An American Werewolf (wishes he were) in London
America and soccer have never had much more than a tepid amateur relationship. The paradox of this relationship resides in the fact that there are more soccer players in the United States than England, France, Argentina, Spain, and Brazil combined (FIFA.com).
If you ask anyone if they’ve played on a club team at some point in their life, the answer is usually yes. If you ask people if they know the rules and whether they like soccer, the answer is also yes. If you ask anyone if they actually follow any games, the answer is no.
I should say that I know plenty of people who “watch” soccer, but they follow it passively and could only tell you that they like Barcelona (and it’s always Barcelona. Ask them to name just three players and they can’t; if anything they might still say Ronaldinho! Hah!)
There are the classic reasons for our lack of excitement in the (rest-of-the) world’s game: we already have other established professional sports leagues; a serious lack of syndication; an inherent American aversion to European cultural institutions; and our ill-managed and oft-forgotten National Team. We could argue the smaller points of a lack of commercial viability for soccer on American TV, but the true tragedy lies in the rare American citizens who put the fan in fanatic. We are lonely freaks, watching games by ourselves in quiet bars at noon. We (and it’s hard to say ‘we’ when I personally don’t know of any others) talk about the games to ourselves, with no human face towards which we can propel our wrenched guts about that call or that play or that move. We flail our arms in joy while our eyes scan the room for someone to share the moment with. There are no friends in this room, city, state… country.
We call it soccer. Americans who call it football are either confused or come across as smarmy elitists who enjoy watching the MLS. I’m not anti-MLS, but there is a huge difference between the MLS and any of the top divisions in Europe. I hate being elitist, but after having forced myself to watch dozens and dozens of MLS games, I can never seem to have the same experience as I do when I watch even the bottom-tier Premier League teams play. The embarrassment of buying Beckham has also hurt the MLS by bringing in more assholes who wear Barcelona jerseys whenever they watch a game at the bar (which is twice a year, max, and yet they say “yeah, I follow soccer”).
You might say “hey, I’ve watched soccer in a bar in America,” and yes, I’ll agree that in many major cities there are plenty of places to go and watch games with others. The catch is that they are just that: Others. Foreigners - usually Brits - quiz the naïve Americans on teams and players and look you up and down waiting for an appropriate response (and no offense intended, it’s just an observation). The answer is never good enough: the team is always the wrong choice and you can never answer on a whim what Shaun Wright-Phillips preferred position was at Chelsea. Shunned, you sip your beer quietly… but what is that? A couple of Americans sitting a table over? Oh, wait… no, they’re wearing Ronaldinho jerseys and drinking bottles of Bud Light. Fuck that. You don’t go back to the soccer bar. At home you resign to a solitary, reflective existence, always clicking around on websites that end in “dot co dot uk” for more stats, more news, more transfer rumors…
The American soccer fan has one big friend, albeit a non-human one, in the internet. The internet has done more for American soccer than 10 David Beckhams could ever do. The internet democratizes soccer for the American consumer and allows us to connect to the game as never before. We have access to sites devoted to news, analysis, commentary, discussion, and the best feature of all: streaming video. In the olden times (two or three years ago) one had to get satellite TV and then subscribe to a sports package with 100 random channels just to get access to FSC and Setanta. Now, I have access to dozens of sites where I can pick and choose which games I want to see in the comfort of my own living room. No more uncomfortable trips to cheesy Irish-themed “soccer bars” (and why are they always Irish-themed, as though the Irish are the only ones who drink while watching soccer) in midtown Manhattan where a pint costs 9 dollars. When I found out about watching games on the internet a couple of years ago, my spirit revolted upon itself and burst anew, causing my eyes to explode in glory and joy. Though I earlier lamented the downsides of watching it alone, I am just grateful that I can experience the emotional supernova of the game that courses through my atomic makeup.
BOOM. THIS SHIT IS SO FUCKING AWESOME.
That’s usually what I feel like while watching a truly majestic match, but words are too limiting. If you were to simultaneously smoke a blunt, have two orgasms, and have your legs ripped off, it might equal the intensity that you and I feel. I know that the soccer-obsessed American is in the minority, but we make up for our tiny numbers in our collective emotional bloodletting. Our small group will be the first ones to tell you that our national team has a ways to go, and we will support them even through the worst regimes (Steve Sampson, Bruce Arena, Bob Bradley…).
With all this optimism, however, comes pragmatism. I understand that soccer will never be as much a fixture in American culture as baseball, football or basketball. It is important to realize that these sports take precedent in America, and that if we are to experience top level soccer, we must look at two exciting trends: the increasing number of venues showing games (internet and TV accessibility), and the rising talent of our own homegrown players. Think about the effect that Yao Ming has had on basketball in China. Now think what might happen if the United States was to have its own star player on Juventus or even (gasp!) Barcelona (and as much as I rag on them, I do understand that it would be a great moment for the American soccer cause). The commercial effect is important, because a superstar would bring exposure. Landon Donovan is arguably the biggest star we have, but think about the advertisements in the US during the World Cup. They are filled with the soccer celebrities du jour, which in 2006 were mainly Brazilians sprinkled with a little Zidane. But this isn’t about what’s in soccer ads, it’s about what’s not, and that’s an American face.
Yet there’s good news in the end. The internet will allow for greater exposure, but it’s also important to recognize the role of our national team in America’s soccer growth. The American squad itself is in a transformative period, with some great upcoming talent and by far the best squad we’ve ever had. As for our league, while I support the MLS, it will obviously never be up to the level of the European leagues. However, it’s possible that the MLS can get exciting enough to be watchable. I do not think the best talent should stay in the US. If we are ever to compete on an international level, we need players to spend time in Europe, playing for the top clubs (and yes, I know Adu and Altidore are leading the way, but they need more time to mature before we can call them fixtures on the international scene). With more Americans playing for top clubs in Europe, the intensity of the interest will rise. I started out by saying that many Americans know what soccer is. The fundamental difference is that Americans need to get more intense. How many years will it be before an American not only puts on a Liverpool (or Chelsea, or AC Milan, or Real Madrid!) jersey, but is a fixture in the starting 11!
Our passion will sustain us. This is what I keep coming back to. The small band of illusory American soccer fanatics will survive and grow, but we will also have to remain patient and rely on technological ingenuity to feed our craving. This is the most exciting part, because as the American youth grow up, they will invariably have more access to soccer than our parents did. Maybe one day the Champions League final will be broadcast, primetime, on ABC! Maybe I’ll be able to discuss the finer points of Everton’s defense while in line for groceries! Maybe not that… but maybe I’ll go to bar in five years and not want to disappear into the suds at the bottom of the glass. Maybe I’ll stand up on my chair, hear Americans cheering on our national team, and then fall down drunk! Maybe baby. Maybe.
Written by Will Roche.
This article is a submission for the Soccerlens 2008 Writing Competition; to participate, please read the details here. The competition is sponsored by Subside Sports (premier online store for football shirts) and Icons (official signed football jerseys).
Brilliant submission. As a stranded American ’soccer’ fan, I second every sentiment expressed. Hope this wins the contest.
There are some pretty good articles submitted this year, but this one has to top the cake. I finally feel like someone has been able to put into words what I have been feeling all of these years.
-Stranded in College Station, Texas, United States
Great article. I, too agree with what you’re saying here and feel slightly encouraged that you’ve found bars that actually show matches. Me? I’m searching for streams in the wee hours of weekend mornings and ducking out of work on Tuesdays and Wednesdays to catch Champions League on ESPN2. Glad to know I’m not alone.
Will, you are spot on. MLS, while mildly entertaining is the equivalent of methadone to a heroin addict - it just doesn’t cut it. As an Everton supporter in the US, and a home grown American, I am an island in a lonely sea of sphincters. However, I was in a Casino in Laughlin, Nevada, of all places, and I spotted some bloke wearing a Liverpool shirt. I walked by and said ‘Feck off Liverpool, GO EVERTON’. He laughed, but unfortunately, he didn’t take a swing. Damn it, so close! All kidding aside, I coach youth soccer, I’m a fanatic, and I take the game quite seriously. I can only hope that I pass a bit of my passion on to a few of the kids. That’s all we can do - build a love of the beautiful game one player at a time…
I do appreciate this article. It’s a good summation of the feelings of many soccer fans. I think you’d feel more excited about MLS if you had a local club to support. The footprint is still too small. I would never be the fan I am of MLS if I lived in St. Louis. Even living in KC it took years to get over the “well it’s just not as good of a level” (like that ever matters to the English fans of League Two teams, or Kaiser Chiefs fans).
It’s the same as, “Why isn’t the NBA popular in Kansas City, even though it is one of the top college basketball towns in the country?”. There is no local NBA team to root for since the Kings left almost 30 years ago.
The MLS game I attended last week featuring KC vs. San Jose was won 3-2 with a last second goal that was the culmination of a hard fought game with a fantastic atmosphere.
It was infinitely more exciting than any game I’ve ever watched on TV, despite not having a single player that would start for a megaclub, and that is why one day MLS or some equivalent will succeed in America.
Live soccer will almost always trump TV soccer if you have a rooting interest. What you’re looking for is available right now, but you have to be in the right part of the country to be able to experience it.
I feel for you i really do, thats what i call a true fan thank god i’m from England. Great article mate
I agree in some respects. As a devoted american Liverpool supporter (who can answer all your smarmy little english questions about whomever and whatever you like about the epl) I see these ignorant people too.
but getting little giggles out of their ignorance solves nothing. embrace them, dont quiz them. who knows they might actually decide to take a real interest.
Less smarm, more compassion and understanding.
We have as many hardcore soccer fanatics in the US as say Belgium, unfortunately we have 30times the population and it is hard to find some of these people. The only way I compare soccer to being gay is that I understand what gay men have to go through to find someone that understands them. Some sports fans in this country and you mention something about soccer and their eyes and minds go blank. Or they dont know what to say and they make some homosexual joke to push their unsure feeling back to me.
Fact is there is plenty of room to grow soccer. Baseball is dying out (just about dead in the American Black culture) and football is becoming quite violent even at the high school levels, that Soccer could gain more and more. And of course the Latin content of this country continues to grow, and at some point the national team will figure out what to do with them.
In 5 to 10 years almost all MLS teams will have their own cutesy comfortable and atmospheric possible soccer only stadiums so that the MLS will be one of the best housed leagues in the world with all the monster cavernous football lined stadiums finally behind them. I personally do not have a favorite team as of yet, but it is a growing league and I would like to see where the teams and I settle down.
I assure you as a white american soccer fan with no family or local support of professional soccer teams that I am not a Barca fan. I havent fully decided which La Liga team I support, but teams like Atletico Madrid and Villareal have caught my eye for some time.
My ultimate favorite team in the world is the Legendary Newcastle United. Also my beer of choice is Newcastle Brown Ale as most American beers are pretty poor, as are German beers (they suck…Belgium is the king). I know I know Newcastle is always in turmoil and has no potential only massive failures, but they are an interesting bunch with a loyal fanbase, fun stadium, and a passion for flair even when they have none. I could never follow the top 4. I hate them all..and although I know I am supposed to hate Sunderland the most, even they cannot touch the hatred that I feel for Tottenham. I hate Spurs so much. I cant think of a better team to be in 19th position over.
So in closing. Soccer fan here…white guy..in Ohio….if you see a guy in Ohio wearing an Ascoli Calcio 1898 shirt its gotta be me…say Hello and lets talk about soccer
War Toon
War Italia… campione del mondo!
Also….for American fans starting out trying to figure out soccer, its players, history, teams, stadiums, jerseys, anything…there is NO better place than to use Wikipedia. I have learned so much about so many obsure things relating to soccer since you just start out by putting in a team or a stadium or a league and just read and let the hotlinks take you through the world of soccer. Have Google and YouTube ready to further your finds….
“If you were to simultaneously smoke a blunt, have two orgasms, and have your legs ripped off, it might equal the intensity that you and I feel”
Classic!…and I totally get it!
As a fan living in Perth, Western Australia, I can completely realte to the article, more so by the fact that in my former life I travelled to matches and spent endless hours discussing the issues (endlessly) in Irish bars (real ones, in Ireland…..I think it’s the level of consimption that differentiates them!)
Now I have nobody to talk to about my passion and spend my time debating the key points with myself and on the internet.
Fantastic article and I hope it wins. Well done!
“but getting little giggles out of their ignorance solves nothing. embrace them, dont quiz them. who knows they might actually decide to take a real interest.” -Jordan
No, I totally understand, and I never meant to come across as being jerkish on my part. I sometimes get carried away with my thoughts in my rambling style, and I even went back to try and add a disclaimer before I submitted this. And I want to add here that I have had some amazing times watching games with guys and gals from all over world. It’s a bummer, but the cold receptions we Americans get leave deeper marks than the good receptions do. (It’s a fact of life, and to paraphrase Futurama: when something is done right, you usually won’t notice it at all)
Incredible!
Excellent submission, excellent. Couldn’t agree with some of that stuff any more.
Americans “know” soccer, but hate it.
We also like Arsenal. Arsenal and Barcelona, and that’s it. No more. And then they have ManU jerseys and they have no clue what ManU is. Pretty scary, huh?
Well I’m a Manchester United fan, for what it’s worth… a bit too young to hit up the bars, but streaming video of Premier League fixtures anywhere from 4 to 8 AM here on the West Coast online keep me connected. Sometimes you’ve just got to force it - talk to random people, and maybe you’ll get lucky and find a random soccer fan with whom you can satisfy your craving for meaningful discussion. I am ashamed to say that I do, in fact, own a Ronaldinho jersey from back in the day, but my closet’s full of others, so I don’t feel too bad. I don four different Man U kits throughout the week, simultaneously alienating me from the majority of Americans and drawing out that illusive minority of fellow fans. Keep looking - you’ll find a surprising amount of fans in the mainstream if you look hard enough.
When I say you are dead on, I mean so dead on as if I were having some sort of revelation, like speaking in tongues or something as deranged and spooky as that.
You are so right, the smarmy snobbishness imported from the Old World is just as unbearable as the sad soccer gatherings of our compatriots. And, right, the internet is like our own personal new colony–a prelude of what’s to come, on our real soil, hopefully. If not victory, then more genuine interest.
I , myself, a player and fan since peewee and World Cup 1994, have sought the authentic soccer bar across the ocean. And no matter what, from Beshiktash to Olympique Marseille, you are still a freak, an American fan of–what do you call it? Sok-AIRRRRRRR? SO I hang in there, surfing those UK sites with the corner of my eye on 2010.
Bless your heart, Will, for your words of wisdom and hope.
wow, SPOT ON, that pretty much sums it up
amazing article
Totally agree really good Will. Hope u win.
Definitely deserved the win and the recognition. As a fellow “stranded” American this sums everything up insanely accurate, although I could do w/o getting my legs pulled off.
The driving point of an American being a starter for a major euro club is a HUGE one and if/when that ever happens it will be a gigantic turn for US soccer. KUDOS on everything!!!
You nailed it.
I’m one of the very few people I know who enjoys all aspects of the game (I’ve played, coached, reffed, and avidly follow), so I’m all too familiar with the lonely American soccer world. Even my roommate who “loves” soccer can’t be arsed to know who Fernando Torres is.
I was in Holland in August, and made a lifelong friend out of a boy in a pub who thought it would be funny to quiz me on Dutch soccer. He said Americans don’t know about soccer, especially girls. He gave me hugs and kisses and beer, and now I’m his “favorite American.” All because I could name a few Dutch players.