Abramovich sells Robben; “Real Madrid made Chelsea an offer I couldn’t refuse”

In a sign of things to come, Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich has admitted in a candid interview that he has accepted a Real Madrid offer for Arjen Robben.


“Chelsea are not a selling club – I want you to write that down and memorise it.

Chelsea are NOT a selling club.

However, there are times when the offer is too good to pass up.

Arjen Robben gets injured frequently, he dives and gives Chelsea a bad name, he asks for more wages and more playing time, and he’s not going to be better than Ronaldo.

I had thought of getting rid of him when a good offer came along, and Real Madrid made it.

It’s not unreasonable to ask for 40m for Robben – he’s a quality player and we’re making a profit on his sale, maybe more.

Chelsea will use that money to buy 40 young stars and put them in the youth academy. If 5 of those 40 players turn out to be good players, we can put them in the first team.

If they are crap, we can sell them for $2m and make a profit.

This Robben deal will be very profitable for Chelsea.”

On Soccerlens:

“Have you decided on selling out yet?

I like you, and as a sample, I’m sending some Russian Chelsea fans over to your place. Think about my earlier offer. And call me Roman – all my friends do!”

I certainly will, Roman. Thank you again.

Disclaimer: April Fool! 🙂 Nothing in the above news item should be considered truthful, as it is all a figment of the author’s imagination. To comment on this item, to offer your views on this ‘prank’ or to read more April Fool stories, please visit the official April Fools page on Soccerlens.

Bale: I won't learn anything at Tottenham
Abramovich: "Chelsea is bigger than Mourinho, I love Chelsea fans"