8 Reasons Why Liverpool Signed Peter Crouch
Outside Liverpool, opinions on Peter Crouch are mixed and range from absolute derision to lukewarm praise. His inclusion in the England squad surprised a lot of people – not because he was good with the ball in his feet and a great target man – but because better strikers were being left out of the squad.
But we finally figured out why Rafa Benitez had signed Crouchie, and why Liverpool has become a better club because of Peter Crouch playing for them.
It’s not just one reason, but 8 darn good reasons. You know what they say about pictures being worth a thousand words? Well, here you go:
The question is not how he managed to hold his facial muscles still for this shot, but whether he will ever be able to apply such self-control on a more regular basis?
ditto
double ditto
It seems pretty far away, doesn’t it? England winning 6-0 against Jamaica, Crouch dancing and then getting overconfident and missing a penalty….now I know Benitez couldn’t predict these dance moves, but surely he must have had a hint, seeing…
You would think that with his height (and those obscenely long legs) he’d have no trouble getting high balls and those long balls that were launched at him by Robinson. His legs couldn’t get to this one, and despite using his hands to push down on opposition players as he jumped, his head couldn’t get to the latter.
A horrible way to be remembered in a World Cup. This miss may well be the memory of Crouch that England fans take away from the World Cup.
ditto again
Crouch: “What the fuck is happening to me?” Ronaldo: “Dude we’re wondering the same thing….”
I’d post more, but I got tired of looking at Crouch making funny faces. Get more pics on Crouch if you’re interested.
In seriousness, I think Peter Crouch needs to sort his game out and work on his finishing (and his aerial skills) a lot more. With his height and ball skills, he can be a good striker but right now he’s not what England needs.
Unfortunately, with Rooney bound to be suspended and Owen off the list for the rest of the year (he has to wait two months before the next op can take place), Crouch will be the first striker in England’s lineup. Time to put the pre-season training to good use.
Disclaimer: For the Anfield faithful amongst you, well…take it easy, it’s supposed to be light fun. You are welcome / encouraged to post your arguments in favor of Mr. Crouch in the comments section below.
Update: You guys are also encouraged to send in any Man Utd jokes you have 
I’ll put up the best ones on the site.
Topics: Liverpool
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Your blind ignorance is laughable. The job Crouchy did when he came on against Portugal was reminicant of his Liverpool performances all season. Where Rooney looked isolated, Crouch held up the ball and brought the midfielders into the game. I see that most of your ctiticism’s of Crouch are based on his appearance – says it all really.
July 8th, 2006 @ 12:31There is plenty of discussion amongst Liverpool fans as to the value of Crouch. I feel he’s an average player who has got lucky. Slow, weak in the air, easily outmuscled amd hardly scores. Not the credentials of a proper Liverpool centre forward. Decent on the deck I suppose.
July 8th, 2006 @ 12:36Very astute of you Red John, you figured out what the joke was….
July 8th, 2006 @ 12:45If you are wondering why Crouch failed to impress England fans and pundits alike, look no further than the \”second best\” midfielder in the Premiership – fat Frank Lampard. How many shots did he take from how many brilliant Crouch knock-downs? How many did he convert? Lampard received the best service from any target man in Germany, and while a case could be made that Koller might have done a better job if he wasn\’t forced to pull out of the competition with a hamstring injury, Crouch was the best target man in the tournament, bar the magnificent Miroslav Klose. If Lampard had converted half the chances that Crouch set up for him, England would be in Berlin right now, accompanied my thousands of English fans chanting the name of the mighty bean pole.
The fact of the matter is that Owen was not good enough, Lampard was not good enough, and although it pains me to say it, Gerrard was not good enough. Yet, following in the footsteps of our much maligned former Head Coach, Sven, we are sticking with our established internationals, and blaming our failures on the less experienced.
July 8th, 2006 @ 12:56This is very unfair. Crouch is a victim of abuse from those biased against very tall people.
He is a very good player. Yes he’s not world class. But he’s not that bad. C’mon! Give him a break. Stop making fun of Crouchy.
However, those pictures were really funny. Hahahhaha.
July 8th, 2006 @ 15:55That’s the point – he’s not bad. But when he’s not great either (seeing that he doesn’t make good use of his best attribute – his height) and that his ‘holding up’ play is something other, faster, stronger strikers can do as well (dammit, Heskey?), why is he the darling of Anfield and of Eriksson as well?
Anon: The whole England team is to blame. Crouch was had a decent world cup, but from looking at him you expect better, not worse. He has a lot of potential, but that comes to nought if he doesn’t do justice to it.
July 8th, 2006 @ 16:00Crouch had a storming few games pre world cup.
He started the first 2 games which we won. He was dropped for the Sweden and Portugal games – how did we get on in those games again?
The benefit of Crouch is not so much his goals or even the flick ons – its the ability to hold the ball up and allow the midfield to join the attack. Crouch ensured that England retained posession in the opposing half – job done in my opinion.
The Valencia model employed by Benitez will not gain the appreciation of the neutral but it will get results. Ask Valencia fans if they would have preferred to have not played John Carew in the year that they won La Liga?
I’ve not seen a player hold the ball up better since John Barnes. The problem is that Crouch has an odd game where he is awful (e.g. Charlton away last season). When consistency comes so the neutral will be convinced.
July 8th, 2006 @ 20:40Apart from Fowler, I can’t think of a better English striker right now!
July 8th, 2006 @ 21:42So we now want to judge our players on whether they look decent when they smile at the booth in Woolies?
Ok, fine, Crouchie would not gain any credit for looking sensible enough to be taken seriously so he just has to let his football do that instead…. and he does, pretty well at that!
But then there is one player who has a face like thunder, is uglier than a bull terrier and a temper to match. Yup, that’s Rooney for you. Anyone want to start a petition to have him dropped from the England team (apart from for the next two games as that said temper has already achieved that for him!) permanently? No, I didn’t think so.
Come to that, Messrs Carragher, Ferdinand, Neville and others are just as naff on the looks front but they all cut it as footballers perfectly well. So what if these people have beautiful hangers on for WAGs? They are not there because of these guys irresistability I can assure you. Well, maybe their bank balance is the irresistable bit for them!
So come on, get off Crouch’s back. He did well in the World Cup in the two games he started. Then he gets dropped by that Swedish Ignoramus our Sour FA paid obscene amounts of money to for the last few years despite him being worse than useless as a national team coach. The player we were all told we should pray desperately would be fit and ready for the World Cup did get his fitness in time, and then blew it. Yet we are all told not to givbe him grief over it despite the fact his two-match ban in the Euro qualifiers will probably see us fail to qualify for that tournament as well.
Crouchie is a gangly stick insect of a man but he is a very good player and valuable to both England and Liverpool. That’s his job, that’s what he is paid for and he has proven well worth the money so that is the end of it! Give him a break!
July 9th, 2006 @ 01:37crouch is not worthy yet,theo might have bin,,,
July 9th, 2006 @ 08:14Playing his position is so easy that when rooney was asked to do it he lost his head and cost us the world cup. If only we’d have started with crouch against postugal, maybe we’d be in the final today.
Liverpool fans see him as a decent player (not a great player) who does a job and keeps improving and so should england fans. It isn’t his fault the svennis-turd didn’t take any other fit strikers.
July 9th, 2006 @ 19:05Yep, where’s the article on the best player in the world ever…30 million pound Rooney then? Vastly overrated and once again, a big game bottler unlike Crouch who took each game by the scruff and actually did something with the ball rather than fall over a lot like hothead Wayne. Benitez sees the value of Crouch, that’s why Liverpool had their midfielders scoring goals for fun, Sven is a second rate manager and fooled the English FA into thing we’d win the world cup. Blame him, Not Crouch
July 9th, 2006 @ 19:20Let’s be honest, Crouch is crap and should never have been at the world cup. He would not have made the T&T
July 19th, 2006 @ 12:19actually i kept stats on when he came on, and he only controlled the ball about 3 times vs Portugal. One of which he had to dribble back into his own half before passing back even further. he’s a joke. I’m american (but living in London) and even my friends in the us think this guy is horrible. And that’s saying something as they are stuck with watching MLS.
July 30th, 2006 @ 20:58For a gentleman who must have experienced racial abuse at some stage in his life, to be prejudiced against someone solely because of the way they were born is really really discouraging.
September 28th, 2006 @ 23:23Crouch is the best player i’ve ever seen!!
March 12th, 2007 @ 13:41[expletive deleted] CROUCHY RULES!!!! Crouch and Beckham can carry england!!!
November 17th, 2007 @ 20:02