8 Reasons Why Liverpool Signed Peter Crouch

Outside Liverpool, opinions on Peter Crouch are mixed and range from absolute derision to lukewarm praise. His inclusion in the England squad surprised a lot of people – not because he was good with the ball in his feet and a great target man – but because better strikers were being left out of the squad.

But we finally figured out why Rafa Benitez had signed Crouchie, and why Liverpool has become a better club because of Peter Crouch playing for them.

It’s not just one reason, but 8 darn good reasons. You know what they say about pictures being worth a thousand words? Well, here you go:

Peter Crouch

The question is not how he managed to hold his facial muscles still for this shot, but whether he will ever be able to apply such self-control on a more regular basis?

Peter Crouch


Peter Crouch

double ditto

Peter Crouch

It seems pretty far away, doesn’t it? England winning 6-0 against Jamaica, Crouch dancing and then getting overconfident and missing a penalty….now I know Benitez couldn’t predict these dance moves, but surely he must have had a hint, seeing…

Peter Crouch

You would think that with his height (and those obscenely long legs) he’d have no trouble getting high balls and those long balls that were launched at him by Robinson. His legs couldn’t get to this one, and despite using his hands to push down on opposition players as he jumped, his head couldn’t get to the latter.

Peter Crouch

A horrible way to be remembered in a World Cup. This miss may well be the memory of Crouch that England fans take away from the World Cup.

Peter Crouch

ditto again

Peter Crouch

Crouch: “What the fuck is happening to me?” Ronaldo: “Dude we’re wondering the same thing….”

I’d post more, but I got tired of looking at Crouch making funny faces. Get more pics on Crouch if you’re interested.

In seriousness, I think Peter Crouch needs to sort his game out and work on his finishing (and his aerial skills) a lot more. With his height and ball skills, he can be a good striker but right now he’s not what England needs.

Unfortunately, with Rooney bound to be suspended and Owen off the list for the rest of the year (he has to wait two months before the next op can take place), Crouch will be the first striker in England’s lineup. Time to put the pre-season training to good use.

Disclaimer: For the Anfield faithful amongst you, well…take it easy, it’s supposed to be light fun. You are welcome / encouraged to post your arguments in favor of Mr. Crouch in the comments section below.

Update: You guys are also encouraged to send in any Man Utd jokes you have 🙂 I’ll put up the best ones on the site.

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