But let’s not get off to an over-critical beginning here…for who amongst us could deny the testosterone fuelled thrill of our first driving experiences?

My first car was a Triumph Dolomite with a truly monstrous 1750cc engine and the more I screeched around the neighborhood (sometimes in excess of 60mph!), the more I was convinced that the local babes wanted a ride. Not necessarily to experience the speed thrill you understand. No, my thinking was much more ‘back-seat’. I mean I was an average guy but in this new world I was easily convinced that I had suddenly become ‘King Dong’.

And yes, there was plenty of competition, some even had better looking wheels than my rust bucket, but hey!….people recognized class when they saw it didn’t they? I was the next James Hunt in the making (read Jensen Button if you’re under 30) and I knew that the babes recognized this!

Enough said! That all went pear shaped fairly quickly.

But which of us, given the means, would not splash out on the ultra bling that is the modern super car? I know I would, even now…and I struggle to remember my twenties (a sign of good living that!) but there’s no question I definitely would have then!

And of course our footballing heroes don’t let us down in this regard. Isn’t part of the whole thing in how we choose our heroes related to them actually living some of our dreams?

So let’s take a look at footballers and their cars, the good, the bad and the ugly. We’ll take a voyeuristic peek at who has what before crossing over to the dark side. Boys will be Boys and when it comes to footballers and cars…they certainly are!

When I grew up players didn’t have that much cash or any car finance deals. The maximum wage was only abolished in 1965 and super stardom (wealth) was some way off.

Enter Bestie………El Beatle!

The sixties were in full swing and Rock and Roll and Bestie went together like, well….Mercedes and Benz, and Bestie liked his flash cars, had an eye for a good chassis and never failed to get under the bonnet! Jaguar was his brand of choice and he was famous for his E-Type Jag as well as other models (by that I mean the Mark 2 and several Miss Worlds).

Yes, George started the ball rolling and it has gained momentum (and horsepower) ever since. But due respect to the man who was the pioneer of it all! (Shocking word choice that!)

Bestie started it all!

Today’s Millionaire Players: Big Boys Toys.

“The car has become an article of dress without which we feel uncertain, unclad, and incomplete.” – Marshall Mcluhan

Clearly stated with today’s football players in mind!

There was a time when Audi sponsored Bayern Munich and all their players drove Audis as part of the deal (donated free no doubt!) However, such a policy would be scorned upon today…far too restrictive when you consider the choice of mean machines out there.

What’s remarkable, or maybe not, is that most of today’s lot have not just one but many cars.

And the ‘king of bling’ has more than most. Let’s face it….LA expects and with a wife called Victoria you’ve gotta have a few ‘Posh cars’! Yes, it’s Beckham I refer to and I could write the whole article on his car fetish…but it’s easier to direct you here:
Becks’ Posh Cars.

Back at Old Trafford Wayne Rooney is no slouch either! A Porsche 911 was his 19th birthday present to himself and wife Coleen bought him an Aston Martin Vanquish as a good luck present before the last World Cup (worked like a charm that!) Rooney’s collection also boasts a BMW X5, a Mercedes CLK, a Cadillac Escalade, a Chrysler 300C and an Audi TT. Yes, that’s 7 in all, one for each day of the week I presume.

And here is just a sample of how some other stars splash their cash:

Claude Makelele: Mercedes McLaren SLR (£350 grands worth!)

Stephen Gerrard: Porsche 911 Turbo, Mercedes SLK, Aston Martin Vanquish, BMW X5, Bentley Continental and Range Rover Sport HST

Rio Ferdinand: Cadillac Escalade 4×4, Ford F150 pick-up truck, Chrysler 300C, Bentley Arnage, Bentley Continental and BMW X5.

John Terry: Ferrari F430 Spider, Range Rover Sport, BMW X5, Porsche 911 Turbo and a Bentley Continental

William Gallas: Mercedes McLaren SLR and a Mercedes ML63 AMG 4×4

Frank Lampard: Ferrari 612 Scaglietti, Aston Martin DB9, Mercedes ML63 AMG 4×4

Michael Owen: Jaguar X-type, Range Rover V8 Vogue, Chrysler Voyager, Jaguar XKR 460 Typhoon and Aston Martin DB7 Vanquish.

Jermaine Defoe: BMW X5, Range Rover Sport, Aston Martin V8 Vantage and Mercedes ML63 AMG.

Cristiano Ronaldo: Bugatti Veyron (on order at a cool £830k!), Audi R8 supercar, BMW X5 and Ferrari 360 (more of that one later.)

Robinho: Lamborghini Gallardo LP560-4.

So as you scramble together the money for a pint and a pie at half time when you’re next at a game, you can take comfort in knowing that your hard earned cash is keeping your favourite player in a set of wheels worthy of his status. On the other hand you may be a bit pissed-off knowing that you’re funding something that only gets a run-out a couple of times a month……but you can at least take solace in the fact that it will look damn flash when it does!

Suffice to say that our footballing heroes are just mere mortals like the rest of us.

And, yes, there really is a game of car football. Two Ferraris up against two Subarus is something of a concern though….a bit like Chelsea v Scunthorpe in the Cup really! But anyway…
Car Football.

So what’s your steer on the subject? Is your mind racing with comments or have you drunk too much to even consider getting behind the keyboard?

OK, I know that’s weak….you could say I’ve crashed and burned! Time for a service…or maybe a trade-in!

You decide!

Don’t drool over the exotic cars of your favourite footballers just yet, have a look at regular car (or sports car, if you can afford it) finance deals from Carloan4u. The procedure to get car finance is fairly simplified to four steps: 1. Apply, 2. Get accepted, 3. Choose your car & 4. Drive away. You can even buy your car from your preferred car dealer.

From Soccerlens.com - Football News

So here we are….2 weeks and 48 games into South Africa 2010 and if I had to sum up the World Cup so far I’d say it has been nothing but a load of balls! Or to be more specific…..a load of Jabulanis!

Yes, I realize that this has been debated to death but the outcry seems to have died down as the competition has progressed……..probably because those who objected so vociferously at the outset realise, not for the first time, that when it comes to legitimate protests to the FIFA hierarchy you’re time is more productively spent climbing Table Mountain in wintertime and taking a relieving piss into the wind.

As usual, it’s all about money with FIFA. We could rake over the logic of introducing a new version of the most critical object in the game for the showcase tournament, and one of the biggest sporting events on the planet; and we could debate the process for approving the output of such projects, but why bother?

Football has long since prostituted itself to the mighty dollar and no doubt this particular process involved Blatter and countless other FIFA executives scoring freely, as Adidas ensured that all the right balls were massaged it tying-up this multi million dollar farce.

And of course all the feel good factors were tied in. Jabulani is the Zulu word for ‘celebrate’. Ironic that……I wonder what the Zulu word(s) for ‘high wide and handsome’ is (are)? The Jabulani has 11 colours incorporated into the design, apparently representing the 11 official languages of South Africa, the 11 communities of South Africa, the 11 players on a team and the fact that this is Adidas’ 11th FIFA World Cup ball.

All very touching I’m sure you’ll agree, but I suspect that the wonderfully hospitable, colourful and musical (Vuvuzelas excepted) South Africans would rather ‘their’ World Cup be remembered as one of the finest in terms of the game itself rather than one where they were patronised by platitudes from a money grabbing monolith who assembled a bunch of suits around a boardroom table (whose cost alone could feed several South African families for a year) to come-up with a touchy feely name for the object that ultimately tainted the entire event.

I mean, you see those close up shots, the innocent faces of those beautiful South African kids in awe at the spectacle unfolding before them and you wonder……is this to be their first real experience of the ‘beautiful game’, seeing the best players in the world only able to hit the target with something like 1 in 10 attempts.

I recently emailed an old friend who I hadn’t heard from in a while and asked him how he was enjoying the World Cup so far. Not one to mince his words….his answer was unequivocal.

“It would be a lot better if they weren’t playing with a fucking balloon!” was his response, and I couldn’t have agreed more.

Maybe I’ve lost the plot on this one? I mean, when I tried to explain it to my “what’s so interesting about 22 guys chasing a piece of leather around a field” wife, her response was a, very objective:

“But it’s round isn’t it, so what’s the problem?” Hmm….time for a beer and a spell on the patio.

But when all is said and done what is the evidence for damning this ball and accusing it of spoiling the competition?

Exhibit 1: I could list or copy the links to all the statements made by players, coaches and other professionals in the game, not to mention the mere mortal fans, but you’ve seen most of that list.

Ivory Coast manager, Sven-Goran Eriksson, was one of the most outspoken, calling for a summit meeting… Sven Objects …but it fell on deaf ears. The one thing Sven has wrong in, however, is that it’s not a problem for the goalkeepers. It’s much more of a problem for everyone else! Keepers have had an easy time of it as balls fly everywhere but in their general direction. In fact if you told me that the goalkeepers union had designed this ball I’d have no problem believing you.

Exhibit 2: Last night (depending on your time zone) Japan beat the Danes 3-1. So what!…I hear you say. Well the ‘so what’ is that they scored directly from a free kick….twice! So what? Well after 44 games they were the 2nd and 3rd goals scored directly from free licks in this World Cup! I (almost) rest my case.

Exhibit 3: Ok, I don’t have the stats, but please don’t tell me that you haven’t noticed the legion of over-hit passes, corners, crosses and through balls? I find it endlessly frustrating watching players unable to judge the flight of this ridiculous object, and make no mistake…..the lack of goals, the proliferation of close results, and the many upsets…..are, to my mind anyway,….the direct result of the Jabulani ball. I’m convinced at this point that actual results and group outcomes have been determined by this shocking sphere. And I am the only one who rues the fact that the ball seems to spend more time out of play than in play as a result?

Exhibit 4: Time for a bit of science…as opposed to my tainted ramblings…I hear you cry (ever in touch in my audience me!) Well what really provoked this outpouring was a piece I saw on SBS (Australia) television two days ago. For the youngsters on here, Craig Johnston was a Liverpool player in the 80’s who went on to become Director of Innovation at Adidas. He invented a (supposedly) revolutionary football boot known as ‘the predator’ and knows a bit about the science and dynamics of footballs.

No longer working for Adidas, here is Johnston’s verdict on the Jabulani ball, and he pulls no punches. Having no scientific knowledge whatsoever of what makes a ball ‘tick’ but having observed what I’ve observed so far, I think he’s bang on the money in his assessment: Craig Johnston on the Jabulani

So I rest the case for the prosecution on this excuse for a football. I’m convinced that it favours the defensive minded teams as it’s the shots on goal, corners and crosses that seem most affected….and maybe that’s why we’ve seen so many unexpectedly close games and surprising results so far…….or maybe not….but that’s my theory for what it’s worth.

Then again, maybe all of the above is just an aberration and in the final analysis when you set 22 guys “running around a field after a piece of leather” anything can happen…and probably does….but I just don’t buy that!

From Soccerlens.com - Football News

Welcome back to my pre-post review of South Africa 2010. For those of you have just come in from the pub please refer to part one of my report lest you find yourself somewhat lost, if not a little bemused, as to how the quarter finalists have arrived at this point in the competition.

So far the competition has met all expectations….. and then some….and it is unreasonable, is it not, to expect a similar amount of drama from here on in? But that’s where you’d be wrong!

Hang onto your vuvuzelas as I take you through the most sensational World Cup climax in history!

And once again, for those who don’t wish to know the outcome…..switch-off now.

The Quarter-Finals

With the Dutch camp in complete disarray, half the squad having moved into a different hotel, former Dutch greats are called-in to try and talk some sense into the players. Rijkaard, van Basten and Gullit all try to restore harmony while the Dutch press have a field day recalling just how congenial those 3 were at previous World Cups.

Chile get off to a flyer in the first QF as Sneijder, refusing to put Robben through, instead opts for the back-pass and plays in Gonzales who (in complete contrast to his Liverpool form) jinks past the full-back and dinks an inch perfect cross onto the head of Suazo……1-0 Chile. Van Bommel (of the Robben camp) squares-up to De Jong (of the Sneijder camp) and both are booked.

Dutch coach van Marwijk looks a right Bertie when he substitutes both Robben and Sneijder on the hour mark. As they wrestle their way down the tunnel, Sanchez latches onto a ball over the top, nutmegs Heitigna and hits a 25 yard screamer into the top corner. 2-0 Chile and game over!

Chile march on as the fiestas run late into the night in Santiago while the Dutch return home on separate flights. ………. and nobody bothers to turn-up at the airport to greet them.

Next-up it’s the grudge match of the round: Argentina v Germany. Maradona makes hay all week on the back of the 1986 final victory over the Germans, suggesting that back in 1986 he had more flair in his big toe than the entire German team put together and the same applies this time around where Messi is concerned.

The Germans put 3 men on Messi and attempt to play on the break but it’s not one for the purists…..that is until the previously anonymous Klose bags himself a brace in as many minutes on the hour mark. Maradona is apoplectic on the sideline, snarling at his team….and with 10 minutes remaining decides to go for broke.

On come the subs as Maradona goes with 6 up top (Di Maria, Tevez, Higuain, Aguero, Messi and Milito) and just one defender. In the 85th minute Tevez scores a bullet from 20 yards. Two minutes later Messi slaloms past 4 German defenders and chips the keeper from a ridiculous angle….. and, as the referee checks his watch in the 4th minute of injury time, Higuain slips the ball through to Milito, takes the return, and buries one in the bottom corner. 3-2 Argentina……. and a blubbering Diego has to be carried back to the dressing room.

Serbia v South Korea proves one of the most entertaining games of the tournament with Park Chu-Young clinching it in extra time for the Koreans with the odd goal in 7. Park Ji-Sung has a subdued match, constantly hugging the touchline, following a pre-match call from Rooney warning him to steer well clear of Vidic’s size twelves!

And there are shades of 1966 as North Korea face-off against Italy in the last QF. All week we are subjected to the endless black and white replays of Pak Doo-Ik’s immortal goal in that 1-0 downing of the Italians (which produced the headline of the century at the time!)

The game sees Italy well on top but unable to find a final ball as the North Koreans dig in yet again. As the Koreans battle it out, 6 more of their players see yellow, and 5 of those will face suspension should they progress (no chance!). With all his cards played the normally composed Lippi is prowling his technical area like a caged animal………and then the impossible happens!

Pak Nam-Chol breaks from the back for the Koreans and plays a one-two with Pak Nam-Chol (yes, there’s two of them!). He hurdles a two footed lunge by Gattuso and plays a sublime pass to the advancing Choe Kum-Chol . Choe Kum (not normally 1st choice as he’s known as a bit of choker) takes a single touch before burying it beyond the charging Buffon. The Chol brothers celebrate wildly, while back home in North Korea 18 million Chols smile with pride (that’s the North Korean equivalent of partying wildly!)

Lippi is speechless as the Koreans close-out the game……and the impossible has unfolded! The United Nations meets in special session as the realisation sets-in that South Korea and North Korea will go head to head in the semi-finals.

……..and then there were 4. An all South American affair in one semi, and the clash of Asia’s ‘yellow pearls’ in the other. Meanwhile every pundit on the planet is feeling like a donkey!

The Semi-Finals

Maradona goads the Chileans in the build-up labelling them a second rate outfit who’ve never won anything. Chilean coach Marcelo Bielsa, nicknamed ‘Loco (madman) Bielsa’ suggests that the nickname is clearly more appropriate for his opposite number and few disagree.

By the time the contest begins Diego is well wound-up and looking for blood. Despite its success against the Germans, Maradona dispenses with the 1-3-6 formation and goes back to a more cautious 2-3-5. Higuain scores early-on and the Chileans never recover, their attacking flair deserting them.

Aguero and Milito put the icing on the cake as Maradona does a jig along the touchline….infuriating the humiliated Biesla. At the post match press conference Maradona snarls at the Argentine contingent and promises them something special if his team win the final…..which he modestly asserts is a foregone conclusion.

Meanwhile, in the build-up to the all Korean semi-final the North Koreans move 200,000 troops towards the South Korean border. Barack Obama pleads for calm, failing to understand all the hype over a simple game of ‘soccer’.

The North Koreans are forced to roll-out the reserves, with 5 players suspended, and play like their lives depend on it. (they do!) South Korea hit the woodwork twice and blaze a penalty wide, while a steady flow of stretchers remove a dozen commentators from the press area suffering from tongue cramp.

The game is heading for extra time when the South Koreans break from defending a corner and the ball is slipped through to Park Ji-Sung, clearly two yards offside. The linesman is playing catch-up and the flag stays down. Park sets-off on an Emirates style sprint, rounds the keeper and slides the ball into an empty net. The North Koreans go ballistic and threaten to walk-off before calm is restored and South Korea hold-on for a famous win.

In the aftermath, Blatter promises to consider using video technology……and the press room collapses in laughter. The North Koreans declare war on South Korea and break-off diplomatic relationships with….everybody. The referee, linesman, Blatter, and Park Ji-Sung are declared enemies of the state and a price is put on their heads. The team is ordered home immediately to enlist….leaving Chile to contest the 3rd place play-off on their own.

Other than that the all Korean affair goes off without a hitch!

And so after 62 games we’re down to the final 2.

The Final

Maradona leads out his team sporting a sky blue and white pinstriped suit with a black shirt and sky blue tie (that’s for the ladies on here!) He swaggers to the dug-out waving to the mass of Argentine fans off to his left. South Korea look nervous, as Maradona reverts to a 3-3-4, but get off to solid start, containing the blue and white attacking flair with ease. Half-time arrives with the scores level and Maradona is looking agitated as he storms off to the dressing-room.

His team re-emerge for the 2nd half looking suitably chastened and set about the Koreans with real purpose. Messi curls just wide, Higuian hits the post and the South Korean keeper is busier than a flea in a dog pound. Something has to give…..and it does.

The furious Korean keeper, Lee Woon-Jae, lashes the ball down field without a teammate in sight. As a disinterested Ki Sung-Yong trots forward from halfway, Heinze moves across to cover the ‘danger’ and casually chests the ball back to Romero, failing to notice that his keeper has advanced to collect. The ball bypasses the stranded keeper and rolls harmlessly into the net.

1-0 South Korea! The 4th official has to pull Maradona off Heinze as the phisio administers an intravenous sedative. Argentina kick-off as the South Koreans (and the world) celebrate but with Lee Woon-Jae still retreating into his area after a lap of honour, Messi spots the opportunity and launches one from the half way line. As the ball dips and swerves Lee Woon frantically back pedals….but in vain. The ball floats just under the bar and Messi disappears under a mound of teammates. Maradona rips off his shirt and sprints down the touchline waving it above his head.

Extra time arrives and both teams look out on their feet. With a minute to go Veron releases Messi down the inside right channel and with a twist of the hips he’s through on goal. As he shapes to deliver the winner both his calf muscles lock in cramp and he collapses in a heap. Lee Woon-Jae clears up-field as Maradona clothes-lines the 4th official and rushes on to tend to his fallen star. He stoops to massage Messi’s knotted legs as Di Maria gathers on the left.

Di Maria skins the full-back and advances towards the angle of the box, sensing glory. As sweet a left foot drive as you could wish for soars towards the top corner only for the heroic Lee Woon to fingertip it onto the post. It rebounds with pace, scores a bullseye on Maradona’s arse and nestles in the bottom corner of the Korean net.

For a full 10 seconds silence descends on Soccer City stadium……before all hell breaks loose. A shrill blast of the referees whistle brings everyone back to their senses as he signals GOAL! Realizing what has happened Maradona deserts the writhing Messi and sets-off on a lap of honour, tearing-up to every pitch side camera with crazed eyes and snarling mouth.

The South Korean protests fall on deaf ears as the referee quotes precedent. “There is absolutely no difference between a beach ball and Maradona’s arse!” he declares defiantly….and the goal stands.

Maradona marches into the post match press conference with a demonic look in his eyes. ‘You ungrateful parasitic peasants!’, he blasts at the Argentine journalists before answering the question on everyones lips…….

“Diego, what did you make of the winning goal?”

…..and once again he finds the immortal words in his finest hour…..

“It was a little bit the Hand of God and a little bit the arse of Maradona!”

And that was the 2010 World Cup that was (will be)!

As the bishop said to the actress…put that vuvuzela to your lips and blow hard…..and let the games begin!

Enjoy!

From Soccerlens.com - Football News

Now I can point to endless articles I have written on here that have been so on the money, in terms of their predictions/forecasts, that it’s scary! Only recently I predicted the demise of Benitez and that Chelsea would win the PL. I have also clearly pointed out that Mourinho is a lucky wanker, Wenger a sleep-walking idealist and Maradona a nutter.

Enough, I think you’ll agree, to suggest that I have a crystal ball…..can predict the future as it were! And so right you’d be! While most of you are drooling in anticipation of the upcoming World Cup….I’ve actually been there….seen that….and while I don’t want to spoil your fun, if you’re interested…here’s how it unfolded.

For those who don’t want to know the outcome……..switch off now!

The Group Stages

The competition gets off to a glorious start with the Bafana Bafana and the cacophony of a million vuvuzelas setting the tone for party time. South Africa and Mexico play out a 5-5 draw in a spectacular opener.

Buoyed by their fanatical support the hosts go on to defeat Uruguay and France. In the final group match, the French, needing a draw to qualify, are locked in a 1-1 stalemate with SA, 2 minutes into injury time. Pienaar gathers in midfield and floats a delightful ball into Parker who controls it with his arm, juggles it twice with his left hand and smashes a sweet volley beyond the dumbfounded and hapless Hugo Lloris!

The referee signals Goal! and the Bafana go wild as they top Group A.

Thierry Henry is incensed, claiming there is no precedence for such a shameful decision, declaring that the officials must be blind, deaf and dumb, while adding that it was a ‘home’ decision if ever he saw one! Meanwhile the French FA threaten to take the matter to the Court of Arbitration for Sport. Blatter supports the referee, provoking Platini to label him a dictatorial, senile, fat Swiss windbag. The two refuse to talk to each other for the remainder of the tournament.

In the aftermath, Raymond Domenech is instantly sacked as French manager and offered a choice between the guillotine and exile. He chooses the latter and his passport is revoked by the French authorities.

And over in Rustenburg the Mexicans are dancing on their hats as a convincing win over Uruguay sees them claim the runners-up spot.

Argentina set the ball rolling against Nigeria in Group B and the cameras are lovin’ Maradona. His demonic prancing and screaming on the touchline climax when Argentina are denied an obvious penalty. The ‘Hand of God’ is seen throttling the 4th official, clearly egged on from the bench by a frenzied Carlos Tevez. ‘Give that bastard the ‘welcome to Manchester treatment’ boss!’, shouts Carlos. (OK we don’t speak Spanish on here but that one’s gonna to be obvious…is it not?)

Diego is forced to watch the remaining group games from the stand while the South Koreans deliver the headlines by winning the group. Argentina take 2nd as Greece and Nigeria bow out.

Meanwhile in Group C Algeria shock everybody by winning all 3 of their games to take top spot. Back in Algiers millions take to the streets in unbridled celebration (especially after the 2-1 defeat of England), and a national holiday is declared. England dispatch Slovenia and the USA to take 2nd place……as the tabloid journalists sharpen their knives.

Serbia justify their label of ‘dark-horses’ in Group D by winning the group and forcing the Germans into 2nd place. Australia start Harry Kewell in their second match against Ghana but after 20 minutes he collapses and breaks into 5 different pieces. 5 stretchers carry the hapless Harry off the pitch.

Group E proves boringly predictable with the Netherlands and Denmark taking the honours, in that order, although rumours abound of ‘a divide’ in the Dutch camp. Apparently Robben becomes pissed-off with Sneijder’s gloating over the CL final and nuts him. The squad (like Sneijder’s nose) are split down the middle and the manager has lost control. (Can’t believe that would ever happen to the Dutch!)

And Group F is equally predictable with Italy on top, yet unimpressive, and Paraguay just scraping through at the expense of Slovakia and (the pitiful) New Zealand.

In contrast, Group G sees more action than Paris Hilton’s underwear! The Ivory Coast face Portugal in the opener and Drogba’s hat-trick is cancelled-out by 3 own-goals from Eboue. But the game explodes late on as Ronaldo and Nani, competing for ‘show-pony’ of the tournament, descend on a ball into the area and kick-each other as they go for the winner. A cat fight ensues as they flog each other with their handbags…..and both are sent off in disgrace.

Portugal bow out and Carlos Queiroz calls Fergie to see if the assistant manager’s job has a vacancy at Old Trafford. Sir Alex explains the situation discretely: “Fuck-off Carlos!”

But that’s only the start of the drama in ‘The Group of Death’. Widely billed as a dogfight between Brazil, Portugal and the Ivory Coast, it’s the North Koreans (they who none of us have ever heard of) who produce the headline of the century (OK it’s only 10 years into the century but this one won’t be beaten). A ‘backs to the wall’ display sees them contain Dunga’s Brazil until the 89th minute.

Penalty Brazil! Up steps Robinho and crashes the penalty against the crossbar whereupon it rebounds to the halfway line where the waiting, and extremely grateful, Jong Tae-Se gathers without a Brazilian defender in sight. He sprints 20 meters before chipping the advancing Cesar to perfection and the sound of the Samba not beating deafens the stadium. The ensuing media buzz causes internet crashes across the globe.

Dunga becomes the 1st ever coach to be saked mid-tournament as Ronaldinho and Adriano are appointed joint managers in his place.

The North Koreans dig out draws against the Ronaldoless and Naniless Portugese and the Ivory Coast (coming back from 2-0 down to draw 2-2 after Drogba is sent off for diving (9 times) and Kalou is sent-off for missing 15 chances.)

……Brazil recover to top the group while the North Koreans stun everybody…taking 2nd. Meanwhile Ronaldinho and Adriano agree that the Brazilian squad need some R&R before the knock-out stages and book-out a Soweto nightclub for the entire following week.

Spain disappoint the bookies by comfortably winning Group H as the flair and flamboyance of Chile sees them take 2nd. Switzerland and Honduras go out…..much to the delight of (nearly) everybody.

Only 2 weeks in and we’ve been left breathless, if not incredulous, at what has unfolded so far……..let the knock-out stages begin!

Round of Sixteen (is it just me or should this not be called the 1/8th finals?)

Disappointment at the outset as the infectious support of the hosts is finally silenced by a dogged Argentina. Maradona cuts a subdued figure, finally reinstated to the dugout, but with the game locked in a 0-0 stalemate, makes an inspired substitution. Higuain off, Aguero on!

“I didn’t give you my daughter for nothing you gutless dog!” he snarls, as Aguero scurries on like a cussed puppy. He duly delivers with a sublime header and the world sulks as the Bafana go out.

South Korea beat Mexico, Germany (never write them off!) bring the Algerian party to an end…… before England face Serbia!

The dark-horses against the super optimists…..something has to give….and it does!

Five minutes in and Vidic meticulously stamps on Rooney’s 4th metatarsal….crunch! Rooney …and England…gone! Terry (the deposed English captain) takes exception and in a Drogbaesque fit slaps Vidic across the face…..instantly seeing red (of the refereeing variety). Wayne Bridge and Theo Walcott are spotted celebrating amongst the Serbian fans.

England, however, hang on and after 120 minutes it’s 0-0. The dreaded penalty shoot-out unfolds and with the score at 10-9 to Serbia up steps Emile Heskey. He calmly places the ball on the spot, retreats 20 meters and sets-off on a run-up of Usain Bolt proportions, connecting with some venom.

The ball soars towards the top corner with the keeper a mere spectator but misses the angle by a whisker and gathers height as it clears the stadium roof and, with the prevailing winds in its favour, carries 2km into the Bloemfontein countryside, bouncing twice in a farm yard before nudging up against a barn door.

England are gutted but a defiant Heskey declares at a post match interview that the taunts of him being unable to hit a barn door with a banjo have been well and truly laid to rest. Terry is vilified by the press who suggest that he should piss-off to Real Madrid and have an affair with some spanish tart….but, predictably, Capello takes the brunt of the abuse.

The Sun leads with a picture of Fabio, a large English oak tree, with a spaghetti noose dangling ominously from one of its branches, looming large in the background. ‘Copello this Fab!, screams the headline. The Mirror opts for a computer generated image showing Capello with a pizza sitting on his head: ‘Pizza Crapello!’ is their offering, while The Star bids Fabio farewell with……‘Arrivederci Italian Meatball!’.

Others are equally imaginative…..hell make your own up and post them in the responses!

Elsewhere the Dutch dispense with Paraguay despite one half of the team refusing to pass to the other half, while Italy overcome the gutsy but average Danes. But once again, the best is saved till last!

Del Bosque’s Spain are unbackable against the North Koreans but the Asians know no fear! They dig in from the outset and kick everything in sight. Nine bookings later and with Xavi hobbling, Torres sulking and Fabregas grimacing……it’s 0-0 and penalties. The frustrated Spaniards score just one of 4 penos and lose 3-1. North Korea declare world sovereignty! (not sure what that means but it sounds impressive!)…..having, for the 2nd time in as many weeks, produced the headline of the century!

Meanwhile, in the all South American affair, Brazil, looking severly hung-over, take to the pitch against Chile. Kaka throws-up in the dressing-room and is too ill to start. A Sanchez hat-trick sees them 3-0 down after 20 minutes and the Chileans toy with them throughout the 2nd half as the Brazilians World Cup ends in embarassment. The boys from Brazil head back to the night club for a piss-up.

And, at last, the final 8 have been decided: Argentina, Germany, South Korea, Serbia, Holland, Chile, Italy and North Korea.

How will it all unfold? See part 2 of our amazing 2010 World Cup preview for the final instalment on the greatest show on earth!

I’ve been there….and it’s one hell of a finish……trust me!

From Soccerlens.com - Football News

It is with some distain, if not total consternation, that I observe the clichéd comments of the media, rival fans, and (most of all) my fellow Manchester United fans in relation to the ‘old guard’ at Old Trafford!

I could paraphrase an endless list of comments across an endless list of articles and blog contributions but let me quote a comment by the BBC’s chief sports writer, Phil McNulty, in his review of the season this week:

“once again we have to ask how much more Ferguson can dredge out of the old reliables such as Gary Neville, Ryan Giggs and Paul Scholes.”

And the replies to such observations arrive quick and fast, many suggesting that it will be impossible for Utd to replace Neville, Scholes and Giggs when the time comes.

It’s just about then that I pour myself a glass of wine, take a deep draught, and again wonder whether I live in a different parallel universe to the rest.

But before I get into the meat of my point let me first set some background. Sir Alex Ferguson can be accused of many things but lack of loyalty is not one of them, and when it comes to loyalty he’s totally black and white. Loyalty has always been a two-way street for Ferguson (no argument with that)…….you cross him at your peril…..a lesson learnt the hard way by the likes of McGrath, Sharpe, Stam, Beckham, Van Nistelrooy and even Keane over the years. You’re either in or you’re out with Sir Alex and there are no half measures.

At times he has taken on the world in support of a player (Cantona) and been richly rewarded in return, and for those ‘less troublesome’ souls who have devoted an entire career to the cause Fergie’s loyalty and support is absolute.

The question is whether this is a vice or a virtue, or, more poignantly, when does that virtue actually become a vice?

The last time I soul searched on this issue was in the 2005/6 season. United were heading for a 3rd successive year without the title and Keane was very much in decline. Club captain, but hampered by injury and age, I wondered whether Fergie would ever bite the bullet and move on. In the end, Roy did the honourable thing and spat the dummy, making his departure on his own terms and for the greater good of all. Don’t get me wrong, Keane was one of the all time greats to grace the Old Trafford pitch but he had the nous to call time… at the right time (just)… which is typical of the pragmatist that Keane is.

Everyone moved on, Fergie re-shuffled and 3 titles in a row landed on his doorstep. Carrick arrived amidst a wave of controversy over his fee and, while he is no Roy Keane and never will be, he provided a piece of the jigsaw that once again provided Ferguson and his team with a relatively settled “middle 4”. It was the catalyst (along with the emergence of Ronaldo as a major force) for further decorating one of the most impressive CVs in football management history, and three years of plenty followed.

Now, football commentators and fans are a fickle bunch, none more so than this one, who change their minds daily (never mind weekly or even monthly). As Fergie’s team mounted an assault on six trophies last season, somewhere around the New Year the scribes were suggesting that they would succeed on all fronts and questioning whether this was the ‘great man’s’ best ever squad.

But a season on from all of that, with Ronaldo now departed and Utd failing to win the title for a 4th time (by just a single point), decline is on the agenda, the squad needs major investment (according to many) and the imminent departure of the ‘old guard’ is a major worry!

All of which brings me back to my main point. Let me preface this by acknowledging that as the 3 most decorated players in the history of the Premier League, Neville, Scholes and Giggs, are true legends of the game and will rightfully take their place in the ‘hall of fame’….never to be forgotten!

But time and tide waits on no man and right now, if not for some time now…..if I may be sacrilegious…can I suggest that they are (have been) more of a liability than an asset?

To support this claim I must firstly return to my musings at the start of the season just finished. My greatest wish was that Fergie would somehow ‘find’ a settled midfield unit….get to the point where Utd had a recognised ‘best’ central four. To that end my hope was that Anderson would be given the chance to claim the AM role, that Nani would finally emerge and that Hargreaves would return from injury.

But most of all I wished that Ferguson would forsake his endless rotation of 8 or 9 midfield players with the inevitable consequence of lack of continuity and the lack of team understanding that that brings with it. And to support my aspiration, it went without saying that Scholes and Giggs should be given a back seat……left to lend their experience in the dressing room to the younger players, to come off the bench occasionally, and to play a part in some of the cup competitions.

Utd kicked-off the season against Birmingham and followed that up with the away trip to Burnley…and Sir Alex changed his entire ‘middle’ 4 for the Burnley game (in fact he rotated 5 of the front 6). I instantly knew the game was up and resigned myself to another season of ‘guess the line-up’, knowing in my heart that no team ever achieves greatness with a question mark over what is it’s best 11 (or at least best 14).

Giggs started 20 PL games for Utd last season, Scholes 24 and Neville 15. Not huge numbers but that’s exactly the point. Too much a case of players on the way out not being left out and players who should be brought through not being left in!

Let me address Gary Neville first. Absent for the best part of 2 seasons through injury, Gary probably played more games than he would have this season due to injuries to others. While truly awful in some of his early season performances, in fairness, he put in some decent shifts in the 2nd half and deserves credit for that.

But let’s be crystal clear on this one. Neville is now 4th choice RB at Old Trafford, behind Rafael, Brown and O’Shea. If he walked out the door tomorrow it wouldn’t cause the slightest blip on the future achievement of the club……so let’s lay that one to rest. He’s long since been replaced. Next!

The case of Giggs and Scholes is more complicated, but only relatively so. The two had contrasting seasons. Giggs had some good performances in the first half of the season but, for my money, was mostly missing in the 2nd half. For Scholes it was the reverse, he seemed to come to life from January on. But even given that, there’s still a problem to my mind and it’s this. For every decent game Giggs and Scholes have, they have one average one and one poor one. You just can’t rely on that, it’s a crap shoot, and you better believe that it comes at a cost!

A good example is Liverpool away last season. Fergie selected a midfield of Carrick, Scholes, Giggs and Valencia. A ‘backs to the wall’ game for Liverpool and a guaranteed battle! I saw the line-up and winced, and so it proved. They just don’t have the legs for a high tempo battle anymore.

But the main problem is Ferguson’s insistence on including them so often. It retards the emergence of the next generation, Anderson in particular; it possibly undermines the confidence of players like Carrick, whose form collapsed in the latter part of the season and it definitely undermines any chance of getting to a point of having a settled midfield unit which, to my mind at least, is fundamental to creating any great team.

So when, by degree, I learnt that all three in question had signed 1 year extensions to their contracts I was far from happy. I’m not suggesting that they shouldn’t have been given those extensions, far from it. Let them continue to influence the younger players, bring some experience to the bench and play in some cup games …….exactly my prescription for last season.

But I just know that Fergie won’t approach it this way. He’ll continue to overplay this trio of aging greats; continue to undermine the game time and by extension the confidence of others, and continue to over rotate and detract from any possibility of Utd establishing a quality midfield unit.

So what would I do? Assuming Hargreaves can get back to his former level, I’d have Hargreaves, Fletcher, Anderson and one quality CM purchase, along with Nani and Valencia, as my ‘midfield 6’. By that I mean 4 or 5 (depending on formation) from this 6 as the regular starters.

I’d sell Carrick and have Park, Gibson, Oberton and the emerging Cleverly as the back-up, but only to be used sparingly in the event of injury or to occasionally rest someone (unless of course they impress so much that they can’t be ignored). After that Giggs and Scholes would get a look in, which would mean not very much at all. The “2nd string”, including Giggs and Scholes, to be given game time in the CC and FA Cup.

I understand the criticisms of Utd’s midfield quality in recent times but remain unconvinced that it is down to lack of good players. I’m convinced that it has as much to do with lack of continuity and failure to establish a regular starting line-up. Yes, I know it’s a squad game now and you can’t get anywhere without depth……but there’s a balance between squad depth and not having a first choice (‘best’) team and for two seasons now that balance has been missing from United.

Neville, Scholes and Giggs have long since been replaced at Old Trafford. They owe us nothing more and we owe them a huge debt of gratitude.

But please Fergie, spare us the death by a thousand cuts! I’ve bled enough already and I can’t face another season with more of the same.

It’s time to move on……time to get the balance back…… and time to get a best 11 again!

From Soccerlens.com - Football News

As a football fan, as opposed to a Man Utd fan, I have to confess to feeling some sympathy for the Liverpool faithful right now. As loyal, knowledgeable, good humoured and expectant a group of fans as you are likely to find, how many more kicks in the gut can they be expected to endure before things get better at Anfield?

At the start of the season if they had gazed into their collective crystal ball and foreseen a headline proclaiming this weekend’s showdown with Chelsea as a ‘title decider’ it would have been everything they dreamt of…..the implication being that Liverpool also had a stake in the (title) outcome.

But the reality, as we now know, pitches them as mere bit part players in the outcome, with one possible scenario being their worst nightmare.

And who would have foreseen the season that has unfolded for The Reds? Not many I’d suggest, even allowing for the most pessimistic forecasters out there. Last season ended in bitter disappointment. Having been in the box seat for much of the first half of the campaign, they ultimately had to endure the sight of their greatest rivals being crowned champions, yet again, equalling their long held record of 18 titles. But the nature of their season (their best in the PL era) held the silver lining of increased hope and anticipation of finally breaking their PL duck.

No need to rake over old ground. The American owners, Rafa, the squad, money spent (badly), money not spent (or not available), injuries (Torres in particular), Gerrard’s form and body language…….it’s all been done to death. Suffice to say that it has inflicted some raw wounds and provoked much soul searching amongst the Kopites!

And as their season, which might have realised the small resuscitation of silverware in the form of a Europa Cup win, came to a shuddering halt last night, I’d excuse any of them for wanting to curl up in the foetal position for a couple of days and hope that when they woke up it had all just been a terrible nightmare (been there!).

So just where does all of that leave us as Liverpool face Chelsea this Sunday in what, for me at least, will be THE defining game in this bizarre title race that has seen more twists and turns than a cut snake?

And make no mistake; this is THE defining game in this title race. A risky statement given all that has gone before? I don’t think so, and here’s why.

Whoever leads the race going into the last day will be crowned champions…..no question. There is absolutely no chance….and I mean no chance….that either Chelsea or Utd will fail to put away Wigan or Stoke, respectively, if that’s all that is needed to lift the crown. Neither Wigan nor Stoke have anything to play for and at the best of times both would be regarded as huge underdogs when playing away to their respective opponents (not to mention that Utd beat Wigan 5-0 and Chelsea beat Stoke 7-0 in the reverse fixtures this season!). With the title (still) at stake on the last day, you can confidently go out for a game of golf and ignore the media hype with my full assurance that nothing will change.

Which brings me back to Anfield at 1:30pm (UK time) this Sunday. There are many factors in play and how they play out will determine this year’s champions.

- Can Liverpool lift themselves after the disappointment of their Europa Cup exit, especially having had to endure extra time…..less than 3 days beforehand?

-What team will Rafa play? Does he go with his ‘best 11’ as the faint hope of achieving 4th place still lingers…..and how might Saturday’s results affect that decision?

-How will the psychology play out for Liverpool’s players (and fans) knowing that if they take something off Chelsea they may just hand the title to Utd, and in a single stroke open the door for them to achieve the joint records of 4 titles in a row and 19 overall, moving ahead of Liverpool for the first time?

-Will nerves get to Chelsea, not for the first time this season…. and the fear of being labelled ‘bottlers’?

-Can Chelsea banish their poor away form of late when it most matters?

-Will Terry play (yes) and how will he perform…or should he even be left out?

The media hype has gone on all week and will continue right up to kick-off. Mind games and sub plots abound, but don’t expect an exciting game….there’s too much at stake….and be assured that no matter what unfolds, every party with a vested interest will endlessly rake over the controversial incidents with fully blinkered gusto in the aftermath!

But here’s my view on some of the key issues (for what it’s worth).

Rafa will play whatever team he sees fit and nobody will be justified in questioning that decision. It’s his call and every other team involved in the outcome has huge precedence in that respect. And whoever he picks will do a professional job. I don’t believe that any team ever goes onto the park to under-perform and I don’t believe that it will happen on Sunday.

That said, it’s a big ask for Liverpool players to lift themselves in the circumstances, but stranger things have happened and pride, never mind the possibility of 4th, may just provide sufficient motivation. But there’s no chance, in my view anyway, that Liverpool will ‘lie down’. They have precedence on this…..1995 v Blackburn, on the final day, when Liverpool did Utd a huge favour but Utd failed to win at West Ham and take advantage.

Title decider this may be, but as any pro knows, no title is determined by the outcome of a single game in 38. It may seem that way at the death but it’s far from reality.

Motivation should not be an issue for Chelsea….but nerves might be. Time will tell. And what are the odds on a single controversial decision deciding the game? A penalty given, or not….an offside decision wrongly given (or missed)……a sending-off……

It’s impossible to call! As a Utd fan I take some solace in the fact that, despite Liverpool’s miserable season, they have still only lost 2 of 18 PL games at home. Hell they even won last night in ‘losing’ to Atletico!

Twist my arm though….offer me a free bet of some magnitude….or a date with one of the regaled Soccerlens Babes….and I’m guaranteed to spill every time. I’d have to go with Chelsea. There’s too much in their favour and…by contrast…too much against Liverpool…..but it’s a funny old game football!

So if my prediction comes true and Chelsea walk-off the pitch victorious at Anfield, somewhere in the vicinity of 3:25pm next Sunday, I’ll offer them my congratulations on winning the title for a 3rd time in the PL era….and move my thoughts on to the World Cup and next season.

It’s a done deal if Chelsea win!

But if they slip-up, or should I say if my Liverpool ‘comrades’ refuse to lay down their pride, then I’ll rejoice at the prospect of Utd breaking records and go as far as to declare that the title is theirs….even before a ball is kicked at The Stadium of Light!

Yes, Sunderland are a formidable team at home. Yes, their home record equals Liverpool with just 2 defeats in 18 games. Given the timing of these two matches, the psychology that the first result will infuse into the 2nd game is huge. If Chelsea win at Liverpool the psychological effect on the Utd players will be immense. No matter what Fergie tells them in the dressing room I suspect that they will know (as I do) that the game is up…..the consequence being that they will under-perform and could well hand Chelsea the title before the clock strikes 6pm.

But if Chelsea don’t win at Anfield then the motivation that will provide to the Utd players should carry them over the line with room to spare. How many reprieves can any team get in a single season? Utd will be juiced-up and ready to go.

I expect Chelsea to win on Sunday and with that to lift the title, leaving me with the hollow victory of having tipped them at the start of the season.

If by chance they falter, I expect Utd to be champions by tea time, not withstanding the Sky hyped charade of the final day.

Whatever the outcome, by 6pm this Sunday the title will be decided…no question…..and remember that you heard it first on Soccerlens!

From Soccerlens.com - Football News

Like so many of you out there I’ve long since lost all respect for Real Madrid and how they conduct their affairs. The malaise born out of the ‘presidential’ system seems to me to tarnish the clubs image rather than enhance it and the side effect that it channels through the media is, frankly, an embarrassment.

Yes, Barca have a similar system but somehow seem to do it with a lot more dignity.

Just as with political elections worldwide, the Real Madrid presidential election comes with mass canvassing and a manifesto that invariably promises more than you would think can reasonably be delivered; the substance of which always involves signing several of the top players on the planet (read Galacticos).

Not to suggest that Real’s prancing egoists (read presidents) don’t deliver. Bankrolled by seemingly unlimited credit from institutions that have long since been taught to respect a ‘national icon’, money is seldom the problem for Real. Florentino Pérez, the current incumbent, prompted the press to invent the ‘galacticos’ term during his previous reign between 2000 and 2006.

Here’s a man who delivers on his promises and knows no fear when it comes to delving into the deep pockets of the club he represents. And during his two terms as president of Real he has overseen the signings of some notable talent:

Ronaldo (both versions), Zidane, Kaka, Figo, Beckham, Benzema, Owen, Alonso, Ramos, Robinho, Babtista, Woodgate, Albiol……even the one and only Thomas Gravesen, were all signed during his tenure. Just approaching a combined 6 ½ years in the coveted role, Perez has overseen 2 La Liga titles, 1 CL and 2 Supercopa’s; the relatively meagre return for some (please forgive the understatement) extravagant investment during his reign.

Just not good enough!….. most of you would suggest. He may still deliver another La Liga title this season but has already had to endure the ignominy of seeing his team dumped out of the CL by Lyon in the first knock-out stage; not withstanding Ronaldo, Kaka, Benzema et al. But Real (not to be confused with ‘real’) presidents don’t overly worry about failings on the pitch. Why would you when there’s always a manager (albeit one who has little control over singings) waiting to be the fall guy!

Real have had no less than 17 managers in the past 20 years, three of those serving two separate terms in the job, and one, Vicente Del Bosque, actually serving three (yes 3!) terms as manager. We hear much talk of players being ‘mercenaries’ these days….but what of managers? Is it a tick on the CV that must be had or are the dollars too lucrative to ignore? Whatever the bait, it obviously trumps self-respect every time.

It’s all a bit of a joke ReaLly!

Just as Real Madrid treat their managers as instantly disposable, so too do arriving presidents treat their players. If they’re not to their liking or (more likely) if cash is needed to deliver on some of those pre-election promises then, as a player, your days are numbered and you’ll quickly be on your way….falling back on contracts being about as useful as sticking a finger in a dyke (meaning the Dutch version of the word!)

And so, with the arrival of Perez last summer and the toute suite (that’s French for immediate…..nothing like a bit of showing off I think you’d agree!) arrival of Ronaldo, Kaka, Alonso, Benzema and Arbeloa, some then current, not to mention recently arrived, Real players suddenly found themselves with a target on their back.

Now I’d accuse the Real presidents of many things but racism is not one of them! Not that I’ve researched this aspect of the subject but, let’s face it, the Dutch are as affable, hospitable and inoffensive a group of people as you are likely to meet. They speak good English, drink good beer and for a nation with a population of just 16 million citizens (could be 17m now since the last census) have hugely out-punched their weight in world football terms over the years.

Cryuff, Neeskens, Van Basten, Van Nistelrooy…. I could go on for a very long time, but take it as read that their pedigree is beyond question. Losers in 2 World Cup Finals, unluckily in both cases some would suggest, I’ve the greatest respect for the Oranje! So there had to be some other motive/logic behind last seasons clear-out at Real.

How about stupidity?

Sneijder, Robben and Van Huntelaar quickly found themselves surplus to requirements and all were moved on toute suite (yeah, I’m lovin’ it!)….to Inter, Bayern and Milan respectively. OK, I accept that the previously prolific (previous to arriving at Real that is) Huntelaar hasn’t set the world on fire….but what of the other two?

As a Man U fan I riled against my fellow supporters’ calls for multiple signings, post Ronaldo, last year. That said, when I heard Sneijder was on the market….I was interested….if not totally committed to the cause. With Scholes ensconced in twilight and Anderson still wiping his feet on the mat, here was a player I admired….and then some.

In December 2008 I had the dubious honour of nominating the Soccerlens ‘Team of the Year’. Being misguided, as I generally am, I chose Sneijder in midfield, at the expense of…..and excuse me while I blush……Xavi. My choice was mainly on the basis of his performances for his country at Euro 2008, even though he’d spent much of his club time injured that year.

And the unrelenting Soccerlens public gave me some (not undeserved) stick for that choice. But as I learnt the hard way, whoever gets the hospital pass of that particular article each year is guaranteed a good kicking….and rightly so!

However, I now confess to feeling somewhat vindicated. Not that I will ever stoop to giving credit to the narcissistic wannabe that is Mourinho, but even I must respect that signing (and rue the lack of same signing by Fergie in equal measure.)

Sneijder will be 26 before the World Cup kicks-off in SA…..still some way from his peak. For my money, he has been the catalyst for everything that has gone right for Inter this season. Ostensibly an attacking midfield player, Sneijder is much more than that! With a career average of better than 1 goal in 4 appearances (a quality return by any standards), this is a player who’ll give you that return going forward while at the same time never be found wanting when defensive duties call.

For every clinical finish and killer assist you’ll find, in equal measure, defensive qualities of the Roy Keane variety as he shuts-out the best his opponents can produce everywhere on the pitch. Yes, this guy is a street fighter with passion and commitment in abundance. If I was going over the top in the trenches and had to choose who to bring with me he’d be the first name on my list of comrades. And if Inter do win the CL this season I’ll declare, with only minor fear of contradiction, that Sneijder provided the foundation for that achievement. Mourinho’s tactics my ass! Sneijder will be the over-riding reason for Inter’s 45 year reunion with the biggest prize in European football.

Real (and Perez) should be highly embarrassed for having let him go and I’d argue that he’d walk into the current Real Madrid team and add huge value!

Which brings me nicely on to Arjen Robben! 26 years old in January this year, Robben, even at that tender age, could almost be accused of being something of a journeyman. Not exactly more clubs than Tiger Woods (and certainly not more women) but 5 clubs under his belt at his, relatively, tender age is somewhat unusual, non?

I accept that Robben has had a relationship with the physio’s couch somewhat more intimate than most of us would like….and I’ll also accept that his temperament may be suspect…and that his right foot couldn’t kick the skin off a rice pudding, but when this guy is fit and on form it’s hard to argue against his ability. Robben’s career goal-scoring record just slides below 1 goal in every 4 appearances, not bad for a winger. But get this, his record for Bayern this year is close to 1 goal in every 1 ½ games!

Not damn bad for a one footed sick note I’d argue!

And like his compatriot Sneijder, he’s carried his team to the brink of Champions League glory this season. Scoring the ‘winner’ against Utd at Old Trafford, and what a sublime strike it was… this week he hit another long range screamer to notch the advantage over Lyon. In a single season Robben has taken his goal/game average from 1 in 4 to 2 in 3. That has to say something about a player who is a couple of years off his peak. And just like Inter (Sneijder), should Bayern go all the way in the Champions League I’ll have to conclude that Robben was the catalyst for their success….the one key player that made it happen, even casting a shadow over that other Bayern winger, and erstwhile main man, Frank Ribery.

Fate may yet determine that neither Bayern nor Inter reach this years CL final. But if they do then two great Dutch players (Real Madrid rejects) will be at the root of their alternative success.

So when the Champions League Final circus rolls into Madrid on May 22nd Seignior Perez will approach the Santiago Bernabéu Stadium with some trepidation. He’ll likely retreat to his quarters somewhere in the bowels of the famous stadium and pour himself a stiff cognac or two. One way or another he’ll have a lot to ponder and will be in need of some Dutch courage before he faces the bright lights. And at this point there’s no palatable outcome for the Real president.

Should Lyon defy the odds and lift the trophy it will be that sickening feeling of what might have been! Real could (and probably should) have dispensed with them at the Bernabeu. If it’s a Sniejder inspired Inter or a Robben inspired Bayern he’ll be feeling a little foolish, he may even be speaking ‘double Dutch’!

And the 4th alternative!

Barca retaining the trophy in the backyard of their greatest rivals! Nuff said! Picture the scene: Guardiola offering to buy Perez dinner after Barca lift the trophy! The only logical response would be “Gracias, but let’s go Dutch!”

Ultimately there can only be one winner…..and, equally, one loser. The winner will be the winner.

The loser will be Real Madrid!

From Soccerlens.com - Football News

Cast your minds back to your childhood and most of you will remember that Hans Christian Anderson classic “The Emperor’s New Clothes”, a moral tale that has since been interpreted in a number of ways.

But for me the basic message was this: Convince enough people that something is true and they will swear it to be the case, regardless of what their senses may be telling them.

In that quaint little fable it took a child in the crowd to declare that the Emperor was in fact walking about with his crown jewels hanging out…….and, appropriately many of you will say, my role in this article is that of the child in the story!

At the start of the season I wrote an article on Arsene and his continuing quest to develop greatness from mere seedlings. At the time I said I wouldn’t bet against him achieving his goal and that I’d be the first to applaud if he realised his somewhat idealistic dream.

And so it has continued. The press drool, mostly; the fans get expectant….and then not; and the articles continue to flow on the Arsenal youth revolution and what it might produce.

Enough I say! It’s time to dispel the myth, to expose the hyperbole for what it is….to finally put this fantasy to rest. For that’s all it is in my opinion….fantasy! For something like four years now Arsenal have been hyped as a team about to produce a conveyor belt of young talent beyond precedent and season after season we wait for that precedent to be set. But just how long do you have to wait before you decide that maybe….just maybe….it ain’t gonna happen?

Having seen two thirds of the season pass since I last considered the issue my mind is now clear on the subject……it ain’t gonna happen! I say again, I like Arsene, a lot. He and Fergie are the undisputed ‘Emperors’ of the Premier league….and long may it continue, but on this one, I’m afraid, Wenger has clung too long to a misguided ideal. History and statistics alone were against Arsene from the start. Of course, there are no genuine stats available but I think it’s fair to say that for every 10 ‘teenage prodigies’ maybe 1 makes it at the highest level.

And so far Arsene has achieved that average with Fabregas, Fabregas and ….Fabregas! Yes, others have come through but right now who amongst them are likely to be Arsenal greats?

What brought me to this conclusion was the somewhat shocking realisation that Van Persie was so vital to Arsenal. This was not something I had contemplated at the start of the season. After all, they’d been without him for periods in the past hadn’t they? I never questioned their offensive wealth but was more inclined to look at their lack of defensive cover and question the quality in the DM role, all of which was hardly original as it had been their Achilles heel for some time.

Arsene may have invested more time and effort than the rest in seeking out the world’s best youth potential but he failed to beat the system and for that I offer no criticism. History shows that 15, 16 or 17 year old talent rarely translates into the latter day superstar that the premature hype invariably suggests. No amount of coaching, paternal encouragement or even praying will change this reality. The criticism due to Wenger is based on the fact that he has not realised this sooner….if not at the outset.

And it’s absolutely clear to me that he does still actually believe. He was truly gutted after Utd dumped his team out of the CL last season and his agitation during the recent defeats to Utd and Chelsea told its own story. Arsene has been incredulous. This was not how the script played out in his mind; not what he believed was destined. He has held steadfastly to his strategy…his belief…even to point of (seemingly) refusing to spend money that was available to strengthen his squad.

But it’s harsh to suggest that Fabregas is his only real success. After all, Fab is on a different planet to most but what of the others? Look no further than Walcott. The ‘England prodigy’ of the 2006 WC, having never kicked a ball in anger in the PL at the time and who saw zero playing time in the competition. Four years on and what do we have? A different temperament definitely but otherwise all the hallmarks of a Jermaine Pennant, that long forgotten prodigy of his own day! Yes, injuries have been a problem but in the intervening 4 years you can count the outstanding performances from Theo, for both club and country, on the fingers of one hand. And it was little over a month ago that I saw a debate amongst Arsenal fans as to whether they should cash in before his value dropped even further.

Nasri, Vela….not convinced that they will be around for the duration. Bendtner?….has yet to do anything to convince. Song has been, at times, lauded by Arsenal fans this season as potentially being the solution to the DM problem but I’m afraid he has a lot to do yet to prove that and I remain unconvinced. Denilson….ditto. Diaby? Blows hot and cold but who knows? Ramsey looks quality but maybe that will be needed….and then some….if Fabregas leaves what he may consider to be a sinking ship.

And then of course there is Jack Wilshere. Out on loan having just turned 18, Wilshere has possibly been the most hyped of all the Arsenal youngsters for some time now. It’s a huge burden to carry but I’ll wager this: Wilshere will make it in the game no doubt but I’ll bet a penny to a pound, like so many before him, that he doesn’t turn out to be a superstar at either Arsenal or for England.

I could go on, and the Arsenal fans will no doubt list off many more names, as they have in the past four years, but I’ll remain unconvinced. I’ve listened and watched for too long now and in the context of the analogy this ‘Emperor’ has no clothes, regardless of what the press, the pundits and the fans want to tell me. I am now convinced of this. But Arsene has lots of quality at his disposal and if he’ll just let his idealism go and take a more balanced approach he may still lead his team back to greatness!

But right now he and his ideals are as naked as a new born baby.

Yes, this Emperor truly has no clothes!

From Soccerlens.com - Football News

Whilst we are used to (endlessly irritated by?) the hype surrounding every build-up to an England World Cup campaign, it’s fair to say that in 2006 much of the hype held water. Here was the ‘Golden Generation’; players who were worthy of standing shoulder to shoulder with the best that rocked-up in Germany.

Yes, we have come to expect the over the top approach of the English media (the set them up, then tear them down mentality), and the fans (understandably) are always optimistic and expect the best. But the real barometer in 2006 was the view of the international media and fans. England were a real chance!  With quality all over the pitch and looking at the potential opposition………they could go all the way couldn’t they?  

Hindsight is 20:20 vision as they say. England never really performed and, as usual, a modicum of bad luck played its part. Rooney started the tournament injured, came on as a sub in the 2^nd game and then went for an early bath in the QF….does anyone need reminding of the Portuguese winker?

Michael Owen ‘did himself’ in the most bizarre circumstances at the start of game 3 and so the dynamic duo at England’s spearhead, they who were expected to wreak so much havoc, never really got out of the blocks. And let’s not forget that Lampard and Gerrard still looked like a couple of ballroom dancers wearing bovver boots, bruised toes all round.

Then there was the conductor of that particular orchestra …… the one and only Sven (he who selected a player in his squad who had never kicked a ball in anger in the Premier league). Yes, once again hindsight is 20:20 but in both the summer of 2006 and in just about everything that he has touched since, it’s probably an understatement to say that Sven was/has been about as effective as a wet lettuce.  

The potential was definitely there but in the final analysis, yet again, circumstances conspired to deliver another major disappointment to the country who likes to think it ‘owns’ the game. 40 years of hurt…and counting!

So as England approach South Africa 2010 how do the current squad compare and is there genuine hope to go with the inevitable hype? Can they do it and what are the key factors? Unquestionably the biggest factor of all is the team itself. I’ve previously argued that it’s all about the best 11 at a World Cup . Some squad players may make a difference but choosing your best 11 and sticking with it is clearly the best policy.   And on that note let’s revisit the England squad of 2006:

No.         Player

1              Robinson

2              Neville

3              Cole

4              Gerrard

5              Ferdinand

6              Terry

7              Beckham

8              Lampard

9              Rooney

10           Owen

11           Cole

12           Campbell

13           James

14           Bridge

15           Carragher

16           Hargreaves

17           Jenas

18           Carrick

19           Lennon

20           Downing

21           Crouch

22           Carson

23           Walcott

All of you reading this are already dedicated followers of fashion football, meaning that your sharp minds will have quickly distilled the fact that England’s key players in 2006….are STILL England’s key players in 2010. Indeed, depending on your own choice for England’s best 23, it may only vary by 4 or 5 players from last time round! To a large extent the ‘Golden Generation’ is still in tact. The question is have they lost some of their shine or are they still worth their weight in gold?

So let’s break it down position by position.

GK: Robinson may have fallen from grace since 2006 but at the time he was the best England had and was well established, unlike now when the position has become a total lottery. Capello will make his choice in the coming months but does that inspire anyone with confidence? You’ve got to score this position as a negative versus 2006.

RB: Gary Neville owned this position last time round with years of experience behind him and great leadership qualities (just ask Tevez!). Now it has passed to Glen Johnson who’s having an injury prone season, is good going forward but (sometimes) suspect defending, and has no real competition for his place. Another negative v 2006 I’m afraid. (Yes, Neville missed 3 games through injury in Germany but the very competent Carragher and Hargreaves filled–in.)

LB: Ashley Cole again and certainly playing as well as ever! Bridge continues to deputise (Gibbs is now out of the picture) so let’s hope he’s not needed. I’d say a plus here. More experience and possibly at his peak is Ashley.

CB: This is a worry! Capello badly needs Rio fit and back to his best. He’s due to return soon and with Terry, who continues to be a top defender, the formidable duo can resume where they left off 4 years ago.  It’s a tough one comparing the pair now to then. Have both lost a little edge at this stage or will experience make up for that. Let’s call that one a draw. (But if either is missing then the alternatives are a worry. None measure up to Sol last time round.)

DM: Barry is little better than average in my view but he generally gets the job done. I’d go with Hargreaves every time if fit but he looks less and less likely to make it now. A minor negative here if Hargo fails to recover. (Note: In 2006 England preferred to go without a DM for the most part.)

CM: Gerrard and Lampard four years on? The former continues to be hampered by injury and his absence would be a disaster. And even when fit is his form suffering? Lampard is getting on with business as usual but it is certainly a plus factor that under Capello the two have finally found the formula to playing together…..or finally found their dancing shoes….as it were.  Let’s call this one equal too.

RM/LM: Joe Cole and Beckham started all 5 games in Germany. There is now a debate as to whether Becks will even make the squad, never mind the team. A purple patch with Milan over the next 4 months could sort that out but, even if included, there’s no doubt that the Beckham of 2010 is a lesser being.

And the news on Joe Cole is not much better. Ongoing struggles with injury, Cole needs a big ‘end of season’ to get back on board. Neither may start in SA as part of England’s first 11….and that’s bad news from the point of view of who may take their place.

Lennon, Walcott, Wright-Phillips, Milner, Young, Downing…..it’s a lottery, and the endless debates just underline the lack of convincing candidates. Possibly Lennon if he can continue his form of the last year but a fit and on form Joe Cole would be a much better option in my opinion in a team that should dispense with orthodox wingers. Negative v 2006…..no question!

Strikers:  2006= Rooney/Owen, 2 world class strikers. 2010= Rooney + 1 other, 1 world class striker. Personally, I’d dispense with the need for a 2^nd striker and play Gerrard off Rooney but we know that Capello won’t do that. One of Heskey, Defoe, Bent, Cole, Agbonlahor, Crouch…..an inferior Owen even?….no chance! The truth is that whoever it will be will not be worthy of the stage and that’s a negative versus 2006. However, on the plus side, Rooney is on fire this season. He has stepped-up in quality and has added goals to his endless work rate and outstanding talent so maybe, at a stretch, we can call this one evens.  

Looking at the back-up in the squad, much of which is still under intense debate, there’s no need for me to bore you with an analysis. Certainly no better than 2006!

The overriding feeling you get when you analyse the subject is that the forbearers of doom who claim that the English game (in terms of developing talent) is being ruined by too many foreign players, poor coaching, poor acadamies etc. etc. could find no more fertile ground than this to conduct their exercise. Not a single major talent has emerged in the England camp in the past four years and several ‘great hopes’ (Richards, Wright=Phillips, Walcott and Lennon) have failed to stake their claim. So If England are to go close in SA 2010 or (whisper) even win the World Cup, then the key protagonists will be exactly the same as those that created so much expectation last time around. In evolutionary terms this ape hasn’t changed at all….in fact it has regressed.

It was reasonable to expect in 2006 that Walcott and Lennon (both in that squad) would have evolved into essential players for England by 2010. Both have been dogged by injury. Both have impressed in cameos but neither has staked an irrepressible claim. And the lack of challenge in other positions is frightening.

All that said, if Capello has all of his best players fit then there is still hope of a 1966 repeat. I can’t find any way in the analysis to conclude that England are better off, playing wise, than they were in Germany four years ago or that the ‘Golden Generation’ hasn’t loss some of its gloss but they’re still a decent unit with everyone available and, of course, though a major factor, that’s not all that will determine the issue.

How about the quality of the opposition v 2006? How about the influence of the manager? Just what is England’s best 11? And what about luck…..surely England have to get a break in a penalty shoot-out sometime soon?  

Good questions, even if I say so myself…..and all will be dealt with as I continue the build-up to SA 2010!

How do you compare the current England team/squad to the ‘Golden Generation’ of 2006?

From Soccerlens.com - Football News

For the mathematicians out there you’ll instantly recognise the numbers 11 and 23 as ‘prime numbers’, meaning of course that they are only divisible by themselves and 1.

For the football fans out there you will recognise 11 as the number of players you can have on the pitch at any one time and 23 as the number of players included in a World Cup squad.

So what?…. I hear you ask. Isn’t it about time Condell got back to work and left the Christmas spirit alone? Absolutely right of course, but bear with me and I’ll attempt to make some sense of that introduction.

Let us start with the England WC squad of 2002. These are the statistics for player appearances and starts.

The first thing of note here is that 9 players started every one of England’s 5 games in the tournament. 5 players saw no action whatsoever. Butt started 4, Sinclair 3 and Hargreaves 2. The rest fed off the scraps of a few limited substitute appearances.

On to 2006 and this was the picture:

• 7 players started every game. If Rooney, Owen, Gerrard and Neville had been fit throughout the tournament that would probably have been 11.
• 5 players saw no action at all and, again, others fed off the scraps of a few substitute appearances while the lucky ones got a couple of run-outs to cover for injuries.

Put another way, in 5 games or 55 starting opportunities, England’s 1st eleven filled 47 of those slots while the remaining 12 players in the squad amassed just 8 starts between them, covering for injuries.

The point is this. No manager worth his salt rolls-up to a World Cup without being absolutely clear in his mind as to what his best team is, what his preferred formation is, and what his tactics will be.

And make no mistake, no country ever wins the World Cup using a ‘squad’ system. It’s all about having a quality 11 and playing your best team every game. To win the WC you have to play 7 games in 4 weeks. Half the teams in the competition will only play 3 games, some 4, some 5 etc……so it’s no place for fannying around with tactics and formations and he who does is dead.

Hence my bemusement at the endless ongoing debates amongst England fans ever since they qualified! Fair enough, the goalkeeper position is up for grabs but Capello will make his choice in the coming months and stick with it through the tournament. Johnson, if fit, will be RB….because right now there’s no competition. But it’s the endless debates about wide players, back-up centre- backs and 2nd strikers that are so superfluous!

If England were to reach the Holy Grail in SA 2010 it will be Ferdinand, Terry, A.Cole, Gerrard, Lampard and Rooney who take them there. If fit and on form I would add J.Cole and Hargreaves to that list. The rest will make-up the numbers.

England need Ferdinand and Terry at their best. Lescott, Brown, Upson, Woodgate, King, Cahill etc etc? Yes, 2 or 3 of those names will travel but Capello will hope not to need any of them….and if he does then England’s chances will diminish.

Beckham, Lennon, Walcott, Milner, Wright-Phillips, Young, Downing? If someone was actually good enough….demanding the shirt as it were, would we have all this speculation? Again 3 or 4 of those names will be on the plane. Lennon or even Beckham, if he has an outstanding time at Milan in the coming months, will get the nod. The others are irrelevant, and even if they travel will see no major action at the finals.

Rooney is England’s one world class striker. Capello must light a candle every night before he goes to bed imploring the powers that be to keep him fit! Heskey, Defoe, Crouch, Bent, Cole, Agbonlahor….Owen even!? Personally I’d dispense with the need for a 2nd striker by doing what Benitez does at Liverpool…..more of that in a later article, but Capello won’t so he’ll make his choice and stick with it. The rest, whether on the plane or not will have little or no influence.

It’s all about the best 11 in a World Cup, so stop all the hand wringing and biased touting of your preferred club’s ‘possibles’ and concentrate on just that!

But determining England’s best 11 and formation, and comparing the 2010 squad with the ‘golden generation’ of 2006 are interesting exercises, not to mention having a look at the quality of the opposition versus 4 years ago.

In the coming weeks I’ll be discussing all of the above but…… in the meantime……… just remember that 23 into 11 doesn’t go!

From Soccerlens.com - Football News